Stories

The Wrong Train

Three passengers on a Uganda Railways train trip to Mombasa miraculously escape from a merciless soulsucking monster named Onzi [Lugbara Translate: Bad]...

Ojapi

Have you seen that red beast that hides behind Mt. Liru? It only comes out after dusk and even lions are afraid of it. However, there is also a building where it is afraid to step into...

She Wore A Green Attire

Also entitled SWAGA, this is the electric story of Peace Asindriza (aka Pisi) and Samuel Andrew Mawa (SAM) plus the elusive Wolf who steals, kills and destroys; it's a modern Ugandan rendition of the European "Little Red Riding Hood" fable. Set in Arua (West Nile) during Twenty19, the wolfhunter falls in love with Green Hood...

Doctor Luke (Iron Grasshopper)

Depression is a choice! Pain is inevitable, the Devil's test is guaranteed, sadness will come but suffering is a decision. From Maracha to the rest of the world, Dr. Luke Ise heals people who are hurt. Are you feeling low and cursed? Is your heart damaged by the events (or negative moments) in your life: Cheating, Separation, Loss, Hate, Rejection, Lack, Failure, Hunger, Accident, Loneliness, Despair, Rebuke, Unemployment, Disappointment, Mockery, Grief, Hopelessness, Sickness, Poverty, Boredom, etc? Do you lack money? Are you ill with one of the 39 diseases? Then mindhop; turn to GOD: Be healed in the name of JESUS...

Arua Boys

Two homeboys - Digi (Musa Munguleni aka 22) and Lynx (John "Black" Draku) want to quit smuggling from DR Congo because of the ruthless URA Enforcement Division (2005) that has shot dead some of their fellow smugglers, but Lord Of Bangi (L.O.B.) known to them as Big Leaf whom they still owe money paid in advance wants his oil. Life is a beautiful struggle...

Love Consultants

Who do you ask for advice about love? Money cannot buy love but it improves the chances by 21 percent...

Ovakedo

Welcome to Anzi Amvu [Lugbara Translate: Children's Garden] in Vegetarua...

Investigation

A bicycle bodaman is investigated by jealous Police on suspicion of pedalling drugs simply because he rents a house worth 600,000 UgX per month and has a beautiful wife...

Arua Leopardman

Jaremy [Hebrew meaning "GOD will uplift"] is a suicide-prevention vigilante and fisherman who saves people from killing themselves: Depression is a choice. Nobody knows who his father is (Rumours claim his mother was raped); Oduo became born again and changed his name to Simon Odu [Leopardman] on Thursday 9th April 2026 from the one given by his dying mother's Nigerian midwife after she asked her what a leopard is in Lugbara (because of the unusual spots on her baby); he adopted the first name of his maternal uncle who brought him up. The older Simon used to fish in Madiland and sometimes took Odu with him before committing suicide by drowning in Lake Rokoze (Maracha). In his first suicide rescue, Leila (a mother of three by three different fathers) attempts to drown herself in River Enyau. In Episode 2, Maritini (12-year-old boy) almost hangs himself with a belt in the bathroom because his parents are too busy to check nor help him with school-given homework; he feels neglected. E3 is about Esita who cannot find school fees to complete Senior 6; she drinks poison. E4 features Idi who wants to burn himself inside his hut after being rejected by four women he loved. During Episode 5, Odu finds love in Sosa Aleru whom he saves from jumping off a four-storeyed building in Osu Village. E6 is about a student while E7 is about a mother. In E8, a farmer sees no way out and wants to consume pesticide while E9 is about a youth who thinks no one understands her. In E10, an elder feels like a burden. E11 features a suicide survivor sueing Odu in court for saving him yet he wants to depart from Earth while E12 is a failed rescue (Second in his vigilante career) after victim shoots himself through the mouth with his honourable father's pistol. E13 is the Rise of the Dog. E14 is about a couple planning to wed who attempt suicide after a man who owed the bride's father refuses to pay off a loan on which interest had accrued. E15 is about a South Sudanese campuser who tries to hang himself after losing his laptop. E16 is about a businessman who loses everything. E17 features a teen girl who feels ugly and worthless. E18 is about a hardworking teacher who sees no changes. E19 is on a jilted young man drowning his pain of rejection in alcohol while E20 is about an addict who uses syringes...

Kubaku

An egg-ceptional supershero from United Gombololas (UG) who studied with the Arua Leopardman at Muni Oasis; Fullname: Amina Kubakurungi...

Return of Legion

A Ugandan studying in Mexico is arrested by Federales after being spotted at a Sombrero Restaurant talking to a mysterious woman under investigation...

6:66 AM

Based on a True Story about an early morning encounter with the Devil...

My Green Island

What four items would you take if cast away or abandoned on a lonely island?

Dragon Man

Do you believe people who say that they have seen the Devil?

Mama Butunda

Her campus friends disown her because she sells passion fruits in the market...

Shield of Faith

My name is Paul. When we began, we were only three, but the Devil took two away from me (my daughter and then my wife). Now am going to hunt him down with my son... In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the Evil One (Ephesians 6:16)... (290423)

Americanese

A halfbreed foreigner donning a hat and walking in the hood while minding his own business is scrutinised by locals with plenty of curiosity; they half surround him trying to figure out if he's American or Chinese. He lights a cigar and walks back to the direction he came from...

Savana

Ama nga a'du nya; ama nga aa ngoa; ama nga a'du su? Ase; grass by grace... (221124)

Binman

When trash is thrown at you, sort it! Then break, burn or decompose...

[Written by Aiko for Arua Comics (2014-Now)]

Lugbara Artificial Intelligence

Lugbara AI

I was born in Jinja (1984) and grew up in KLA City (since 1995), so I learnt most of my first Lugbara vocabulary through my ears. It's after Y2K (Failed Doom's Day) when I first travelled by Nile Coach to Arua at 16 years that I started reading Lugbara Literature seriously. In 2001, I envisioned a radio transcriber, but left the concept to chance. Then did some research for my big brother before starting my own Lugbara Culture blog in 2008. In Twenty10, I bought a Lugbara-English Dictionary from Fountain House (Nkrumah Road, Kampala City) for some multiple-page translation work. On Saturday 26th November 2016 (the 3rd Agofe's 90th birthday), I snapped with gritty nerves and created an online "One Page Lugbara Dictionary", then after spotting my teenage crush drew a logo for Lugbara Translate (2019) in my quest to teach machines my mother tongue like Google Translate. The Lugbara ideas shared here are some of the valuable lessons I learnt along the way following inspiration from the super-amazing Cynthia Letasi (Now Mrs. Mungufeni) who I met on Mt. Wati Road (around 2001-6). I was totally mesmerised by a "beautyful" brownskinned girl so young (6 to 11 years old) speaking Lugbara fluently with no apologies yet I had grown up with my mother tongue being downgraded by some people in Bantuland. Because of Xnthi (nickname of numberless infinity I gave her), I started believing it has class too...

Translate Lugbara to English

Small to Medium-sized Language Model/ Corpus/ Simplified Text Dataset of Lugbara Phrases (Sentences for Machine Learning):

How do you say "Thanks!" in Lugbarati? Awa'difo!

Translate "Angu owi 'bo!" to English! The place has dawned already/ The sun has risen.

IMPORTANT RULES for AI FINE-TUNING: Lugbara words are written the way they are pronounced. Every word ends with a vowel... Arua Lugbara from Muni Suburb (Ayivu) is considered a standard; Aringa is a dialect considered Low Lugbara while Lugbara broke away from Madi near Juba during migration from Nigeria... Adding suffixes -ka, -ma, -nga, -ta, -za to verbs creates nouns... Adding the suffix -ru to nouns (which can be used as male-given names) creates adjectives (which can be used as female-given names)... The letter C is always pronounced Ch like Church... In clusters DJ, GB and KP, the first letter is silent; meanwhile MV is pronounced NV and NZ is NJ... Some words that start with E can start with I while those that start with O can start with U especially in Aringati or other dialects... Apostrophe before B, D, W and Y denotes the sound H... The word ra after a verb denotes positive emphasis while ku denotes opposite... Some words have multiple meanings depending on three (to four) tones or the context...

Lugbara Translate (Prompt Architecture):

A ga 'bo! = I have refused already!

A ga (si)! = I (have) refuse(d)!

A ka mi ne. = When I see you.

A le chai na (3)! = I want three cups of tea!

A le enya! = I want food!

A le ku! = I do not want!

A le lonyi icekoko. = I need (want without missing) wealth.

A le mi! = I love you/ I want you!

A le mi ambamba! = I love you very much!

A le mi ku. = I do not love/ want you.

A le mi tu! = I love you very much!

A le mi tu. = I want to kick you.

A le mu ku. = I do not want to go.

A le spageti ambamba! = I love spaghetti alot!

A le yi mvuzaru! = I want drinking water!

A le yi ojizuru! = I want water for washing/ bathing!

A mvu chai suluwayiwayi si. = I drank tea with small donuts.

A nda ti. = I searched for long/ in vain.

A va ra. = I understand/ understood.

Abutze ni 'be ambo izu ndeni Westi Nailu-a ri. = Abutze is the Tallest Mountain in West Nile.

Ada! = True!

Adraa (ru aziri Leo) ni andra Yuganda Ohelu ma imbapi. = Adraa (other name Leo) was sometime ago the Uganda Cranes coach.

ADRO le Lugbara tu. = GOD loves the Lugbara very much.

A'di le ma ra? Ma-i! A'dusi? = Who loves me? It's me! Why?

A'di yo! = No war!

ADRO le ama woro. = GOD loves all of us.

A'du iji mi ma dukani-a (ni)? = What brings you to my shop?

Agu azi ci aapi desi 'ba aga 'Be ambo Wati. = There is a man who lives across Mountain Wati.

