Isn't Michael Jackson still alive?

Despite his cardiac arrest on Thursday 25th June 2009, I believe Michael Jackson is still alive just like Aaliyah whom he inspired (at least in the hearts of many music lovers). Uganda is many hours ahead of the US and around the afternoon of the same day here, someone played ‘Heal the World’ in the office and I sang along not knowing that by the following morning I would be reading on a friend’s Facebook update that MJ had gone to meet his MAKER, Glory to HIM! The friend didn’t even have kind words for him but MJ will forever be an icon in my Hall of Fame. I became a fan of MJ’s music around 1991 when the psychedelically marketed ‘Dangerous’ Album came to Jinja, my birthplace. I was just over 7 years old but love (or lust) for the opposite sex was becoming a real thing for me so I understood what he was saying. ‘Black or White’ featuring the Coolest Kid at that time (McClurkin from the addictive ‘Home Alone’ film franchise) was overplayed on TV in the 90s cementing the Black Elvis’s status in my mind as the World’s Favourite Entertainer. Little did I know that in 1982 two years before I was born, he had achieved a music marketing record that has never been broken. He literally died an invincible Record Holder with the Best Selling Album of All – Time, that is, “Thriller”. It is not my favourite but regardless of my preferences, his record still stands. Nevertheless, I must confess that most, if not all, of his songs are really good and he had a knack of featuring well known personalities in his videos.

My favourite Michael Jackson song is ‘Stranger in Moscow’. It is so heart-warming that you feel even rain falling on your skin or anything refreshing (instead of tears) can actually wash away the pain in your heart. Just bask in the sun of a beach, rain of a street or lose yourself in anything good and feel it wash away the troubles in your life: “Your Madness is Your Gladness” is usually my Pain Therapy. Amazingly, Wacko Jacko – nickname due to his changing face – wrote this song while on tour in Moscow, Russia. He was being accused in law courts back home of molesting kids and he felt lonely, isolated, abandoned and on the verge of madness. After everything he had done for people, he couldn’t believe they had turned against him, talk of Ba Yuda (Traitors, Impostors, Masqueraders, Liars, Back Stabbers, Haters, Opportunists, Viper Snakes, Hypocrites, Slimy Mud Slingers, Kigeugeu (Double Standards), Bloodsuckers or in Biblical terms Judases, Balaams, Jezebels, Delilahs and Absaloms. They smile in the light and hate in the dark like Two faced Vultures, Hypocrites, and Sons of the Devil). He actually acquired his Neverland Ranch to get away from this celebrity life. Judie Brisse, his caretaker at the ranch, confessed that Michael ‘could not trust anyone.’ ‘Stranger in Moscow’ is the 5th and final single in “HIStory” (his 1996 album), “When you are alone and you’re cold inside. Like Stranger in Moscow, LORD have mercy. (We are talkin' danger. We are talkin' danger, baby! Like Stranger in Moscow X2) I'm livin' lonely, I'm livin' lonely, baby. Like Stranger in Moscow”

Quincy Jones, his long time production partner was shocked by the sad news. I guess he will miss the hugest gem he had ever handled by my standards. Before playing the 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup Final (the precursor of the 2010 Soccer World Cup – the first in Africa) against defending champions Brazil, American striker Landon Donovan told a press conference that when they win, he would dedicate the championship to Michael Jackson and not Barack Obama. Blacks have always been doing great things. Personally, I was not too excited when Obama became the first Black President, there had already been Blacks in high governmental and judicial positions. This was just the final frontier that was definitely going to be conquered. I knew it wasn’t about race, we are all brothers and sisters and can do what others do. That’s what MJ preached. I do not even care what religion he was, what I know is that he taught unity and equality. If that is evil, then I would rather spend my time listening to artists like him than pretend to be holier than him like some people. In the game, American goalie Tim Howard (Golden Glove Recipient) kept Brazil chasing shadows in the first half. Then Donovan consumating a thrilling fast break scored USA’s second, what to me was the Goal of the Match dedicated to Michael Jackson, even though the World Champions inevitably returned in the Second Half with three Cup-Winning strikes: Two from Luis Fabiano (Silver Ball and Golden Shoe) and the winner headed in late from Elano’s corner by Samba Boys Captain Lucio (Fair Play Award Recipient). Golden Ball winner Kaka’s legitimate goal was even disallowed, the linesman was blind that moment. I knew Brazil could come back but felt for Dempsey (Bronze Ball Award Winner) who scored the first US goal. The pain of losing the final made him shed tears; that’s how painful it must have also felt losing MJ: Fans cried profusely outside the Ronald Reagan Hospital where he had been taken from his home. No hard feelings Uncle Sam, but MJ featured Brazil (who also belong to Jesus) in his song ‘They Don’t Care About Us’ so they probably deserved to win too. His moves have been copied in small time studios around the world and even parodied by contemporary artists like Eminem and Keri Hilson. In my Mad Thoughts, if Usher, Justin Timberlake, Ginuwine, Chris Brown and Omarion stage a concert in Memory of the King, it could be the best alternative gift to the world that was anticipating the real thing MJ died preparing for.

My favourite Videos by MJ were "Black or White" (Of course) and “Bad”, for the 1987 Album’s title track, directed by Martin Scorsese and featuring Wesley Snipes. The quality is so classy that it beats some modern ones. His high pitched voice and thrilling dance strokes can also be viewed in ‘Earth Song’, ‘Cry’, ‘You Are Not Alone’, ‘Beat It’, ‘Billie Jean’, ‘Do U Remember the Time?’ featuring Magic Johnson and Eddie Murphy. Wow, USA has really produced many legends with the MJ initials from Michael Jordan to Magic Johnson, Michael Johnson to Marion Jones to Mick Jagger (of the Rolling Stones) and Montell Jordan. The videos ‘USA for Africa’ and ‘Liberian Girl’ have a star-studded cast showing you just how far MJ reached. The latter (Dedicated to Elizabeth Taylor - the Most Beautiful Woman in the World) actually features the greatest actors during their generation namely Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover, John Travolta plus others. My Favourite American Director Steven Spielberg also made an appearance when someone asked,, ‘Who’s directing this? Where is Michael?” Another wonder is that the girl at the start of the video speaks in Swahili, East Africa’s Official Language. By the way, a maid who once worked for MJ has a home in Bushenyi, Western Uganda so his loss is felt here too. If you watch ‘Moonwalker’, a musical movie by the ‘King of Pop’, you will notice how movie-like most of his music videos were, fantastic stuff. In my life, I do not think I will ever see another performer as thrilling as Michael Jackson, he was simply the World’s Greatest. Unfortunately, he made some Satanic Covenants, LORD have Mercy!

Whose Role is it in Supporting Arts?

The third series of the Bayimba Cultural Discussions (sponsored by Hivos) were held on Friday 24th April 2009 at Club Rouge.

("It became clear during the first discussions that culture and arts are important in shaping and transforming society. The arts were defined as expressions and visible parts of culture.