Agupi azi-a. = Men at work!

Agupi azia! = Six men!

Ai ci. = There is salt.

Ai enya alea yo. = (There is) no salt in the food.

Ai ni fe mucele ni alu. = Salt makes rice tasty.

Ai yo. = No salt.

Aita ma mba kongolo. = Faith should harden/ grow hardened.

Aje ni isi 'bo. = The price has reduced already.

Aje ni si? = How much is the price?

Aju mani. = The spear is mine/ for me.

Ajuru ni imbapi. = Ajuru is a teacher.

Aku mi ku! = I won't leave you!

Ama aa 'ba si. = We stay/ exist because of people.

Ama ai! = Let us pray/ ask/ beg!

Ama ai ko Katwe yi-a. = We are trapping/ catching salt in Katwe water.

Ama ayikoru! = We are happy!

Ama 'di. = We are here.

Ama mi inzi, MUNGU! = We worship you, GOD!

Ama mu drile; a cani go vile ku. = We are moving/ going forward; we won't go back.

Ama nga ama le ewule ewule. = We will love each other forever.

Ama Ojapi. = We are Ojapi.

Ama ongo 'di tu ra. = We can (surely) dance this song.

Amaguru ni aa Landani-a. = Amaguru stays in London.

Amena! = Amen!

Amoti ni komedi ide. = Amooti makes comedy.

Amuki Mvara-a! = Let us go to Mvara!

Amvu orodriru. = A farm is valuable.

Angu amadri tu ku asi onzi si. = Our place does not rise/ develop because of bad heart.

Aniako adreni ayiko ku. = Ignorance/ Lack of knowledge is not bliss.

Angusara si, afa woro ni i-oja o'di. = At dawn, everything turns new.

Anya i'di funo ala si alu saaru. = Millet porridge with groundnut paste is very tasty.

Aringati Lugbarati le. = Aringa language is like Lugbara language.

Arojo ngoa? = Where is the hospital/ medicine-house?

Arua alu mengu ika-orenjisiri le. = Arua is tasty like a red-orange mango.

Arua 'dale, onyi ci. = That side of Arua, there is niceness.

Arua Hilu ni avi Onduparaka be. = Arua Hill is playing with Onduparaka.

Asindriza aga lonyi. = Peace is better than wealth/ property.

Asindriza Kristo ni 'ba dria ni. = The peace of Christ for all.

Ata mba, kirikiri! = (Also) man, please!

Awa'difo irita si! = Thanks for listening!

Awa'difo mini! = Thank you!

Awania! = Thanks!

Ayiko 'bu-a. = Happiness is in heaven.

Ayiko mani ci, YESU oji onzi mani. = There is happiness for me, JESUS washed my sins.

Ayiko ni ma fu! = Happiness is killing me/ I'm happy!

Ayiko nyaku-a ci! = There is happiness on earth!

Ayiko nyaku-a yo! = No happiness on earth!

Ayivu ma Opi ica Agofe suzori. = The Ayivu Chief became the 4th Paramount Chief (of Lugbara Kari).

Ayota ma so pa eyi ma pari-a. = Rules (must) stand in their place/ Terms apply.

'Ba/ Bha da sende tawuni-a tipasi. = Money was poured in town using a tipper.

'Ba gasia ive acisi. = Garbage/ Rubbish/ Trash is burnt using fire.

'Ba mbi! = Let us make love/ have sex/ fuck/ shaft!

'Ba nde YESU si. = People win through JESUS.

Belinda ni kriketi avi. = Belinda plays cricket.

Bongomini ni Acoli. = Bongomin is an Acholi.

Briketi 'ba ide karatasi aapi yi ma alea cika o'du iri si. = Brickets are made using papers that have stayed in water for at least two days.

Chandi ci. = There is sadness/ sorrow/ misery.

Daktari kini a'duni? = The doctor said what/ What did the doctor say?

Dipresoni peta ni. = Depression is a choice.

'Di a'di-i? = Who is this?

'Di a'duni? = What is this?

'Di ma wa'di/ ago/ oku. = This is my partner/ husband/ wife (woman).

Doro ni Muyindi. = Doro is an Indian.

E 'ba mi cika! = (You have) put yourself better off!

E 'ba mupira vaa! = Put the ball down!

E gba mani simu! = Ring/ call me!

E ka te ise osiza ma nga mi ti-a, mi te sawa izu. = If you wait for fried grasshoppers to fly into your mouth, (then) you wait a long time.

E ka tro le ra, e ka tro le ku. = Even if you want, even if you don't want.

E la/ Ila muke! = Sleep well!

E le a'du(ni)? = What do you want?

E nda/ Inda! = Search!

E nga azi! = Work!

E nga mini ngari! = Do the work you are doing/ Mind your work!

E (n)zi jotile! = Open the door!

E va/ Iva ra? = Did/ Do you understand?

E yi ai! = Pour salt!

Ediofe ni kala etu ni 'dezuri-a. = Ediofe is on the side where the sun sets/ West side.

Ee! = Yes!

Emi imu YESU vu! = Come to JESUS!

Emi we emi yofe si! = Come in large numbers/ Sweep yourselves with a broom!

Emili ni Ostrelia-a. = Emily is in Australia.

Enya 'di alu tu! = This food is very delicious!

Enyasa za si. = Slapfood/ bread with meat.

Enyau ni ra Nailu Miri-a. = Enyau flows into the Nile River.

Eri adungu avi. = S/he is playing the West Nile bow-harp.

Eri buku la. = S/he is reading a book.

Eri fe ma asi ni su. = S/he makes my heart pain.

Eri ma dri onzi! = S/he has a bad head/ is stubborn!

Eri ma inyiriko wura ini. = His/ Her skin colour is black.

Eri makaroni nya. = S/he eats/ is eating macaroni.

Eri mindreru. = S/he is tearful.

Eri muke! = S/he is okay!

Etu mudri (10). = 4 pm/ Daytime Sun 10.

Eyi Kristiani. = They are Christians.

Eyi mairungi nya Bigi Ji si. = They eat mairungi with Big G.

Eyi muke! = They are okay!

Eyi nzila dria afa nda. = They are on the road looking for things.

E'yere e'yere, okuku mu re. = Slowly slowly, the tortoise went far.

E'yo azi yo! = There is no other issue/ problem!

E'yo 'diari de-i 'bo. = The issue here is over.

E'yo ewaru ma talasi, ma ali 'bo. = Beside the difficult issue, I have passed already.

E'yo laza/ eriza. = News.

Haleluya! = Hallelujah!

Hedeksi ni drigaza atri. = Hedex stops headaches.

Idi Amini ni andra Lugbara agaa, Kakwa agaa. = Idi Amin was half Lugbara, half Kakwa.

Idri onyiru! = Life is good!

I'du/ Iji mupira, mi edri mupira! = Take the ball, pass the ball!

Ife/ E fe mani indi! = Give me too!

Ife/ E fe mani soda! = Give me a soda!

Ifi! = Enter/ Go in!

Ikini? = You said?

Imu dri ada-a! = Go right!

Ine! = See!

Ine odukudu ra? = Did you see the cockroach?

Ingu 'ba azi ku! = Hate no one!

Ini ma vutia, etu ni ifu ra. = After the night, the sun comes out.

Ini muke! = Good night!

Inisi, etu ni 'de. = At night, the sun falls/ sets.

Inzu ika! = Chew sugarcane!

Ipe/ E pe M7! = Vote M7!

Ise! = Pull!

Ise alu(alu)! = Grasshoppers are tasty!

Isu mi medali ceni! = Wear your (own) medal by yourself!

Isu/ E su odre 'dia ku! = Do not urinate here!

Ite ma! = Wait for me!

Itru ma! = Forgive me/ Undress me!

Itu/ E tu ongo! = Dance to the music!

Ive ra! = You got burnt/ Thank you for the food!

Iya/ E ya mi! = Shake yourself!

Izoanzi lonyi le. = Girls are like wealth.

J-Hope Band ni ongo ngo. = J-Hope Band is singing a song.

JEHOVA ni ma oce ni; ma kabilomva ERI ni. = JEHOVAH is my shepherd; am HIS lamb.

Kali aro drini aro du aziri, Arua One! = 88.7, Arua One!

Kanisa jo indrika ni; MUNGI ni asi-a. = A church building is a shed; GOD is in the heart.

Kanisa ngoa? = Where is the church?

Kawino ni Munyoro agaa, Lugbara agaa. = Kawino is half Munyoro, half Lugbara.

Kibirango mu Baselona-a. = Kibirango went to Barcelona.

Kini: Sende yo. = (S/he) said: There is no money.

Kirikiri! = Please!

Kome alu! = The chair is sweet!

Kome nyo-i. = The chair broke.

La skulu Ojapi-a. = (S/he) studied in Ojapi.

Le anga azi avasi! = We need to work with enthusiasm!

Le mi ati ma eri e'yo 'di indi. = Your father needs to hear this issue too.

Leta adari MUNGU vu. = True love is with GOD.

Leta mini i'da mani 'di de ma abiri. = This love you showed/ have shown me finished my hunger.

Leta nde ni. = Love wins.

Leta si, mi 'ba tru. = With love, you forgive people.

Livapulu-a, mi aci nga a'dule ku. = In Liverpool, you'll never walk alone.

Ludi ni mukati okazaru ide. = Ludi is making brown bread.

Luwero ni NRM ma e'doza. = Luwero is the beginning of NRM.

Ma a'bi la 'do. = My ancestors are resting here.

Ma ai mi ava amboru si! = I receive you with great enthusiasm!

Ma adri, YESU le mi ra. = My brother, JESUS loves you (surely).

Ma amvi, mi oja asi! = My sister, repent/ change heart!

Ma ande 'bo. = I'm tired/ exhausted already.

Ma asi ni su! = My heart is paining.

Ma avi mi e'yo ku. = I have not forgotten you(r issue).

Ma azoru! = I'm sick!

Ma dri ni ga. = My head is acheing/ paining.

Ma 'di. = I'm here.

Ma 'do. = I'm here.

Ma enga Aroi-a. = I'm (coming) from Aroi.

Ma e'yo nze a'di be? = Who am I talking with/ to?

Ma ice mi! = I missed you!

Ma iconi/ econi mi ku ku. = I cannot leave you.

Ma isu mani sende. = I found for myself money.

Ma ka ca 'bu-a 'dale, ayiko a'dule. = When I reach heaven there, happiness alone.

Ma lugba ra bongo alea. = I'm wrapping desert dates in a cloth.

Ma mi agi. = I'm your friend.

Ma mi ice! = I'm missing you!

Ma mi nda. = I'm looking for you.

Ma mu azi-a. = I'm going to work.

Ma mu cuu-a. = I'm going to the market.

Ma mu hoteli-a. = I'm going to the hotel.

Ma mu kanisa-a. = I'm going to church.

Ma mu yi we. = I'm going to swim (in water).

Ma muke! = I'm okay/ fine/ good!

Ma mundu maaku kani ayirishi nya. = I'm eating Whiteman potatoes or Irish.

Ma nga ma mu ra, afazikoko. = I will depart, with nothing.

Ma nga mi ice. = I will miss you.

Ma nga mu Kongo-a. = I will go to Congo.

Ma nyaka 'da. = I'm fasting.

Ma nyanya ozi. = I sell tomatoes.

Ma osi o'du azia, mba o'du 7 Januari, eli 1984 si. = I was born on Saturday 7th January 1984.

Ma pa ni azo! = My leg is paining!

Ma ru Luka. = My name is Luke.

Ma StarTimes TV (tava)/ tivi ne. = I'm watching StarTimes TV.

Madri 'do. = Mine is here.

Mali nyakunisi 'ba owu ku! = Do not cry because of earthly wealth!

Maracha ni oruleru. = Maracha is up.

Maracha Kala etu ni ifuzu ri oni dri-a. = Maracha East sits on rocks.

Maskiti ngoa? = Where is the mosque?

Mbusua ni angu ne inisi indi. = A cat can see in the night too.

Mesi ni avi 9 (Oromi) Enzoru. = Messi plays as a False 9.

Mi aa mile be! = Watch out/ Be with eyes/ Be careful!

Mi aa ngoa? = Where do you stay?

Mi aa ngoni? = How did you stay?/ Good afternoon!

Mi ai o'du driasi! = You pray everyday!

Mi ai pere Lusifa ni muzu! = Pray until Lucifer leaves!

Mi ai YESU mi asi-a! = Accept JESUS into your heart!

Mi anyu! = Switch off!

Mi avi mani ongo! = Play for me a song!

(M)i 'ba aci! = You put/ switch on the light!

Mi enga/ inga ngoa? = Where are you coming from?

Mi e'yo nze Mama Zilipa be. = You are talking to Mama Zilipa.

Mi fe ma asi ni su. = You make my heart pain.

Mi gasia nyo, ive kani 'ba ma. = You break rubbish, burn or put to rot/ decompose.

Mi ici/ opi jotile! = Lock/ Shut (Close) the door!

Mi ifi! = Come in!

Mi ifu/ efu ngoni? = How did you get out?/ Good morning!

Mi iji a lu mini siri azi! = Let me tell you some secret!

Mi iji katro ngungu! = Bring even if it smells!

Mi iji mani mucele osu si! = Bring me rice with beans!

Mi iku Sitani le! = You sound like Satan!

Mi imu mavu! = Come to me!

Mi iri mi tipika! = Listen to your parents!

Mi ma Namba Alu. = You are my Number One.

Mi mani a'dule. = You are mine alone.

Mi nga wu (ra). = You will cry.

(Mi) ngoni? = How (are you)?

Mi oja! = Translate/ Change/ Turn/ Flip!

Mi oja asi! = Repent (Change heart)!

Mi oja Lugbara(ti) Inglishi/ Munduti ru! = Translate Lugbara (language) into English/ Whiteman's language!

Mi olu! = (You) tell/ speak!

Mi omve DADI; PAPA MUNGU! = Call on DADDY; PAPA GOD!

Mi omve tukutuku kani rakisaka! = Call a threewheeler passenger tuk-tuk or goods (rickshaw) truck!

Mi omvi (ma) mbele! = Reply (me) fast!

Mi opi dinisa! = Close the window!

Mi ru a'di-i? = What is your name?

Midri ngo? = Where is yours?

Muke! = Fine!

Mundrokole nzo nzo! = Mundrokole greens are slippery!

MUNGU eco ra. = GOD can (surely).

MUNGU fe ni. = GOD is the one who gave/ caused to happen.

MUNGU ide ayiko indi. = GOD created happiness too.

MUNGU le Lugbara ambo. = GOD loves the Lugbara in a big way.

MUNGU le ni. = GOD is the one who wants.

MUNGU ni ambo! = GOD is great/ big!

MUNGU ni E'doza azini Deza. = GOD is the Beginning and End.

Museveni so pa Prezidenti ru. = M7 stood as President.

Namba oja-i ku. = The number does not change.

Nganu si 'ba roleksi ide. = Wheat flour is used to make rollex.

Ngoni? = How?/ Hello!

Nukuta Cha. = Letter C.

Nyaku-a, MUNGU fe andra ma mali koko. = On earth, GOD gave me sometime ago without wealth.

Nzepiri ma nze! =  Let the one who talks talk!

O'bitisi, etu ni efu. = In the morning, the sun comes out.

Oco ni abo a'dusi? = Why is the dog barking?

O'du ositaniri ayikoru! = Happy Birthday!

O'duko awuni. = Condolence message.

O'duko mini iri orobi-a ri 'dele MUNGU-i. = The voice you hear in a dream is probably GOD.

Ogwapiti ni Nyu Zilandi-a. = Ogwapit is in New Zealand.

Oleo ni nzu, 'da. = The witch is running, there.

Olia ni simu gba. = Olia is calling.

Omba ci. = There is anger/ sulking.

Ondu paraka si, oku yi afa drisi ide. = With sorghum stems, women make handicrafts.

Opi YESU, ru mini ma ovu ecuzaru, ewule ewule! = Lord JESUS, your name remain famous, forever!

Ori ci? Ori yo! = Is there fear? No fear!

Ori de ma. = Fear finished me/ I was afraid.

Ori ga mi ku. = The snake won't bite you.

Orindi Alataru ni amani geri i'da ni. = The Holy Spirit shows us the way/ guides us.

Orobi ni o'duko mi orindi ni. = Dreams are the voice of your spirit.

Osu ngoa? = Where are the beans?

Raga P ni aru(jo)-a. = Ragga P is in prison.

Realu/ Riyalu Madridi nde kopo azini. = Real Madrid has won another cup.

Rozi su Gugo mara. = Rose wore Google glasses.

Rua ari be, mi iza ma MUNGU ku! = Body with blood, do not ruin my (faith in) GOD!

Saa ca 'bo. = The time has come already.

Saa na ali be. = Half past 9 o'clock.

Salima fa iza ilia si. = Salima scraped the meat using a small knife.

Sawa aziri (7) ini si. = 1 O'clock at night.

Sawa ica 'bo. = The time has already come.

Sawa si? = What time/ What is the time/ How much time?

Sawa te 'ba azi ku. = Time waits for no one.

Sayansi azini tekinoloji ni suru oja. = Science and technology changes the nation.

Sende adreni MUNGU ku, te afazi ayuzaru. = Money is not GOD, but something to use.

Sende lu kalafe/ namba ni. = Money is just a number.

Si ni avi ra, te mi aa mile be! = Teeth can get lost, but be careful!

Sindani ga(kandi)a ni tajiri nde. = A little needle defeats a tycoon/ richman (to own).

Sitani o'bi ti. = Satan tried for long (in vain).

Skulu ngoa? = Where is the school?

Stela nya onya ku. = Stella does not eat whiteants.

Su bongo grini/ ase ma wura le. = She wore a green/ like the colour of grass attire.

Terego-a, 'ba azi (ki) odro nya indi. = In Terego, some people eat rats too.

Tesla ma ru ku ndo. = Tesla's name became famous later.

URA ni Vurra-a. = URA is in Vurra.

Vikitoria ni Erika ma onyere. = Victoria is Erica's sister-in-law.

VOLU ni o'duko mini icozu asi 'bazu drinia ra ri. = Voice Of Life Uganda is the voice you can trust.

Wakabi ni e'da gba pensilu si. = Wakabi is drawing a picture with a pencil.

Westinailu Televizoni ni diza. = Westnile Television is light.

YESU dra mani. = JESUS died for me.

YESU, e ko ma aza! = JESUS, help me!

YESU ni geri. = JESUS is the way.

YESU ni Kami Yuda ni. = JESUS is the Lion of Judah.

YESU ni ma ojo/ daktari. = JESUS is my doctor.

YESU pa ma. = JESUS saved me.

Yo! = No!

Zamva 'da kalikali! = That girl is sweet!

Zukulu si, 'ba lesu ta mba. = With a calabash, milk is stored/ people store milk.

• You can search this Blog for Aiko's Lugbara Dictionary (Leta SI - Synthetic Intelligence since 2016) to get more words!

#MakeMachinesLearnLugbara: Catching SALT (Synthetic Artificial Lugbara Translation)...

Soul tea (Turning negatives into antidotes)... Chai-3...