In any developing economy, the creative arts industry is a key sector that contributes to both economic and social development. It is widely recognized that arts can reach corners no one can reach. It can pass on powerful messages: for the good (e.g. Jose Chameleone sang about domestic violence, Bobi Wine pleads to his ghetto families for community work and self realisation, Pamela of Shalom Rapperz (Holy Rhapsody) - a Hiphop Gospel group comprising three hunks and a Mukiga belle - sings about integrity in the promiscuous world (Catch their videos on TOP TV or at JP Plaza Nkrumah Road), Lady J from West Nile sings about having fun while we are still alive, Chandiru Leila sings about Prostitutes fleecing promiscuous men, Desire Luzinda featuring Ngoni sings about Faithfulness in Marriage while Silver Kyagulanyi writes songs about Love) but also for bad (e.g. a Rwandan artist that was recently convicted for having contributed to the genocide).

However, the creative arts industry needs to be supported to reach this level – a vision for a sustainable creative arts industry needs to be in place. And, for the creative arts industry to contribute successfully to shaping and transforming society arts and creative minds need to be supported – their quality and professionalism needs to be enhanced.

The question is who should support the arts sector?

The role of the community:
In the absence of funding, communities often pitch in to ensure that initiatives go forward. One should not underestimate the community spirit and spirit of volunteers in sustaining the arts. However, to reach a certain level of professionalism and quality that is called for, these communities and individuals need to be supported in their efforts.

The role of the government:
There are several reasons why a government could/should support arts and art institutions. First, because arts can be seen as a collective good: everyone should be able to enjoy. The government assist in making sure that everyone can actually enjoy. Second, because arts is considered a merit good: art as a means to educate people and the population. Third, because it is necessary to conserve some forms of arts (heritage). Finally, because of the potential positive external effects of arts: arts centres and events have an effect on (local) economy while arts can contribute to national tourism and boost a country’s image.

Role of the private sector:
Private businesses, foundations and wealthy individuals have been an important factor in support of arts. What motivates businesses, foundations and individuals to give to the arts – what reason or benefit do they see to support the arts sector? Whereas foundations and individuals are inclined to have more altruistic reasons to provide support (linked to individual interest in arts and belief in role of arts in society), private businesses provide support because they see a mileage in a certain arts initiative or see it as part of their corporate social responsibility (CSR).

It is mind-boggling how private businesses perceive sponsorship to arts activities: support to the arts sector is rather ad hoc and at an individual level – there is no advert that is made without the involvement of arts (radio spots use music, television spots use graphics, artists are appearing in adverts or used for posters). There are also disciplines of arts that are more attracting to businesses. Whereas private businesses are testifying that music and arts form the thesis of all things we do in life, there is no ground support to the arts sector. It would be preferred if businesses would not only use arts to make money but also return to the very sector they are relying on for their publicity and marketing. A mutual relationship between arts and private businesses would eventually be beneficial to both sectors.

The following questions are raised:
1. Do arts need to be supported?

2. Who should support the arts? What blending of public and private support is needed?

3. How do government and private sector relate to arts? What are the reason(s) for supporting arts?

4. What is the government responsibility in the creation of a cultural vibrant society?

5. What is the role of private businesses? Who are other supporters of arts?

6. How do we support arts? In what way can government, private businesses assist? Direct funding, indirect support?

7. Is there a way we can build an arts sector that is sustainably and not only depending on external (public or private) support?

Arts play a beneficial role in society – the benefits can be both social and economic. We will need to agree that art is good for people as well as for the economy – it provides jobs, it educates, it keeps kids off the street. We also need to agree that our talented artists can be excellent ambassadors of Uganda – they can change the image of Uganda that remains to be known for its violent history and politics.

Our wish is to see Uganda as a community where arts are vibrant and alive, balancing between the more traditional forms of arts (Kiganda dance, entoogoro etc.) and the emerging creative industries. To become recognised as a creative nation and to develop the full potential of arts as a contributing factor to positive change requires a certain level of support to our creative arts industry.") Most of this information was courtesy of the Bayimba Team.

Panellists included:

Steven Rwangyezi – Ndere Cultural Centre

Emily Drani – Cross Cultural Foundation

Mark Kaheru – UTL

Ms. Kuruhiira – Commissioner for Culture and Family Affairs

Memoirs of a Cartoonist (plus What is Happiness?)

On Thursday 7th May 2009, I will be marking exactly two years since my editorial cartoons (with the copyright 'Aiko' moniker) started being published on page 4, then 6 of 'The Standard', Uganda Christian University's community newspaper. It was an honour to be part of a dream come true even though it came with its ups and downs, glories and humiliations. Many readers either abhorred or loved my cartoons. I do not know much about the half way house but I will start with criticisms before I come to the good parts later.

Some lady once shouted that I was dry - I do not know if she was referring to my humour, pockets or something else but after that shell I tried to make my pieces more colourful and easy on the eye. Then a campus girl doubted, 'Taja kumalako' meaning 'He will not finish' in Luganda. I wish she could eat those words and tell me how they taste...It's all about GOD's grace now, I literally made it through two years - contract term for UCU staff - even if some pieces were below my personal benchmark and only two issues lacked my toons during this period - one drawn by comics artist Christian Mafigiri and a Grad' issue that lacked a cartoon. It's not how hard you push along the way but having something in you to finish. Other criticisms included 'plastic...unoriginal...rigid...wordy...too detailed' and so on.

When the 4th issue of Volume One came out 18th June 2007, Edmund K.(the management accountant) commented that the toons were 'still not yet funny' but when he saw a Chogm toon published later in Issue 15 on 19th November 2007, he was happy. It featured M7 and Queen Elizabeth touring UCU in a limo. My 3rd and 4th sisters wanted to show it to their workmates; maybe it was that good. The toon I dislike most is in Volume One, Issue 6 featuring two boys reading a notice banning 'buveera' - polythene bags - on campus, it was rushingly done and shows waist-up characters. I believe there is always room for improvement so I never let failure, criticism or correction make me walk with depression. People encouraged me (which was very positive). New Vision editorial cartoonist Mr. Ras taught me that combo pens are more professional even if I still find my preferred BIC pens produce darker shades without smudges. What I need to learn is how to use combos which I never liked during school, that's how it is. He also introduced me to ivory paper which stores your work for ages. Danny Barongo commonly known as B.Danny or BD, my favourite Ugandan illustrator told me not to let another artist criticise my style because it is "not bad". Wow, imagine someone you admire telling you that! Kisangala Onghwens suggested my name as an Illustrator for the Human Rights series to his employers at The Independent Weekly Newspaper (Published in Magazine form like The Economist of UK) but it ended before my style was approved but I took it as a lesson. I also got the chance to meet the revolutionary and fearless journalist Andrew Mwenda and his fellow chief Charles O. Bichacho. I cannot exhaust the names of all my motivators. Most Importantly though, Wanyama Wangah - The Standard's very experienced production manager, the man who can walk on water as the proprietor of Bob FM said, told me he chased away another guy who brought his pieces for evaluation. It is Wanyama who also recommended me to The New Vision and if I ever make it there or elsewhere, I dedicate my career to him. He was my lecturer during my UCU career (2003 - 6) and taught (Advanced) Editing in my final two years. I enjoyed his lectures because he was very laid back and usually brought us England’s best newspapers to study during his lessons. That was when everybody in our Mass Communication class had to study editing but I guess the rest remember him for dummys and editing tricks. Then when a few of us specialised in print journalism (while others did either public relations or radio and tv production) in our final year, I will never forget him for two special things. He introduced me to QuarkExpress, the fantastic newspaper editing software used at New Vision plus international media houses that makes editing fun and secondly we studied in an air conditioned classroom - the Linux room at Technology Park using the latest Acer computers while other scholars were using old makes. Even some of the I.T. Students never got to use this room which was amazingly in their department. How posh, I had never studied in an air conditioned classroom all my life yet nursery schools in Nigeria have air conditioning. Wow, there must have been a gap between us. Special thanks also go to my workmates - the unflinching editors - all of whom I have drawn - from the four pioneers to the two replacements. I used to keep inspirational articles written by Emma Wafula, the Lifestyle Editor (daughter of the Uganda Clays mogul) without knowing that one day I would work with her in the same newspaper. I did not even know her. Wow, she was a year behind us but topped her Class of 2004-7, another lady on top just like Adeline K. in our year.