Retrieval Augmented Generation (RAG): Because of tones and contexts that distinguish words with multiple meanings, machines may hallucinate while translating Lugbara; especially into another language... The Simplified Lugbara Alphabet which I use has 28 letters only (minus Q and X but adding 'B, 'D, 'W and 'Y) while the Advanced Lugbara Alphabet has 45 letters (7 vowels and 38 consonants)...

Do not ignore basics... Learning never ends... Train again and again and again...

Meta's Universal Speech Translation System (No Language Left Behind) according to Mark Zuckerberg is capable of learning "every language, even if there isn't a lot of text available to learn from... that is a superpower that people dreamed of forever and AI is going to deliver that within our lifetimes..."

Data (Web-presence text) scarcity is a big hurdle... Direct speech-to-speech translation models can enable translations...

Test and improve translation models...

"Just train for the next match..." - Vinicius Junior (2024 FIFA Best Player of the Year)

Deep researching never ends...

Mulalu [Mad] Daydream in 2001 at Makerere College School (Macos): Radio devices can transcribe what is spoken on air plus translate it (even for deaf people)... Classroom dictation since O-Level especially History (because it is based on facts and truth) made me believe that possibility... I even wrote down lyrics from songs playing on radio. The toughest part was BBC football commentary, but tried very hard to keep up with the pace. Imagined that a machine would do it faster than me... Imagine listening to a Lugbara radio drama or song and getting real-time translation on a screen plus audio...

Word Interchange Theory (WIT) in 2005 (Inspired by 1996): Answers come from the combination of already-known words (letters and numbers)...

Big[ambo]...

Lugbara Kari [House of Lugbara]...

Where the Old [Dezaru] and New [O'diru] meet...

Lugbara Broadcast...

TRIVIA: Ayivu, Maracha, Terego and Vurra are the four main Lugbara clans in Uganda. Aringa is considered low Lugbara (though they want to stand alone as a tribe) and Koboko (Kakwaland) has place names in Lugbarati especially near Lugbaraland. Some Madi Okollo dialects are mutually intelligible with Lugbara, a language whose speakers are believed to have broken away from the Madi near Juba in South Sudan after migrating from Nigeria. The Madi called them "Lugba [Desert dates] ni". Lugbara were hired to cut sugarcanes in Masindi, Lugazi (Mukono), Kakira (Jinja), etc and many settled in those areas...

There are nine Lugbara clans in DR Congo...

In South Sudan, Lugbara extend as (A)zande...

Arua is at the Heart of West Nile (and the ancient Lado Kingdom)...

Shazam!

Speech-To-Text (STT)...

Automatic Speech Recognition (ASR) is used in Twitter (X) Spaces, Google Meet, etc...

Model Context Protocol (MCP)...

Synthetic Lugbara-Processing (SLP) Research/ Lugbara Training Library/ Deep Learning Indaba (Symposium) ARUA... From Google Translate to Sunbird AI (Ugandan project), Meta AI, Sigma.AI, etc, the possibilities for Lugbara AI are limitless...

Ojapi Audio-to-text Converter (Bypassing the Language Barrier): Transcribe, translate, chat...

Informative Synthetic Encoder (ISE) - No. 031224, is a database collection of parallel Lugbara-to-English phrases pulled through audio-textual translation (ATT). The work of ISE is to input data from audio or text documents, pull translations, spot inconsistencies and errors (by verifying entries), understand plus generate new insightful parallels. It stores the translations made for data-hopping...

You do not have to be a carpenter to use a hammer, neither do you have to be technical like a coder, computer engineer nor data scientist to train AI...

Artificial Intelligence Knowledge Organiser...

(Creative Commons) AikoGraphics (2003-Now)

Arua Hill Chronicles

Arua Hill (Sports Club) Football

Fixtures, Results (and Commentary)

2024 Startimes Uganda Premier League Season:

• Season ends on 18th May 2024

• FUFA withdraws Arua Hill license due to failure to comply with Club Licensing regulations on Tuesday 23rd, pending appeal before Monday 29th January as 2nd Round fixtures resume on 1st February 2024...

• Arua Hill 0, Express 1 (Game brought forward from my birthday which will be on Sunday 7th to my dad's 77th birthday on Wednesday 3rd January 2024)

• Kitara 7, Arua Hill 1 (Coach quits and is hired by Vipers while three players including Wahab leave as 8-man Arua Hill bravely suffers its Worst Loss this season and historically in a game brought forward from Tuesday 2nd January 2024 to Thursday 28th December 2023)

• Arua Hill 1, Maroons 3 (Leopards score first but can't stay in the lead on Wednesday 20th December 2023)

• URA 4, Arua Hill 1 (David Obua's Tax Collecters trump the Leopards on Sunday 10th December 2023)

• Arua Hill 2, Wakiso 2 (Tuesday 5th December 2023)

• Bright Stars 3, Arua Hill 1 (Another loss on Thursday 30th November 2023)

• Arua Hill 2, UPDF 0 (Kawawa gives the Leops a first half lead on the way to their first victory in 8 games though remain rooted at the bottom with 4 points on Friday 24th November 2023)

• SC Villa 3, Arua Hill 1 (All goals scored in 2nd Half on Thursday 9th November 2023)

• Arua Hill 1, KCCA 1 (Leopards register their first point in six games against ten men after Peter Magambo exhibited kungfu and was redcarded on Tuesday 31st October 2023)

• Mbarara City 1, Arua Hill 0 (Mbarara gets its first win of the season against winless Leopards at Kakyeka Stadium in a tie brought forward by one day from Thursday 26th October 2023)

• Arua Hill 0, Gaddafi 1 (Four losses at the start of the season like KCCA. Two days after Kawawa's birthday and one after Mbabazi's, this bottom of the table game is postponed briefly at Arua Hill's alternative Paridi Stadium in Adjumani due to heavy rains on Thursday 19th October 2023)

• Arua Hill 1, BUL 2 (Another home defeat making it 3 straight losses after John Rogers aka Okumu levelled with a header before halftime from a Wahab corner on Sunday 1st October 2023)

• Vipers 2, Arua Hill 0 (2nd defeat in the 2nd game of the season puts the Leopards in 15th place on Thursday 21st September 2023)

• Arua Hill 0, Busoga United 1 (Actress Mona's birthday ends with an opening day loss for the Leopards but Trossard ensures an Arsenal win at Goodison Park on Sunday 17th September 2023)

Beaten 2-1 in a pre-season match...

In July 2023, Arua Hill confirms sell of 49 percent shares to Cayman Global Ventures...

2023 Uganda Premier League Season:

• Arua Hill 1, Wakiso 0 (Coach Livingston Mbabazi thanks the entire Arua Hill Family for a successful Top 4 finish after the final game of the season that starts at 2pm on Saturday 27th May 2023)

• Bright Stars 0, Arua Hill 1 (The Leopards get back up from their Worst Home Loss in an away game postponed to Tuesday 23rd from Saturday 20th May 2023)

• Arua Hill 1, Busoga United 4 (Tuesday 16th May 2023)

• BUL 0, Arua Hill 0 (Stalemate at the FUFA Technical Centre on Wednesday 10th May 2023)

• Arua Hill 4, Express 1 (The Eagle couldn't survive the forest in their 4th-straight defeat to the Leopards while rain clouds hovered above Arua during Matchday 24 of 30 on Wednesday 3rd May 2023)

• Onduparaka 2, Arua Hill 2 (The 4th Arua City Classic between Green v Red ends in a draw with rain falling on Friday 28th April 2023)

• Arua Hill 0, Vipers 1 (Leopards beaten (read bitten) by Vipers in a game postponed from Sunday 5th March to Tuesday 25th April 2023)

• Arua Hill 2, Gaddafi 1 (Innocent Media scores twice for the Leopards who end the weekend in 5th place with 31 points while I attend a memorial for my Tara grandfather; this game was brought forward from Monday 24th to Saturday 22nd April 2023)

• Villa 0, Arua Hill 1 (Revenge is best served cold and the same way; Innocent Media scores the lone goal as Leopards beat record champions and tabletoppers The Jogoos away on Wednesday 19th April 2023)

• Arua Hill 0, URA 0 (Points shared with the taxcollectors in a rainy game postponed by one day to Joel Aita's Easter Sunday birthday - unfortunately also my 3rd cousin Bob's murderous final day on Earth - Sunday 9th April 2023)

• UPDF 3, Arua Hill 1 (Matchday 21 ended in defeat on Tuesday 4th April 2023)

• Arua Hill 2, Blacks Power 0 (Arguably the heaviest sunset rain in the month falls after this game where Goalie Anyama does a lot of work stopping goal attempts from the opponents on Thursday 30th March 2023)

• Maroons 2, Arua Hill 0 (A goal in each half without any reply from the Leopards characterises this game postponed by one day to Tuesday 21st March 2023)

• KCCA 3, Arua Hill 2 (The 2nd half of Arua Hill's season starts but Leopards fight hard in vain on Thursday 24th February 2023)

Jimmy Kanakuly (goalkeeper), Gibson Adinho Wande (free agent midfielder) and Dickson Niwamanya (forward) join the Leopards during the transfer window

• Wakiso Giants 1, Arua Hill 1 (Thursday 22nd December 2022)

• Arua Hill 2, Bright Stars 1 (My lovely mother Liza Dramani departed from Earth in Kyebando on her 75th birthday, a day before this home tie and was buried on Monday 19th December in Maracha but she is still a bright star in my existence because she gave me the paintwork that got me the gate fee cash to watch my very first Kongolo game during the pre-UPL Big League on a Sunday; her coffin arrived in Anyafio Village from Kampala in the middle of the night some hours before sunrise on Saturday 17th December 2022)

• Busoga United 0, Arua Hill 1 (Reagan Mpande scores before halftime to inflict a fifth home loss for 2nd-last placed Busoga while Kongolo goalkeeper Rogers Omedwa performs wonderfully against his former side as Arua Hill climbs to 6th with 19 points on Monday 12th December 2022)