When our 2nd issue came out - 21 May 2007, a Mass Comm finalist in a red blouse and khaki jeans blubbered on how she wanted us to focus on the current national issues like the Mabira saga. She told John that she couldn't waste money on buying the campus paper despite the crisp printing done at New Vision. In fact the only thing that amused her was my cartoon, 'I wonder what the scholar (in the toon) was downloading.' Another added that it also made her laugh. So John introduced me to them which was kinda sweet, you know; didn't blush though. Another girl told me that GOD had revealed to her that she would marry me, ooops! Maybe she was just stepping on my toe, but the irony is: I admired her too!

By the way, Thomas Froese the Canadian coordinator of The Standard chose me because my pieces were 'more modern' than those of two other applicants evaluated in April 2007. I had shown him a collection I started making around October 2006, two months after graduation. He advised, "A good cartoon must tell the whole story with as few writings as possible. It's even better if it makes a point without a caption. To be a good cartoonist, you must know how to marry skilful illustration with news analysis..." Also, if it hadn't been for Frank Obonyo, the first sports editor who informed me, I might not have known much about this opportunity to live a dream early on.

Brian "Windman" Semujju, the Managing Editor and John Mary Semakula, Campus Life Editor were also motivating old classmates. The former actually told me that "We should thank GOD for this pain because other people may wish to be in our place..." Now that's a lifeline. John was always a natural leader to me, I can follow him anywhere...

What is Happiness?

Define Happiness! Is it a Drug or Food, Popularity, Love, Money, Cars, Movies, Wealth and Long Life? All these Things symbolise it but what is Happiness really? Why do Rich and admired People commit Suicide, weren’t they happy according to worldly Standards? If they also kill themselves, then Happiness must be deeper than what we see on the Surface. Maybe true Happiness is what the Scriptures refer to as the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) or the Joy of the Lord and it is only Skin-deep. Walt Disney once said, ''Happiness is a State of Mind...'' That’s Real Talk by far; it’s like Happiness is simply how you think about whatever happens to you. To People watching you, being fired from your Job is Misery but to the Happy (Wo)Man, Retrenchment and Unemployment might simply translate as Freedom to find a better Job or be your own Boss, it’s an Escape from being someone else’s corporate Slave. It’s all about how you look at it. Missing a Free Ride is surviving an Accident, pay for Public Transport! Breakups give you another Chance for True Love in the right Arms. Spilling your Milk even though unwittingly might save you from a contaminated or poisoned Drink; do not cry, get up, go out and get more or drink Water! Failure might just be a Wake up Call that you have to work harder and pray ceaselessly to get exactly what you covet and desire; after all, most of what you need is already provided by GOD’s Grace: Oxygen, Safety, etc. Don’t forget to thank GOD every Moment! Misplacing a particular Item gives you Room to get something bigger or more long-lasting. My Mother named me “Ayikobua” in 1984 after losing her Father the preceding Year. She also had some Troubles, so the Name was fitting. It literally means “Happiness is in Heaven (the Sky) or the Grave, depending on where you look for it. There is basically no Happiness on Earth, however much you pursue it. This name haunts me like a Jinx but I’m glad my Father also told me to drop the Letter ‘Y’ giving the Name a whole new Meaning even though it may not seem that Way. I’m literally searching for the Salt I do not have which is the Reality anyway, I’m fine with that. It gives me Purpose in everything I do. I need not worry about Happiness; GOD is closer to me than the Blood in my Veins, HE’s greater than Happiness!

Why the Birds Sing to Me...

“Do you know why the birds sing to me? It’s because they are comforting me. It’s because they are telling me that I should never forget what love is or who I am.” When birds sing to me, they sound like Blu*3 (3 Black Ladies of Uganda - the only surviving group among the three East African countries ever since the Coca Cola Popstars 2003) in their song "Where U Are" featuring song maestros Mozey Radio and Weasel, Jose Chameleone's brother.

This mid March, the Community Musical Theatre Project for Northern Uganda presents a musical drama production. Set during wartime northern Uganda, 'Why the Birds Sing to Me' depicts the story of the children who were abducted and returned to their communities in northern Uganda during the 20 years of the LRA Guerilla War.

The drama features the story of a young girl who was abducted and a young boy who, in friendship, follows her deep into the world of the LRA. Their story weaves tragedy, love, hatred, betrayal, hope and redemption. The story brings broader messages, expressing the community’s great need for holistic reconstruction and reconciliation, for the prevention of violence against children, and the promotion of human rights. The story is for all Ugandans (and the world), to impart a sense of accomplishment while inspiring a wellspring of hope for the future. Let's Clap with Gulu!

Tickets are available at the National Theatre Box Office; For the opening day on Wednesday 18th March 2009 at 7.30 PM, they will cost 8,000 UgShs each (about 4 US Dollars) but 12,000 UgShs (about 6 US Dollars) on the other three nights up to Saturday 21st March 2009. For more information, contact Arfaan Ahmed (+256) 752624251, Flora Aduk (+256) 712874023 or Jeffrey W. Harrison (Project Coordinator/Musical Director/Composer) (+256) 774423274

These performances are proudly sponsored and supported by KADS - Kampala Amateur Dramatics Society, the Embassy of Ireland and the United Nations OHCHR. Traditional instrumentalist Joseph Odongkara from Gulu will join Jeffrey to round out this truly inspirational performance. Enjoy the performance.