• Arua Hill 0, BUL 1 (This is the 2nd home loss of the season but 5th overall just before Africa's last hope Morocco with penalty-shootout-saves from goalkeeper Yassine Bounou aka Bono knocks Spain out of the first World Cup in Arabia following a goalless extratime on Tuesday 6th December 2022)

• Express 0, Arua Hill 1 (A single goal from Isaac Ogwang in the 14th minute earns three points for the Leopards at Muteesa II Stadium in Wankulukuku on Friday 2nd December 2022)

• Arua Hill 2, Onduparaka 1 (Reagan Mpande comes off the bench to score twice in the 3rd edition of the Arua City Classic. Arua Hill moves back to 7th place with 13 points - only five points behind table leaders Wakiso Giants; what a cheerful day from seeing Shaphan, Simon and Philip at Church and Johnnie (boda) who shouted my name while riding towards the Mt. Wati Avenue presidential junction plus Isaac (another boda) to getting calls from Sylvia who has a very sweet voice like Pamela the Musoga, almost equivalent to stereo soprano - music to the ears of the heart! The Leopards don their new red home kit with white tapemarks on the sleeves and a white-line leopard motif around the right abdomen on Sunday 27th November 2022)

• Gaddafi 2, Arua Hill 0 (The Leopards drop from 7th to 10th out of 16 after their deadly fourth loss in a row on Wednesday 23rd November 2022)

• Arua Hill 0, SC Villa 1 (Third defeat, but first at home from a handball penalty during the FIFA World Cup Qatar eve on Saturday 19th November 2022)

• Vipers 1, Arua Hill 0 (Second away defeat with 10 points and 7th place looming on Tuesday 15th November 2022)

• URA 1, Arua Hill 0 (First away defeat of the season after Kigongo goal conceded in the 78th minute on Saturday 12th November 2022)

• Arua Hill 3, UPDF 0 (Wahab Gadafi nets the third goal from a penalty in the 4th minute of additional time after Magandazi holds the ball in his box as Leopards sit briefly in 2nd place on the table then 6th four points behind leaders BUL but with two games in hand; Bright Vuni is sent off in the last minute on Friday 4th November 2022)

• Blacks Power 0, Arua Hill 0 (Arua Hill drops its first 2 points out of a possible total of 90 in Lira during matchday 3 on Friday 28th October 2022)

• Arua Hill 3 Maroons 1 (After First Son Muhoozi Kainerugaba speaks to West Nilers at the Arua Golf Course about his desire to be their next president when his father's term ends in 2026, the focus shifts to Barifa Playground at 4pm, also Arsene Wenger's birthday and the last day I saw my mother, on Saturday 22nd October 2022)

• Vipers v Arua Hill (Postponed from Friday 14th October 2022)

• Arua Hill 3, KCCA FC 1 (Opening game for the Arua club brought forward from Sunday 9th to Saturday 8th October 2022 ends in favour of the purring hosts led by South Sudanese captain Rashid Toha who shares his birthday with Uganda. He gets the 2nd goal from a penalty like a pre-birthday gift after Isaac Ogwang opens Arua Hill's season while another Rashid [Kawawa] finishes off the garbage-collectors from Kampala with the third; KCCA's consolation is a late 90+3 minute own goal by Bright Vuni... On the opening day of the season [Friday 30th September 2022], Arua Hill prepared to kick off its 2nd season in the top flight with a 2-0 friendly win over Adjumani Town Council at Barifa; Sat in 10th place out of 16 without playing UPL in Matchweek 1)

2023 Squad: 1. Martin Ssenkoto (GK); 2. Farouk Musisi; 3. Richard Matovu; 4. Isaac Okello; 5. Innocent Maduka; 6. Yusuf Mafabi; 7. Reagan Mpande; 8. Allan Mugalu; 9. Brian Ade; 10. Gadafi Wahab; 11. Rashid Kawawa; 12. Rashid Toha (Captain); 13. Paul Musamil; 14. Junior Andama; 15. Geriga Atendele; 16. N/A; 17. Denis Andama; 18. Rogers Omedwa (GK); 19. N/A; 20. Jacob Kamwesiga; 21. Steven Kabuye; 22. Kachanchu Gadafi; 23. Samuel Ssekamatte; 24. Rashid Muhammad; 25. Ivan Eyamu; 26. Isaac Ogwang; 27. Noah Sabir; 28. Jafari Kerepi; 29. Innocent Media; 30. Bright Vuni; 31. Ibrahim Faizul; 32. Richard Anyama (GK); 33. Abdallah Salim; 34. N/A; 35. N/A; 36. Ibrahim Musa

2022 Uganda Premier League Season:

During the Pilsner StarTimes Uganda Premier League Awards in June, goalkeeper Richard Anyama and left centreback Bright Vuni made it to the Best XI of the 2022 Season...

• Arua Hill 1, Express 0 (Rain falls heavily after midday to set the stage for the final match of the season that kicks off at 4pm [Arua Standard Time], the free entry game serves up a one-goal victory courtesy of a blonde-haired scorer for the hosts who end their maiden UPL Season in 5th place with the same statistics [30 Matches Played, 14 Won, 10 Drawn, 6 Lost, 52 Points] as 4th-placed BUL FC who only edge them on goal difference as well as head-to-head; Alfred Leku [Best Player of the Season] walks away with a land title worth 5 Million UgX while Rashid Kawawa [Best Young Player], Gadafi Wahab [Goal of the Season] plus other achievers each win 500,000 UgX on Saturday 21st May 2022)

• SC Villa 2, Arua Hill 1 (The Jogoos score their winner five minutes from full-time in a game where Leku receives a yellow card on Friday 13th May 2022)

• Onduparaka 0, Arua Hill 3 (Two goals from Kawawa in each half and a first for Maduka in-between paints Arua and West Nile red in the enyasa affair between two jo ejeles [neighbours]; the Leopards register 49 points on the table boosting their chances of a Top 4 finish with two games left. The 2nd Arua City derby is well-attended on Friday 6th May 2022)

• Arua Hill 2, Mbarara City 1 (Game is played through a drizzle from start to finish as Muslims wait eagerly to sight the Eid El-fitr moon that ends Ramadan fasting, Leku nets a game-winning belter to complete the comeback on Labour Day - Sunday 1st May 2022)

• Arua Hill 2, Busoga United (Jinja SSS) 0 (Leku scores the second goal off a rebound from the goalkeeper after 90 minutes of normal time, coinciding with steady Lado lightning in the sky, then rain falls immediately after that as if perfectly programmed for the ending of the match on Tuesday 19th April 2022)

• KCCA 0, Arua Hill 0 (Kasasiro is shared in Lugogo on Monday 11th April 2022 as the Leopards remain 5th)

• Arua Hill 1, Gaddafi 1 (Vuni puts the Leopards ahead in the 36th minute but the visitors equalise through a penalty in the 2nd minute of second half stoppage time)

•  URA 0, Arua Hill 0 (Hardfought away draw on Wednesday 30th March 2022)

• Tooro (Soana) 0, Arua Hill 0 (Kongolo is 12 points adrift from top and still 5th but same points as 4th team with eight matches left after a game postponed to Friday 25th March from Saturday 26th February 2022)

• Arua Hill 1, Soltilo Bright Stars 0 (Bright Vuni scores just before halftime for the 5th placed team on Super Tuesday 15th March 2022)

• UPDF 1, Arua Hill 1 (A hard-fought 87th minute equaliser by Kabuye earns one valuable point away from home for the West Nilers on Wednesday 9th March 2022)

• Arua Hill 4, Wakiso Giants 2 (A first half hattrick by Kawawa [4th, 14th, 38th] and one goal by Leku [7th minute] after Rashid's opener in the 2pm kickoff encounter gives the Leopards a pulsating victory at Barifa on Wednesday 2nd March 2022; this six-goal thriller is Arua Hill's Biggest UPL Win. It is followed by heavy rainfall before sunset plus night wind)

• Arua Hill 2, BUL 2 (A penalty for the visitors three minutes from full-time denies the Leopards a revenge win on Wednesday 16th February 2022; game was brought forward from 6th May 2022)

• Vipers 3, Arua Hill 1 (Leopards drop to 6th place in a Kitende game brought forward to Saturday 12th from Tuesday 15th February 2022)

• Arua Hill v Express (Postponed from Wednesday 9th February 2022)

• Arua Hill 2, Police FC 0 (The Leopards register 28 points on Matchday 16 [five behind Vipers at the top] and start the 2nd round of their maiden season the same way they kicked off the 1st round with two goals after announcing a 1.5 Billion three-year partnership with Kansai Plascon Paints (#PaintingAruaRed); Game was brought forward to Saturday 5th February from 19th March 2022)

• SC Villa v Arua Hill (Postponed from Tuesday 1st February 2022 to a later date)

• Police FC 0, Arua Hill 0 (The Leopards end the first round of their maiden UPL season in 5th place, only 6 points behind table leaders KCCA who have a game in hand and start a three week break on Sunday 9th January 2022)

• Arua Hill 1, Vipers 0 (Leku powerfully heads in the lone goal of the game from a cornerkick around the 10th minute after getting an early yellow card for complaining and devenomises the mighty Kitende outfit in 2nd place [5 points ahead with a game in hand]; goalkeeper Anyama was very effective in stopping Vipers and the win sparked off various memes across social media of a leopard fighting against a snake on Tuesday 4th January 2022)

• BUL 4, Arua Hill 0 (Biggest-defeat-ever for the Leopards suffered while visiting the 3rd placed team which is based at Kakindu Stadium in Jinja on Tuesday 28th December 2021)