More music by JWH can be heard here: http://web.mac.com/jeffreywharrison/iWeb/Site%202/Welcome.html

Jesus (had and) still has Swag

He had 12, 72 or more bodyguards, one of whom pulled out a knife and cut off an enemy's ear. He transformed a young boy's lunch into a luncheon for thousands. He walked on water, healed lepers, limpers, a woman with a 12-year blood problem plus blind men and calmed a storm with three words. He exorcised a Legion of demons that begged for mercy (He must be the Destroyer of Demons). At a wedding in Cana, he created the finest wine for the lucky couple, his first miracle in a Big Circle of Friends. Whom are we talking about? No one but Jesus, aka Isa, Yesu, Yeshua, Christus, etc. He's the Lord! Even Prophet Muhammad recited in the Quran that he is Al-Masih (the Messiah) and he'll be back soon. In the first Battle of the End in which Pagan Nations are destroyed (according to Revelation 19: 15), Jesus will return and strike with a sharp sword from his mouth. Man, neither the X-Men's Deadpool, Zorro, Samurai X, Paseus (in Clash Of The Titans), Leonidas (King of the 300 Spartan Warriors), Peter Pan, Van Helsing nor Weapon X en so on can compare. For real, Jesus Christ deserves more Honour than any Comic Book (Super) Hero! He's a Superstar! Won't He be more marvelous than Superman when He returns one day? This is electrifying Stuff! Lord, remember us when you return as the Rider on the White Horse...

Below are some of the life transforming teachings I managed to grasp during Andrew Wommack's Ministers' Conference at Serena Hotel Kampala's Victoria Hall on Saturday 18th July 2009. Before he came, his TV shows, books and internet articles had emphasized to me a truth I have been exploring for about a dozen years now, "Hypocrites (Religious Pharisees) can also be mistaken to be Saints." I actually wrote a short story entitled "The Wrong Train" exploring this topic inspired by my own new life and a storyline from a nightmare I had seen close to the end of the previous millenium while studying at St. Mary's College Kisubi (1997 to 2000). Believe me, Hypocrites rot in the Lowest Part of Hell; we preach one thing and then live another. Why? It's because we are still human. Our bodies still have sin in them, but the decay varies in different people depending on whether you listen more to GOD's Holy Spirit or the Devil's demons. Sometimes I feel our righteousness (even if not pretended) is like torn very ancient rags compared to GOD's exquisite and flawless designer fashion." Never put faith in your own works; only Jesus can save us. Galatians 2: 20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of GOD, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Andrew taught, "Jesus is like the epitome of worth. His value is as great as the whole universe, so when GOD sends him to die for all of us, we should be proud that we are worth all of that. This joy and pride can even make a statue shout. (Talk of stones praising His name if we human beings don't). It's good to fear GOD but even better to love HIM. Love makes you live a holy life as if by accident. You become prone to holiness. When you accept Christ, your spirit becomes like His - You are righteous even though your mind and body are different. The flesh will repeatedly wrestle against the spirit but that's a No Contest as long as you never commit the one sin that will take people to hell which is rejecting John 16: 9 (Of sin, because they do not believe in Me;). Jesus bought salvation for our souls, so live free. Tithe in order to get more money to tithe. When you tithe, everything is provided to you supernaturally. (What you need to do is get rid of the worry that if you tithe even the last Shilling banknote you have, you will have nothing left! GOD provides in mysterious ways.) We are all on the same level, there is no need for cloaks and collars to differentiate the clergy from the laity. We are all ministers, equal at the foot of the cross. There is nothing like there are some who know GOD more. Before Christianity went to Mexico, they had a big temple built for a GOD who appeared in three different forms, the same happened in Vietnam. We are supposed to pray the LORD's Prayer, not recite it like religious fanatics do. Every culture has an in built sense of GOD and the conscience to differentiate between what is right and what is ungodly or (un-GODlike). The latter is punishable, so must always be avoided. I cannot commit adultery at the moment however much you tempt me because I love GOD and my Wife. Thieves do not have love for their victims, prostitutes do not love their clients nor themselves."

Before a two hour lunch break, Andrew thanked a number of people who helped in the operations in his ministry. One of them, Leland Shores who manages Andrew Wommack's Bookshop at Shop 39 Cham Towers (Former UCB Main Building) on Kampala Road revealed that after the previous evening's conference, while returning to his rest place, Andrew commented that among all the nations in the world he had been to, the people of Uganda understood his message fastest even though it took Andrew about two decades to figure out what he preached to Ugandans during his conference. I used to watch Andrew's TV show almost regularly ever since I learnt, close to the end of 2008, that it shows on LTV. Why did it take this long for me to notice? GOD forgive me!

Andrew preaches about exactly the same thing I have been trying to figure out ever since I accepted Jesus into my rotten heart (1997) and then had a demon of 'Pretended Holiness (Hypocrisy)' cast out of me (2000). I learnt a lot from Andrew during 2009 and even bought a book entitled "A Better Way to Pray". The conference was also very eye opening, the thoughts were clear and liberating. He confessed, "I am a plain preacher, I do not shout and show theatrics because I am promoting Jesus not myself. I have kept myself holy and avoided sin so that I can set other people free. Sin is not just breaking a commandment but also failing to do what you know is the right thing to do. Religion has made people compromise with so many Bible truths, but it does not mean we follow the rules to the nail and become robots (like the ones in Will Smith's film entitled 'iRobot').

In conclusion, Andrew Wommack said, "GOD has given us mercy through Jesus Christ but we should not take that as a license to continue sinning. You can even self destruct if the Devil implants his religious doctrines into your mind and goes on vacation. What you need to know is that the righteous things you do cannot save you, only Jesus can save you. So when you sin, GOD forbid, He is the Holy Grace to save you."

Andrew gave away some of his books and recommended that people read the one about "Self Centredness". Joyce Meyer actually ordered for 100 copies and gave to her ministry team. When you sow the word in people, it germinates eventually.

From Dust to Dust

Even if he is not smoked out from Garamba by the combined forces, Joseph Kony - the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) rebel leader - will go down one day. He is not a cyborg to remain invincible. Every man must one day come face to face with the Angel of Death, Mephistopheles himself [In Buganda, don't they call him something like "Kwejumbira"?] Okay, that doesn't scare him but the ICC (International Criminal Court) wants his head and so do some Ugandans who suffered in the hands of his murderous tormentors. Forget that hullabaloo of reconciliation, if he keeps abducting and killing innocent civilians (in the name of fighting UPDF yet actually he is sacrificing blood to his demonic gods), then the only way for him and his cronies is to go down by the gun.

About four years ago, I saw a dream in which four planes flew from West Nile and bombed his base somewhere in a forest area. It might not happen soon but even Adam who lived for over 900 years went back to dust where he came from. After Noah's Flood, GOD would not allow humans to live for more than 120 years (even if some people have done so like Enoch, Elijah and the guy who pierced Jesus's side on the cross. I hear he is still alive. Even Noah who was 600 during the Flood season lived on to 950 years). All the soldiers, wives and concubines Kony has won't protect him from the dust. I would recommend that the rebel leader watches the movie "City of GOD" and its 2008 sequel (sort of since the director is the same) entitled "Elite Squad". You live by the gun, you die by the gun...but I know he might want to stop (as told by one of the rescued slave-wives). Can we end the war please before someone gets knocked out?

CHOGM hurt but also Organised Me…

CHOGM to me is a word in motion and it represents the way in which the Commonwealth Meeting Came, Hurt, Organized, Globalised and Marketed the City of Impalas. Personally, lack of access to the millions of publicity money did not mean that I didn’t experience what the hype was all about.

I could not shake the Queen’s hand (failed to reach my uncle’s wish for me) nor publish a brochure for the Commonwealth Delegates (because dealing with the Ministry of Foreign Affairs was shifty) nor have one of my Artworks printed in a booklet for the Commonwealth Women’s Conference (I was informed too late) but in consolation painted a 5.5 by 7.5 metre backdrop of the “Kampala Skyline” as seen from Kololo Airstrip [Photo taken by myself even after a Policeman advised me to get a letter first but I didn’t] for KADS (Kampala Amateur Dramatics Society). They were going to use it for a Christmas pantomime about CHOGM beginning Wednesday 5th December 2007, about 10 days after CHOGM. I started working on it a few weeks before the historical event but two days before the meeting when I had gone to add more on the art piece at the Uganda National Cultural Centre, a Security Guard stopped me at the gate simply because I lacked the special CHOGM Identification Card. Can you imagine I got this assignment after the deadline for applying for IDs had passed but the watchman at the gate couldn’t allow me to enter even if an insider (employee) from National Theatre who had entered without a card could speak for me? Earlier I had tried to sneak in but was spotted and told to use the main gate. After this humiliation, I was so ANNOYED for being mistrusted and treated like a criminal in my own capital just because of a group of 54 earthlings who breathe the same air I breathe, eat the same food I eat (maybe just cooked differently plus priced highly) and can fall sick like I do that I switched off. I walked away furiously to board a taxi adjacent to the Social Securities Building on Jinja Road and went to Mukono in order to forget about uncool Kampala and the animalistic treatment I had just got. I could have designed those IDs myself and walked in like a sniper if I wanted but chose not to because I respect Her Royal Highness. Instead, going out of the city in anger was far better because I got a sharper and more expressive image of Kampala at the Mukono Media Bureau for the backdrop I was working on.

After CHOGM, it was back to painting and I did not want to hear anything about the queen from any security personnel since she had left. I do not hate Princess Diana’s Mother-in-Law; actually I treat myself as her loyal subordinate (even if I don’t pay ceremonious homage to her, afterall West Nile where my ancestors come from was originally Belgian Territory though I was born in British Territory) but I hate the way locals felt big and more equal unnecessarily. What security threat did a mere worker like me minding his own business pose to someone he honoured? If I believe that Hellen Mirren’s immaculate performance depicting Elizabeth in the movie “Queen” deserved its Oscar and my lovely mother is also called Elizabeth (I actually nicknamed her “Queen Mother”), then Aiko meets the equal. I had my own excuses to HATE on these Ugandans with a Passion…

(The Best of) Irene Manjeri Quotes

I spent the first Decade of my Life (January 1984 to May 1995) mainly in Jinja and got to hear about a lucky Lady from around there who went to Heaven while she was young. She visited my Primary School (Victoria Nile School) one day and ever since then, I have never lost Interest in what she has to tell simply because she has "met Jesus before" and been to a Place where every Human Being who has ever lived hopes to dwell eternally. Growing up as an Anglican, then Muslim (2002), I used to be very skeptical about People with such Stories and Powers. One day in 2009, I attended one of her Namirembe Road Services and got an Oil Blessing from her Hand. Having tithed only 2,000 UgX, I was telephoned exactly two Weeks later for Work worth over 1 Million. Below are some of her unforgettable Quotes I compiled from Impact FM, LTV and Pride Theatre Fellowships. Be blessed:

“Don’t glorify the Problems in your Life but GOD’s Power to remove them…”

“Slow-cooked Barbecue is what is sweet; GOD’s Delays are not Denials, so do not rush Things…”

“Be what GOD wants you to be…”

“People didn’t create me, so I jump off their Weighing Scales…”

“Why do you plead with Demons, rebuke the Demon of Poverty! Thank GOD that you were sick and got healed…”

“Your Problems have a Time Limit…”

“GOD, give us a Spirit of Wisdom…”

“Girls, you are worth more than the few Dollars in Kampala City. A Sugar Daddy may buy for you a Dress and you think it is Love yet he buys them for many other Women…”

“No matter which Hotel am in, I keep praying. I’m not a Business Person, I’m a Servant of GOD…”

“The Cure for Poverty is not only Praying but also Giving…”

“Your Misery is your Ministry…”

“A Cemetery is the Richest Place on Earth because of unfulfilled Dreams of People killed by Drunkenness. Those were the Obamas of tomorrow…”

“There is No Free Money in the Streets of Germany, London and US; you have to work for it. GOD wants to give it to you…”

“Do not mistake my Confidence for Arrogance; my Power is from above. GOD fights for me…”

“Your Mouth blocks your Progress…”

“Satan cannot close a Door he did not open…”

“Ba Yuda eat with you now but talk ill behind your back. Some Preachers are like that, their Bornagainness only stops at the Pulpit but they are very abusive and irritable elsewhere. Using Knowledge gained from a previous Life of Witchcraft, they instill Fear in the Minds of Rich Guys trying to force them to pay exorbitant Tithes…”

“Keep your Traitors next to you and give them Chapatti. Don’t shout with Ba Yuda! GOD raises you while HE puts them down. When a Woman used Perfume on Jesus, Judas suggested they should have sold it to give Money to Paupers. But he wanted it for himself…”

“A Snake is a Snake; kill the Words that take you behind! They come in the Form of Friends before they destroy your World, Home and Business feeding other People with Bad Thoughts about you. The Spirit of Hypocrisy is very demonic and has a Snake-like Heart. Even if you give them a Car, they won’t appreciate and will talk bad about you. Saul couldn’t recognize David’s Miracle of killing Goliath which he failed to do for many Years; he wanted to kill David. However much you love a Snake, it will someday bite you. The People you help will either appreciate or continue hating you: O GOD, let me love YOU with all my Heart..."