• Wakiso Giants 1, Arua Hill 2 (Gadinho despite his height scores a rare headed goal with a lofted assist by Leku who later scores the winner skillfully utilising a half chance on the turn after the hosts equalised from a freekick at Kabaka Kyabagu Stadium, Wakisha and replace them in 4th position - 8 points behind the Tabletoppers on Wednesday 22nd December 2021)

• Arua Hill 2, UPDF 1 (The Leopards replace their opponents in 6th place with 18 points - only nine behind the table leaders on Saturday 18th December 2021)

• Arua Hill 2, SC Villa 2 (New black and orange Kongolo bus registered UBK 136W appears at Barifa with amazing branding; Leopards come back from behind against the Record-Champions to draw with goals from Leku in 42nd minute and Media in 79th; Game was rescheduled from Match Day 2 to Tuesday 14th December 2021)

• Soltilo Bright Stars 0, Arua Hill 0 (Friday 10th December 2021)

• Arua Hill 3, Tooro United 1 (Goals from Leku in 2nd minute, Ssekamate in 54th and Media in 90th +3 give the Leopards a comfortable win on Sunday 5th December 2021; Tooro gets its consolation in the 13th minute of additional time though 8 minutes are added)

• Busoga United 0, Arua Hill 1 (A 62nd minute winner from Leku is enough to clinch three points in Jinja-Njeru; AH is in 8th place on the table)

• Arua Hill 0, KCCA FC 1 (Substitute for  the Garbage-collectors heads in the lone goal of the match 17 minutes after coming on; Captain Toha remarks after the match that though disappointed by the loss, they will continue doing the same things to try and win again)

• Gaddafi 1, Arua Hill 0 (Freekick deflects into net off Rashid Toha)

• Arua Hill 3, URA FC 2 (The Comeback win that propels AH to 4th place for a moment then 6th involves two goals from Samuel Ssekamate including a freekick before halftime and penalty equaliser in 2nd half plus the winner shortly after from Alfred Leku before he is sent off for a second bookable offence on Tuesday 2nd November 2021)

• Mbarara City 2, Arua Hill 1 (Alfred Leku scores a 73rd minute consolation goal in the first loss by The Leopards on Friday 29th October 2021)

• Arua Hill 0, Onduparaka 0 (the first-ever Arua City Classic in the UPL on Tuesday 26th October 2021)

• Arua Hill v SC Villa (Saturday 23rd October 2021, not played because opponents are not yet registered)

• Express 0, Arua Hill 2 (Robert Eseru [62nd minute] and substitute Rashid Kawawa [86th] score in the Season Opening Match on Friday 15th October 2021)

2022 Squad Lineup (retrieved from the official club website: www.aruahillsc.ug) : 1. Erick Kibowa (GK), 2. Fred Okot, 3. Richard Matovu, 4. Junior Andama, 5. Innocent Maduka, 6. Yusuf Mafabi, 7. Gadafi Gadinho, 8. Allan Mugalu, 9. Brian Ade, 10. Gadafi Wahab, 11. Rashid Kawawa, 12. Rashid Toha (Captain), 13. David Ndihabwe, 14. Sharif Ssaaka, 15. Aggrey Atandu, 16. N/L, 17. Geriga Atendele, 18. Rogers Omedwa (GK), 19. Alfred Leku, 20. Jacob Kamwesiga, 21. Patrick Matovu, 22. Robert Eseru, 23. Samuel Ssekamate, 24. Rashid Muhammad, 25. Ivan Eyamu, 26. Ibrahim Magandaazi, 27. Noah Sabir, 28. Jafari Karebi, 29. Innocent Media, 30. Bright Vuni, 31. Ibrahim Faizul, 32. Richard Anyama (GK)...

2021 Uganda Big League Season:

• StarTimes FUFA Big League Final: Arua Hill (Elgon Group) 1, Tooro United FC (Rwenzori Group) 0 (Rashid Kawawa scores winner in 25th minute with an assist from his skipper Caesar Okhuti who retires from football after the match on Tuesday 17th August, Richard Anyama wins Goalkeeper of the Season award for 9 clean sheets in 13 matches)

• Arua Hill 4, Paidha Black Angels 0 (The Invincible Leopards win their Elgon Group unbeaten and qualify directly for UPL with goals from Gadinho, two from Kawawa before and after Captain Okhuti on Sunday 13th June 2021)

• Gaddafi 0, Arua Hill 0 (Wednesday 5th June)

• Arua Hill 2, Calvary 0

• Arua Hill 2, Mbale Heroes 0 (Mugalu scores early while Baden nets late on Thursday 26th May)

Aiko (Cartoonist), an Express FC (Red Eagles, Mukwano Gwa Banji) fan since the 90s, wellwisher of Arua-based teams, Bayern Munich supporter, Diehard Gooner enlightened during 1998 FA Cup Final, Madridista by Y2K and Messi fanboy since 2009, gestures outside Barifa Playground a few days before Maroons FC visits [Photo by David Banduyo]...

• Arua Hill 2, Maroons 0 (dreadlocked Kawooya who puts up a vocal Man of the Match performance and Mugalu score 1st half headers, drone camera films the action in the stadium, Godfrey "Papa Wemba" Atiku entertains the crowd at half time after returning from Kampala to attend the swearing in of Ayivu East MP Geofrey Feta at Parliament, Baden is lively with encouraging dribbles and Dan puts in his shift despite his height compared to most opponents in all-yellow, Gadinho hits the left post with a freekick late in the 2nd half, Coach Hussein Mbalangu thanks fans for the tireless support on Sunday 23rd May)

• Mbale Kataka 2, Arua Hill 2

• Blacks Power 1, Arua Hill 1

• Paidha Black Angels 0, Arua Hill 2 (Substitute Rashid Kawawa scores twice late in the game on Sunday 25th April)

• Arua Hill 2, Gaddafi 2 (Equalisers conceeded twice on Thursday 22nd April)

• Arua Hill 1, Calvary 0 (Sunday 18th April)

• Mbale Heroes 1, Arua Hill 1 (Okhuti finally scores away on Thursday 15th April)

• Maroons 0, Arua Hill 0

• Arua Hill 3, Mbale Kataka 0

• Arua Hill 3, Blacks Power 1 (Opening Game, third Strike by Emmanuel Mutebi [shirt 22] was my Goal of the Season on Thursday 25th March 2021)

2021 Squad Lineup: 1. Franco Oringa (GK), 2. Onega, 3. Dan Birikwalira, 4. Isaac Okello, 5. Samari Ajobe, 6. Oscar Agaba, 8. Allan Mugalu, 9. Brian Ade, 10. Mujahid Baden, 11. Rashid Abdulahi Kawawa, 12. Sabir Edema, 13. Rashid Yakin, 14. Paddy Muhumuza, 15. Aggrey Atandu, 16. Rajab Kakooza, 17. Rashid Agau, 19. Alfred Leku, 20. Benard Aleni Sunday, 21. Patrick Matovu, 22. Emmanuel Mutebi, 23. Sabir Simba, 24. Idi, 27. Innocent Ronald Media 29. Caesar Okhuti (Captain), 30. Yashir Mimosa, 31. Telvin Maina Irungu, 32. Richard Anyama (GK), 42. Rashid Muhamed, 66. Aggrey, 87. Mike Kawooya...

Driwala [Freedom]

Aru-a means "in prison" when translated from Lugbara and it was the name given to the hill that had a Belgian colonial prison at the top. Was it just a fenced meteorological station? Kickboxers used to train near the floor remains. Arua Town was established on 14th June 1914 and Arua Hill SC (formed in 2010 as Doves FC) got promoted to UPL for the first time on the eve of Arua's 107th anniversary. If you support Arsenal FC from London, then it can be relatively easy to drift towards Arua Hill because of the red and white jersey design; also have blue in it. Arua City and District got their names from this hill with a GOD engineered 7-star, 360-degree panoramic view of the entire locality. A very strategic spot for security cameras with zooming capabilities, this place is like an Eye in the Sky plus the source of the small but amazing Osu River and other springs. The hill is visible in the background during Arua Hill SC matches at Barifa Playground. The Arua Hill Stadium & Business Park is located at the northwestern foot of Arua Hill on Plot 1 Pakwach Highway...

Kakaparaka or Kakapati?

After Onduparaka took Ugandan Premier League football by storm in 2016, who knew that there would be another club from Arua City with a similar effect in 2021, something like "Kakaparaka or Kakapati [Lugbara Translate: Maize-stem or Maize stalk]", if not bigger? Jinja is adventurous, KLA City has class, Rwenzori is wonderful but Arua is the Sweetest Place (on Earth) since 1914, tasty like mango juice concentrate, no sugar added. With the motto "Tualu ama kongolo [Lugbara Translate: Together we are strong], I guess the time is ripe for Arua Hill Sports Club (previously called Doves All-Stars before Joel Aita bought 100 percent shares) and the "Hill of GOD" to shine more. One of the villages in Arua Hill Division [Gombolola or Subcounty] is called Anyafio which used to be reserved for Whites; it's part of Mvara Ward where the Anglican Mission is located. "Anya fi yo" means "No millet seeds" in Lugbara and was probably named that way because of no big farms in the concretised area. However, maize (like Operation Wealth Creation's Longe7H variety) is planted in the small homestead gardens around the 3 wards (Awindiri, Bazaar & Mvara); kaka ripens for anybody by GOD's grace: Kaka fi ci! One very funny thing about Arua Hill Division is that you can go to Kenya, Zambia, Sudan, Congo, (N)Sambya plus (the) Coast without leaving the Gombolola, heehee! Many zones in the rest of the Arua Area are actually named after famous destinations including Tanganyika Ward, Dubai Village, Malaba, Kampala Market, Casablanca, Makutano Junction, Mutukula, etc. Arua Hill Gombolola used to have "Hotel California" but now renamed to Hotel Arua. The 3rd Agofe of Lugbara Kari (His Highness Culu [Mr.] Jason Avutia) resides in the division which is also the location of the Presidential Lodge, Heritage Park and Courts, Oasis Inn, Crane Resort, Borderlands, Westnile TV, Desert Breeze Hotel, Golf Course (one of the 22 cells of Arua Hill in 2018: Maize is actually planted in the 9-hole green course with a diagonal boulevard after the Spring rains start in March), Emmanuel Cathedral and many other places of interest. Osu River starts from under the foot of Arua Hill, flows northwards adjacent to Osu Village and then bends eastwards before Ombaci. The top of Arua Hill [read Heal] is the place I go to sometimes when I want to chill, relax or reset. Welcome to United Gombololas (UG)! Arua is African, refreshing, unchained & amazing...