“Remain in the Presence of GOD; you are about to reap what you have never seen…”

“Those People who laugh at you because you sell Fish in Sudan will have No Jobs while you have yours…”

“Even the Acholi are beautiful; many Miss Ugandas have come from there…”

“Say: I will kill the Goliath of Poverty…”

“With the ‘Lutwe’ (Spirit of Rejection) on you, even the Person you win will despise you, like if you give 500 UgX to a ‘Maskini’ (Slim Person) on the Street, he will appreciate the one who gives him 200 UgX instead…”

“You might be barren in Money Matters but GOD will release you and make you produce very powerful Things. A Man’s Wisdom stops somewhere but GOD’s Things last forever…”

“Change your Opportunities into Blessings! Even the Pharisees and Sadducees fasted and prayed but their Hearts were far from GOD…”

“When you get Problems yet you are Jesus’ Friend, He will not leave you in them. You become a Friend of Jesus when you are born again. GOD will not make you rich in five Years, HE means today…”

“Today, your Debtors will pay you; the Devil will leave you…”

“People see us today flying outside the Country regularly but they do not know where we came from. We had to pray hard while People laughed at us but GOD showed up for us, now we drive different Cars. Even if someone bought a Car at 150 Million UGX and rents a House in Kololo worth many Dollars per Month, I still don’t see why I should fear them yet they could have built their own. Instead of living within their Means, they probably borrowed Bank Loans to show off…”

“I refuse to die before my Time but will live to declare the Works of GOD…”

“Bethel Healing Centre is being built slowly because we want the Concrete to dry. A big House is not built in one Day like a Muzigo. It’s not bad that I do not have a House nor drive a posh Car. Don’t speak too much, Spirit of ‘Kunyomoza’ (Scorn)! Never allow your Goliath to leave before you undress or uncover them. I have ‘Mitayimbwa’ (steel Rods) in me. I wear a ‘conc(rete)’ Blessing. I will not sit on the ‘Ntoli’ of Satan but do what GOD has told me to do…”

“GOD will not let you be broken; the ones who fight you will break. Satan will bring you ‘Bayaye’ (Conmen) who will say, ‘Pastor Manjeri, be careful, this Village is full of Witches!’ I’m also full of Power; the Might of GOD burns Witches…”

“GOD has ordered that you are moving out of Poverty. You need a Bigger Blessing, not about laughing for two Days and you are back to Sadness…”

“The Gospel that delivers you is a practical Course, not good Preaching…”

“Don’t mourn, celebrate with the good Friends…”

“A Ruth cannot easily be found among worldly Friends but the Church continues without them, i.e. good Singers, etc…”

“A Lady, who was about to commit Suicide just before I left to the US, had a Dream that I was going to unlock her Blessings through Prayer. When she awoke, the Cup which contained her Poison tipped over. She came for our Lunch-time Fellowship…”

“Don’t judge People without looking at their Background…”

“We went through Hell to get where we are, so no one can break us. I’m not easily broken. I’m going to concentrate on what GOD called me to do…”

“Women fear to look People in the Eye but I was called to preach by GOD’s Power. I was born in Poverty, the Back Seat but now I sit in Planes while those who were born in Kampala and studied at Makerere use taxis, the Front Seats of Taxis…”

“Some of you will never be called ‘Beautiful’ unless you call yourself the same…”

“The Anointing of Oil will heal your Illness. We are celebrating what GOD has done, not Problems and Reports of Negativity. I release the Oil that brings Dollars, Pounds and Euros…”

[Irene’s 43rd Birthday on Tuesday 28th May 2013:] “When Disaster follows your Testimony, GOD says, ‘Get ready for a bigger one!’ Saul’s murderous Enmity followed David’s Testimony of killing Goliath but later David replaced him as King…”

“(Acceptance Syndrome) If you work hard to be accepted by everyone, you might never accomplish Things in this World…”

“A very small Thing can save your Marriage; Men work with Women! The Grass is greener on the other Side until you find out the Problem there…”

“Don’t cry, GOD has already heard you even before you pray…”

“Staying in a beautiful City doesn’t mean you have Money. People want to go to America but if you do not work, you will have Problems. Americans have Tricks, they will give you a Car through Lending or Leasing but, Trading it in will be your Issue because of the mechanical Problems it will get…”

“Demons despise Bornagains who do not know how to pray but fear those who do…”

“There are People who earn 20,000 UgX a Month; you can see it in their Tithe. We are not here to collect Money and even if we do not look for it, GOD will bring it…”

“There is someone who came to me from another Church and wanted to serve, telling us the Reason why they left their so-called ‘Prophet’. In that other Church, the Pastor drives flashy Cars but there is No GOD in them. He sends his People to Rich Men to tell them to come with 50,000 UGX and so on…”

“Not all Pastors are in for the right Reasons. Some just want to do Business. If you look at their Past, you will notice a Record of unGODly Stuff. They may dress in Suits and Coats but the Things they say are only meant to scare People and force them to tithe. I do not need your Money so that I can buy fried Chicken. I have been eating that since the 1980s in America. When you tithe, I expect GOD to reward you back because you are sowing into HIS Kingdom…”

“Someone once told me that he fears me because I’m so faithful to my Husband (Mr. [Salongo] Vincent Katongole) yet the Wives of these Days cheat…”

“GOD brought me up. I’m always praying, while driving and everywhere. I do not have Time to yap and gossip. I’m beyond the Days of Crying. Only Thing that can make me cry is GOD’s Blessings, maybe when I get my own Plane…”

“I do not fear Anything because the Lion of Judah is within me…”

“The Time I see Boys and Girls who were laughed at getting married in respectable Ceremonies, I’m happy…”

“You pray at Prayer Mountain but have No Faith. Ignore People who speak inspired by Demons like some will say that you give in a lot so that the Pastor can see you…”

“Your Problem is the Opportunity for GOD to lift you up. Don’t abuse yourself…”

“Some of you are a Victim of what others say or think; is everything good on their Side? Why do you give them Credit they do not deserve? Worship GOD and think only of what HE does. GOD has more Power than your Problems. The Goliaths today are Nothing tomorrow. The Blessings of GOD are permanent, I refuse to fail. I’m blessed to remain blessed…”

Do the Dew, Busaana Modern-style!

Busaana Modern Academy is a Mixed Day Senior Secondary School in Bugerere (Central Uganda), the first Private School in its County Area. Located on Plot 13 Kireku Road, the Campus is about 500 Metres from Busaana Taxi Park. It is a USE (Universal Secondary Education) School licensed by Ministry of Education and Sports (Uganda). Post Letters to Box 18122 Kayunga, Uganda or Box 12674 Kampala, Uganda. With the Motto "Aim At Success!", BMA molds Students through only Ordinary Level (Senior 1 to 4) but with enough Arts and Science Skills to build their Future and move Mountains wherever they end up, whether in Advanced School, Employment or as Entrepreneurs. The Uniform is white Shirts/ Blouses and forest green Trousers/ Skirts. Support Busaana Modern and let its Sunlight of Education shine bright, it won't stop!

... An Indian in State House Entebbe?

“Blimey, Yes We Can…” could also become a slogan for Indian Ugandans. Now that Obama is the first Black American in the White House, I think it might just be the opening of a door for the Patels in the Pearl of Africa to dream about taking over State House. Who said an Indian should not become Ugandan President or join Parliament? One of the Speakers in Parliament's History was a South Asian, right? How about this Indian parliamentarian from the East of Ug and Katongole Singh? More are coming up.

Sometimes I wish Amin had not chased them away (despite the economic threat they posed), they would have had better chances probably. Every human must have equal rights, first were the women, then blacks and next foreigners in Africa will have their chance. I have no problem seeing Indians prosper in my home country Uganda. As long as I can enjoy their success without being patronized, I’m okay with that. The only thing I object to are their multiple gods, that’s all. Otherwise East Africans should also beware ‘coz if the EAC federation comes through, then ‘Why Not?’. Imagine an Indian ruling Obama’s ancestral region ...

November is Grasshopper Month

While growing up in Jinja (Busogaland), one of the best moments of my childhood was chasing the seasonal delicacies called nsenene (Luganda for Grasshoppers). When the season came, I would spend days and nights chasing the insects from around my neighbourhood to unknown territories. When I came to Kampala permanently around 1995, I continued with the nsenenexcitement.

At St. Mary’s College Kisubi (1997 - 2000), grasshoppers usually migrated while we were at school. That was when I noticed the trend that it usually happens in November. The month always found me in boarding school so one time, the SMACK secretary told me and a classmate named Mukasa to catch for him as many as possible since he had a big family. We obliged and he fried some for us in appreciation. But since Mukasa had suddenly gone (away from school to try and link up with his parents in UK), I received his perishable share which I savoured during evening tea.

Tribute to my 4 Grandparents

Within the same fortnight Barack Obama lost his white grandmother, I also lost my last grandparent, the mother of my mother. Something great should also happen in my life now that the Blackman is in the white house. I got an SMS from my third sister on Wednesday morning (22nd October 2008) that Wupa had passed away but tried not to cry because I was attending a COMESA Forum in Kasese and did not want to look all too sorrowful among the delegates. However when my father called me during the tea break, tears just flowed naturally though I did not cry. Big boys must not cry, but can shade tears. Seasoned UG journalist Joachim Buwembo was also on his phone talking about how some lady stole info from his computer after allowing her to use it. I told my dad that there was nothing I could do about the tragedy and he replied that it was okay. I could not even call to console my mum up to the time I got back to my room in the night. There was just too much intellectual work to be done and I shouldn’t have let sorrow ruin my composure. Mum also told me not to mind; I would just go to pay my respects later on in Aliba, Ayivu County where she was buried near her home. Otherwise, she had been sick for some time.

Four years before that (on 3rd December 2004), my father’s mother named ‘Ita’ (Lugbara for Esther) passed away. I was still at UCU Mukono University then but got the information only by reading my big brother’s email five days later. No one informed me because they thought I could not handle the pain but I took it well. Actually, I only shaded tears and didn’t wail while trekking towards town on Bishop Tucker Drive after reading the email at Technology Park in the night. It was the examination week and I dedicated my very last papers to her.

As for my grandfathers, they both died before I was born. The only memories I have of my maternal grandpa Onesimus (Reverand Onesemu A. Banito Inima) [1919 to 13th May 1983] are stories narrated by my relatives and also the books he left behind with his signatures. He is buried at St. John's Church Ajara.

The 2008 Pammys

I wasn’t among the gathering at Shimoni on Saturday 1st November 2008 but got a glimpse of the rhythmic action live on WBS TV where quality matters. It was my first time to watch the PAM - Pearl of Africa Music - Awards live on telly and Gordon Wavamunno, the godfather of Ugandan entrepreneurship was on screen to bless the telecast before it started. The colour and contrast quality might have been less sharp but I have to admit that the ceremony was well organized. My favourite artiste Bebe Cool (Actually Wavah also confessed that he was his favourite) scooped three awards (Best Reggae, Ragga and Male Artiste of the Year) after 9 nominations (The next artiste had only 5).

The soulful song “Zuena” (which won Best New Act) is personally My Song of the Year (simply because that is the name of Bebe’s beautiful wife. People talked en talked saying the singer Mozey had beef against my main man in composing it). Radio’s other track entitled “Nakudata” with Chameleone’s kid bro Weasel won the Best Song Pammy and used to be my favourite when still fresh but on this night I wanted “Kuss Kuss” to take it since they were thrown in the same category. I first heard Bebe’s hit while working on a Maisha short film in August 2008 and was totally blown away by the exciting spirit in it. For sure, “Bebe Cool munene munene (Big is big)...” Daniel Arap Moi’s reading of the news headlines from Shimoni seemed out of place but was good for the humour it provided as the sleek talking Mitch and pompous J. Kazoora emceed.

The inaugural Best West Nile Artiste Award went to Dogman, not bad since he has been around hustling for quite some time (even in the Best Northern Artiste Category now reserved for only Acholi, Langi, Karimojong plus Teso Regions). Airplay for his music in the capital (mainly on UBC TV) seems to outweigh J.M. Kennedy’s (played on KFM) but I hoped the latter could win it because he is my preference and sings in high Lugbara. Despite all that though, I was very pleased to see Black Harmony chosen to perform on the 2008 Bell Lager PAM Award stage ushering in a new dawn for West Nile music. They came along with funky queen dancers wearing shorts and a lady singing a Luganda hook. The duo from Arua had verses in Lugbara (and a little English I guess).

Overall, the show sizzled … Isaac Mulindwa (the Brains behind the Awards) sat next to the Chief Guest Queen Sylvia Naginda (of Buganda) and so was the King for the Night. New comer Toniks who had a really compelling duet ‘Beera Nange’ (Probably took some anointing oil from Judith Babirye’s Gospel track with the same name) won a well deserved award. Pastor Wilson Bugembe meanwhile performed that night and received his accolade for ‘Best Gospel’ which Judith had rejected the previous year for his song ‘Komawo Eka’ whose video features local entertainers such as Bobi Wine and the Amarula Family. Best Artistes from all the other East African countries were also awarded making PAM a really big thing.

Juliana Kanyomozi (who looked beautiful like Halle Berry in a leopard-print dress) was the highlight of the Year and won the Most Important Nod to become the first woman in six years to clinch the “Artiste of the Year” Pammy beating ‘Mazzi Mawaanvu’ that is His Excellency the Ghetto President and ‘Mr. Munene’. I’m not a big fan of hers but she did wonders in the duet entitled “Sirinayo Omulala” (“I Don’t Have Another Lover”) with Sweet Kid.

Do you agree with the controversial reggae hit below also performed on the night: “Njagala kugenda ko Juba…mpulira Uganda entamiye, ejude nugu.” (“I want to go to Juba…I feel I’m tired of Uganda, it’s full of jealousy.”)? Well, personally, jealousy or less of it, Uganda’s music (plus maybe movie) industry, as Straka (WBS Late Show) said, could now be rated second only to Nigeria on the African continent. Don’t care what jealous haters say, play your role whether in music, film, business, agriculture, construction, politics, art, trade, tourism and so on! What I have discerned is that jealous people are just “the devil in disguise” trying to derail you from reaching your heaven-sent visions. Entertainment is now a well-designed business in Uganda and those who work hard at it will reap from it …

TitanVic (2008 Film)

TITAN-VIC, a film envisioned by mentor Don McKellor and brought to life by the 9 screenwriters during the 2008 Maisha Film Makers' Lab...Savour the quotes below during the refreshing cruise on Lake Victoria:

PATRICIA: “So this is the ship they say is unsinkable?”
DAVID: “We are going to America.”
PITHON: “I’m the King of the World…”
VINCHO: “Pithon, this is where we first met.”
JUDITH: “Iceberg, right ahead!”
EDWARD: “GOD Almighty, half the people on this ship are gonna die.”
ANGELA: “And GOD shall wipe away all the tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death.”