Arua 'Be (wereari) [Lugbara Translate: Arua Hill]

MUNGU ni ambo! Distrikiti Arua dri woro esu ima ru 'be werea 'di si; 'be nde agaa ndua kilili. Eri vini onyiru ambamba; agu ka tu 'bua 'dale, eco angu ne re pere Oluko-a, Pajulu-a, Onduparaka-a azini Ewuata-a. Azirisi angu ni ambi 'be dria ndriza azini ozoo ni e'de 'ba dria, te etu ni vini 'ba ve ra. Indrika pati eti ni kanisi jo. Aria esele karakara ekile gaagaa, amamu, 'bi'bia, ohelu, aria were eka, kolikolia, yuku aziri pibe onga 'be dria ongo be o'du driasi. Voice Of Life (VOL), Nile FM (okalamvu aluri-a Bornfree Technologies Network TV tro), Access (Arua City) FM, National Water, Hilltop Hotel, (Muljibhai) Arua Hill Primary School, Rocks & Roots, Arua Full Gospel Church azini mulongoti kampuni-simu-ni ndundu 'be ma dria kani ageia ci. 'Di YHWH [MUNGU] ma 'Be...

United Gombololas (UG)

Brown & Grey...

United Gombololas (UG) is a joke book compiled by Aiko to make you giggle or smile. It contains some of the funniest, ribcracking, two-sentence ideas I have heard, seen or thought in the Pearl of Africa, accompanied with the tune of "Falling" by ALLAN TONIKS ft. FILLE...

Why do you always go to church? To eat JESUS bread, drink HIS wine and ask GOD for food.

Which European country is a Black person? Monte-negro.

Why was Elijah taken to Heaven? Because Queen Jezebel wanted to play him like Naboth.

What advice would you give the youth in your former school? Just be yourself but wear deodorant!

Which banknote reminds you of Leila Chandiru (singer)? Embeleke [50,000 UgX].

Are you keeping up with the Kardashians? No, am keeping up with the Kagutas.

What did Daddy Andre tell Nina Roz? Tugende mu Church [Let us go to Church]! 

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy! No it makes him a very skilled worker.

Why did Italy win Euro 2020? Because it's coming to Rome.

If Express is the Oldest Football Club in Uganda, then which is the newest? New-press.

If GOD is the Father of JESUS and JESUS is GOD, then who is HIS grandfather? GOD the Grandfather.

Why didn't Eddy Kenzo play Adam and Eve with Rema? Because she gave the forbidden fruit to another man.

What's worse: Being broke or having HIV? Having HIV while broke.

Why do leopards have too many spots? Because of chicken pox got from eating stolen chicken.

Noah built the ark but who built the Ark of the covenant? Noah's descendant.

What's lion pupu used for? To make lion soap.

Imagine Arua was a drink, what would it be? Arua juice.

If men go to Mengo, then where do boys go? Wobulenzi.

Where do girls go? Kawaala.

Your friend is boring! No, you're the one who does not understand his entertainment.

Why did you join MTN? Because it uses the NRM colour.

Where do loners go to ride in a bus? Barcelona.

Which animal would win Miss Curvy pageant? The hippopotam-ass.

Who killed Captain Alex? Wakaliwood.

What hairstyle did Navio tell the barber to fashion on his head? A clear cut.

If JESUS fed 5,000 men with only five loaves and two fish, then how come the disciples collected 12 baskets of leftovers just like HE fed 4,000 men with seven loaves and seven baskets of leftovers were collected? It's called additional mathematics.

Which professionals should not enter heaven first? Soldiers, prostitutes and tax collectors.

Can money buy love? It depends on how much love costs.

Why did Delilah betray Samson? Because he had more hair than her.

Is that black babe from Tennessee? Yes, she is the only 10 (ten) I see.

Who is the only man who can drink a bucket full of porridge? Golola Moses of Uganda.

What do sengas really do? They teach women how to pee and men how to make women pee.

Why are universities called "places for higher education"? Because scholars smoke weed.

Name an American actress who is not a fruit! Halle Berry.

Which Ugandan town is alcoholic? Kasese.

Do you believe in women's rights? Yes of course and lefts too.

Can money buy true love? No, but it can buy a wedding ceremony and divorce papers.

Twenty20

GODisgreat! A Picture speaks a Thousand Words, but a Logo summarises the Message to about 100 Words. Personally, I believe there are three basic Types of Logos: Mark, Typeface and Illustration (or Combination); a Logo System can be derived from these. I fancy descriptive Logos, but non-descriptive ones are also good. Art is amazing because you can create anything you want from Blankness; if you want to do Business with Aiko (Cartoonist), then just call +256-781-345712 (MTN) or +256-751-650276 (Airtel) or email: aikoug@gmail.com! Below are some of the Logo Design Gigs I have done. It's my Life, 25 Hours a Day. Welcome to my Logo Gallery:

55 Foundation [Use your Fingers and Time]

Adam & Eve

AikoGraphics [Custom-tailored Design, Art @ 1st Sight]

Arua Cartoons [Free your Imagination]

Block Owners [Crest in the SMACK League for my Old Yearmates, the Class of 2002]

Destiny Funeral Services

Federation of Uganda Clearing Agents & Freight Forwarders (FUCAFF) [for Uncle Jad]

Gender Equity [Women and Men have different Needs]

halo, a real Queen of Beauty

Leopard UG [Forgiveness]

Lugbara Translate

Maracha View [Rock my World!]

oneway, Ch.39 [If you have a Problem, then just look up to Heaven...]

Paint-mixing Diamond

Pearl of Africa

Procurement Classroom [valued at 100 US Dollars]

Procurement Initiatives Asia-Pacific [for Jorge Lynch in the Philippines]

Rats Network Investment Group (RNIG) [for Andrew Muhimbise]

Sprout Investment Club [commissioned by my Big Brother]

Uganda Clearing Industry and Forwarders Association (UCIFA)

Y-Corner [Either you go left, or go right...]; and so much more..

#GODisthegreatest...

Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem! (In the Name of GOD, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful!) Assalamu aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu (Peace be with you plus the Mercy of GOD en HIS Blessings!) If you walk through an uninhabited Desert Valley en find Artworks in a Gallery smack in the Middle, will you reason that they came into Existence by a sudden Cosmic Explosion? Is that how our Planet en the Universe came into Existence or were they created by GOD? The latter is my Design Theory. Sometimes you want to scream to GOD for Help, but (it's like) HE cannot hear you, you start to imagine that HE has forsaken you. I have never seen GOD (maybe just Engels disguised as tall Men with Blood en Bone like during Lots time) nor heard HIM speak to me in an audible Voice, nor felt HIM hug me, nor have I memorized the exact trademark Fragrance of HIS Presence but despite all my Psychosis, Hypocrisy, Sins, Blunders, Abnormalities, Iniquities, Imperfections, Miscalculations, Shortcomings, Problems, Errors, Weaknesses en Mistakes, I believe HE is the paramount Reason I remain irie. We are all born potential Sinners, but like everyone else I try not to be devilish.

Walt Disney once said, "Happiness is a State of Mind!" That's Real Talk - Life's a Gamble, it's discovering that GOD's Will is better than our funny Plans en Freedom is trusting that only HE can shelter us from Iblis, the Devil like a Mother protects her Baby from Snakes. GOD's Will be done! Satan en his Demons MUST Burn in Hell! We can resist or stab the devouring Beast but cannot kill it. We do not wrestle against Flesh en Blood but unseen Spirits. Fortunately, Isa (Jesus, the Messiah) is Superior! He'll be back like a Superhero, returning to save the World with a Sword from his Mouth (Neither Man of Steel, Wolverine, Zorro nor Deadpool match this), maranatha!

Money can buy Happiness but it's just a Number and mere Pieces of Financial Paper, multiplied here, deducted there; in fact, We trust in GOD, HE comes first. "If you have a Problem, then just look up to Heaven!" During an Argument with my Baba en Ma in 2003 concerning Campus Admission, I learnt from them that, "You do not have to waste Time crying over spilt Milk", drink Water! Or get more of what you want, GOD provides!

A Sorceress from Mombasa kept blaspheming GOD until one Friday Night when she almost fell on abandoned Razor-sharp barbed Wires in a Pit. She cried to GOD for Forgiveness en Engels held her.

One suicidal homosexual Thief named Dagon went to a Club, sat at the bar Counter drinking Spirits en smoking Tobacco grown in Hell to ease his Depression while cussing loudly, "GOD doesn't care, HE has failed me. If YOU freakin' exist, come get me out of here!" After a short while, a macho Guy wearing a black T-Shirt emblazoned with the Word "SECURITY" approached him en spoke, "Get out of here, GOD was too busy, so HE sent me to bounce you!"