The film will go on and on ... MARK and RACHEAL were the production assistants.

The Voyage to Kasese

My pioneer voyage to Kasese ignited around 16:44 PM and ended midnight. I had travelled to Mukono during the morning of Monday 20th October 2008 to scan my Arua Boys Comic and send it to two individuals besides picking up the two copies of ‘The Standard’ newspaper I had missed but didn’t know what the day was going to bring. I managed to post the 5 pages to Talleah but while sending to Kristof, Martha Chemutai (my UCU Old Girl) phoned me around 10:30 AM to replace some dude called Jackson Gray Makkeni (who had a test paper on Tuesday at MUK) in covering a certain function. He had also replaced Martha in documenting a ‘Trading for Peace’ Forum for ‘International Alert’ in Kasese, Western Uganda between Monday 20th and Friday 24th October 2008.

I had talked quite freely that morning in the Standard Newsroom with Prever Mukasa (Lifestyle Editor) and Enoch Kassenyi (Sports Editor). John Semakula (Campus Life Editor) hadn’t come but my Managing Editor Brian Semujju was around to make me feel more comfortable. I honestly felt the spirit of that morning, it was calm and I wasn’t worried. Production Manager Wanyama Wangah had gone to teach and when he returned, Samuel Apedel came around looking for him. On seeing me, he asked Wanyama if I did not have the potential to become a good illustrator, “Wanyama is always a hard man to please; that’s why you should find out what he thinks.” Wanyama responded by saying that he had recommended me to David Mukholi, Sunday Vision Editor but the girl who was told to call me played science. Apedel added, “Today or yesterday, we had a meeting about this cartooning issue and concluded that it is like the work of a goalkeeper. However good you may be, you can still be benched. When Ras was given the job, he used to draw his own things...”

I waited till 11 AM for my comic art files to load the second time but they didn’t. So I just set off for Jumbo Plaza which I reached at exactly noon. Martha briefed me about the work and terms and by half past noon, I was setting off for home in Kyebando. The taxi delayed in the park but 1:04 PM found me opening the door. I packed clothes in Tina’s ‘Timberland’ bag and my own ‘Adventure’ Business bag before rushing to the Kyebando Taxi stage but there was only one woman waiting with me. It was now 2 PM, the time I had planned to set off to Kasese since Martha told me that it would take 5 hours to get there. I jumped on a boda and rode till Bukoto Market on the newly tarmacked link road (thanks to Government or Sudhir). Then I boarded a taxi to Kampala Road. While asking if it was going to the Old or New Park, the beautiful chick sitted on my right side suggested that I could hop on a different one from St. Andrews Stage. Unfortunately, I had no time to do that. Instead we jazzed until she dismounted around KPC. She told me she was doing Procurement at MUBS Nakawa after being sold by MUK. I also filled her in on the fact that I was usually at MTAC Campus Nakawa which they wanted to take over. She was visibly amused and I liked it ‘coz it’s a good feeling to see a beautiful woman chuckle under the weight of your cracks, talk of hilarious pick up lines though these weren’t pick up lines. I was too late for my voyage to a destination I had never visited before and had no time for womanizing. She was heading to her workplace at UTODA Martin Road (Deadline was 2.30 PM but she felt she couldn’t make it). I dismounted from Half London and walked till Kalita Buses. The 3 O’clock coach was leaving and the booking officer shifted to selling only Fort Portal tickets. I heard some guy also asking for a Kasese ticket and when all hope seemed lost, I asked him what we could do. He said we could catch one of the Link Buses.

So we walked to the Link Park yet that was the exact place where I had just ignored guys asking me if I was looking for a bus. We met a lady who took us to the Kasese-bound bus. She told the ticket master that the man beside me was a doctor she knew. On Saturday, I actually returned to Kampala with the same ticket master. The doctor gave me his ticket and I paid the 15,000 UgX. A fat woman sat next to me buying things like she was in a supermarket. She kept speaking to me in her language yet she could articulate English. Maybe she thought I also drink too much Ankole milk. So I pretended that I do since I got the gist of most of her utterances but didn’t utter many words in reply. There was traffic jam on Namirembe Road as we left the park and when Makkeni called, I told him that we hadn’t left the City of Impalas. We went up to Kampala Road traffic lights and he called again to assure me that he was going to leave some things (Documents) for me at the reception and had booked for me a room. We headed to Masaka Road and stopped to refuel at a petrol station where I noticed one of the managers I used to see at Shell Muyenga while painting Arshad’s Posh Pets Murals. Setting off from Gapco in the 5 O’Clock hour, we crossed the equator at exactly 6:20 PM. Guys behind me who had been talking about the richest musician in Uganda and other things turned to making fun of a place in Masaka where the main crime is sodomy and rape. We stopped somewhere to pee before driving full speed.

There were no problems on the way except maybe in Lyantonde when a trailer ahead of us failed to move forward in the muddy slope. We were blocked for several minutes but finally found a way. That’s the time I started communicating with Robinah Kajwenge (a Documentation Officer for ‘International Alert’ I was told to talk to). Passengers kept disembarking and by the time we reached Kasese, we were a handful. Martha had called me when we stopped in Mbarara, a wonderful place with picturesque architecture even if I viewed them in the dark. Rain started falling again when we reached Bushenyi and I told her I was close to my destination Kasese. I saw two hippos walking on the left side of the road, probably at a national park in Bushenyi. Julius called to confirm if I had finally arrived and I disappointed him again by saying ‘No’ but I finally smelt copper in the air and was glad to read KCCL on a gate. That stands for Kasese Cobalt Company Limited which meant that we had finally arrived. Thank GOD Kasese is well lighted and a bodaman helped me find Kasese Executive Inn Limited (Restaurant, Accommodation and Conference Hall) where a woman named Beatrice in her night gown gave me the key to Room 7, self contained with a TV in the corner. Unfortunately, I could mainly watch Sky News and occasionally G Prime, G Africa or G Sports. DStv could not be activated and the free channels like EATV and UBC had no signal. Kasese is actually hotter than I had imagined. Some nights I would throw away the heavy bed cover.

LORD have Mercy...

The Holy QURAN is just like the Old Testament and Forbidden Scriptures of the Bible rolled into one poetic Book. I strongly believe if people read it with an unbiased mind, they will discover amazing answers to some questions bothering them, I did too...