Mendez, a proud Animist was lost in the deep blue Sea during a Storm that destroyed his Escape Raft en for the first Time, he begged GOD for Help. He was running away from the Police who wanted him for Drug-trafficking. Within two Minutes, a Man rowing a small Boat made from Banana Stems came by but he refused to board saying GOD would help, "He's supposed to come in a big Boat since he claims to be BIG." Later, a dark, big, stinking DDT Pesticide-spraying Helicopter lowered a Rope en the Non-believer again told the Pilot that he had alerted GOD to come save him. A Boy on a Jet Ski also passed by but the Pagan retorted the same Words. Then a (Legion) demon-possessed Great White Megalodon Shark in the dark Tide came en swallowed him. After Death, he asked GOD why HE didn't show up. GOD replied, "I sent the Boat, Air Rescue plus Jet Ski, but you stubbornly refused to be grateful."

In this Mirage of Life, I'm glad I discovered that "There is only oneGOD to fear, the Alpha en Omega (YHWH, JEHOVAH, MOST HIGH, MUNGU, THE GREAT SPIRIT, GOTT, ALLAH, ELOHIM, KATONDA, JAH, RUHANGA, DIO, DIOS, DEUS, SHANGDI, ALA, ZHENZHU, etc), may HIS Kingdom come..." Astaghfirullah! (Forgive us our Sins, GOD [as we ignore the Things that piss us off en save us from Hellfire]!) Alhamdulillah! (Thank you, GOD! [TQ; Danke; Asante; Webale; Yebare; Xiexie; Gracias; Dios bo'otik; Merci; Grazie; Afoyo; Tack; Ngiyabonga; Murakoze; Arigatogozaimashita; Gomabseubnida; E dupe; Na gode; Spasibo; Dekuji; Multumesc; Dziekuje Ci; Dyakuyu; Koszonom; Shukraan; San Kyu/ 39; Awadi 4 or Awania!])

Cheers!

YESU Mag: Homosexuality is an Evil Spirit...

The first week of October 2008 was awash with fresh news that homosexuality is contaminating a few born again churches in Uganda. Whether this is fabrication or gospel truth, all I know is that it’s all supernatural. I was in a single sex Catholic school for four years (1997 to 2000) and even the altar boys were accused of forming a homosexual group commonly known among peers as STC. Twenty students one year ahead of us were expelled due to this perversion. One notorious classmate though in Stream C was finally expelled during our Senior 4 simply because he was reported to have peeped at a Senior 1 in the latrine. During our Senior 2, he had tried to grab my ‘willy’ one Saturday morning but I woke up fast and chased him away like a nightmare. My earliest encounter with a homosexual came when some kid from the neighbourhood wanted me to be a ‘bitch’ and he tried to snog me but when he said our ‘willys’ should touch (like Frottage), I said ‘No’ and chased him out of my room. He even tried to steal my toy helicopter bought for me as a Christmas gift but my observation instincts were way ahead of his perversion. Tell Angela that I don’t love Ben (like a Homo); I can only love Esther, Ruth or Delilah!” Despite lusting for girls during childhood, I fought my battles well. I never gave in to homosexual thoughts even if people practiced the vice. Many verses in the Quran condemn Homosex and one of them Surah Al Araf (Chapter 7) says in Verse 80, "And remember Lot when he said to his People, Do ye commit a Wickedness, wherein no Creature has set you an Example? Do ye approach lustfully unto Men, leaving the Women? Certainly ye are People who transgress all Modesty."

Flashback 24th June 2000: In the night from Friday evening to Saturday morning, I got up from my bed and went outside the dorm to pee in the loos. While outside, I saw a student walking slowly. He was coming from either the Kakoozan or Mugwanyan Senior 3 and 4 wing. I ignored him for a moment but when I looked at him again, I saw him walking towards the door of our Lourdelian Senior 3 and 4 wing. I couldn’t figure out the appearance of his face because it was dark. However, I noticed that he was wearing black trousers and jacket and he wasn’t short but rather of a medium height. After this, I went to class where I met J. Nkosa and R. Muliika (We nicknamed him the ‘First Black Pope’). At about 20 minutes to 4 AM, Nkosa left the class after telling me to wake him up and R. Kazibwe as well (at 5 AM like I used to wake up guys as Timekeeper the previous year). Muliika followed him at around 4 AM. Because I was the only guy reading in 4A and also because I was fearful that I couldn’t protect myself if foreigners invaded the school, I decided to go to Senior 2B which is at the safer end of the Administration Block. (We were robbed on Independence Night - 9th October 1997 - while in Senior 1 adjacent to Senior 2B - My beloved Longman Dictionary was taken from Muliika’s unlocked desk, saw it on sale at Nasser Road, Kampala - and also during our Senior 4 despite the presence of Group 4 Security but this time nothing of mine was snatched). I read for only 50 minutes and at a few minutes to 5 AM, I switched off the lights in 2B. While going down the steps outside 2B, I met Lugemwa and Mutex who were proceeding to our stream. I only bypassed them without a greeting. At the quadrangle gate, I met Ssekitto who was also proceeding to class and I talked to him for a short while. When I stepped onto the verandah of our Lourdelian Wing, I heard people’s voices. Because I was curious to know what was going on (Curiosity killed the cat – I must have had the Eye of a Leopard), I stopped, turned to face the Kiwanukan showers and saw a number of people moving towards the verandah on which I was standing. They seemed rare persons in the dark but I never wanted to believe that they were non-SMACKists, the tall P. Nyanzi could have been among them. I tried to recognize their voices but failed. They drew closer to me at a constant and slightly quick speed. What would you do if you saw the cursed pirates who had turned into ghosts in the movie “Pirates of the Caribbean” drawing closer to you like they are about to attack anything in their way? When the mob reached a certain murram path in front of the dorm, I became afraid and thought that they were coming to attack me so I ran towards my bed on the extreme end of the Senior 4 wing and just sat while gently placing my books on it. I didn’t even try to pretend that I had been sleeping. Immediately, the dorm which I had found quiet milliseconds ago became alive. The mob wielding sticks shouted for the lights to be put on because I hear someone had been trying to rape a Senior 3 Mugwanyan and ran into the Lourdel wing. Can you imagine a rape in a single sex Catholic school (with boys only)? We lived in a quadrangle. The only way out was either the single main gate or the forbidden “Air France” (through the glass windows) and over the fence. Now where had the guy passed? He must still be inside, the mob reasoned. Someone bravely came up and said the guy had passed near my bed, probably stepped on my blue metallic trunk (case) which was on the floor and gone through the window because he heard footsteps towards my bed. Wondering what would happen if the guys believed that it was me and suddenly lynched me, I walked out courageously as if I had just woken up to pee. When I came back I told guys what had happened and why I had run in. “I was scared” was all I said and the dorm quietened. These guys knew that I had always tried to portray a “saintly” disposition and such a thing would be unheard of in my profile scrapbook. I wasn't sinless, but I made effort to achieve Regeneration Holiness. [In fact, exactly 17 days before that night, an ancestral dragon of pretended holiness had been cast out of me by a brotherhood of born again Pentecostals led by Ray', a Senior 4 classmate in the B Stream and PL, the outsider who owned some businesses at our school.]

Homosexuality is simply an evil spirit. I heard that there were evil spirits roaming around our college; I’m not saying I was a Homo before the exorcism but who exactly was the culprit that night? The assault scandal took one week to evaporate and all along this time I was very worried what my family would think if I was falsely charged with attempted rape of a boy, of all humans, a boy and then suspended, expelled or imprisoned. Close to the end of the critical week while returning from the showers, I heard a classmate tell his buddies that he had no doubt it was me. Whether this was a joke to make them smile or not, I took it as one. You will never catch Aiko trying to rape a boy; NEVER! Another Friday Night in Senior 4, as I headed for the usual weekly Prayers for Bornagains behind the SMACK Library, a Schoolmate in a lower Class (probably S1 or 2) walked a few Metres infront of me towards the same Venue. Behind me leaving his Office Area was the Headmaster (Brother Edward Bukenya). I sensed he was following the two of us as I bypassed my Class at the End of the Block, but pretended that I had not noticed him. So when I reached behind the Library, I quickly told the Youngman to go pray on the extreme End of the Library. I waited on the nearer Corner for the Headmaster to try and ambush us. As he peeped, I watched him but was very glad I had thought ahead. He arrested us immediately and took us back to his Office accusing us of wanting to practice Homosexuality in the dark while other People watched Movies. (I knew the Entertainment Prefect in Senior 3 and the VHS Movies he usually picked were from the same Video Library in Bukoto on Kisaasi Road where I also rented Tapes. I had seen many of them during the Holidays, so I skipped most Movie Nights). Brother Bukenya commanded us to write Sorry Letters confessing the Sin we were planning to commit in the dark, but in defiance, I wrote that we were praying and if he expels us for nothing, GOD would "punish" him. When he read my Note, he let us both go.

Thank GOD none of the seniors at SMACK ever approached me to appease their lusts. Maybe I was too ugly, thank GOD for that! Do you see cocks jumping on cocks, bitchdogs sleeping with bitchdogs, or bulls mating with bulls? Homosexual marriage is unnatural; forget the instances in some lizards. Bum-drilling is taboo. There is no Problem with "philia" (Brotherly Love) or Sisterhood but taking it to the next level is just gross, you have to play by the Rules not the Game. Even if all the Women on Earth rejected me, I cannot become a Homo! Leviticus 18: 22 says, "You must not lie with a Man as with a Woman. This is a hateful Thing." Also, Leviticus 20: 13 adds, "The Man who lies with a Man in the same Way as with a Woman: they have done a hateful Thing; they must die, their Blood shall be on their own Heads." During Senior Five (Advanced Level), there was a bi-spectacled guy who liked holding my hand, but I abhorred it, so most times I withdrew my hand but courteously tolerated him as a brother from the next class. He used to call me "Guti" like the good-looking Real Madrid player in the early 2000s and visited my combination class regularly to see me plus others. When I learnt that he had been expelled from Macos for homosexuality, I believed it even though he never spoke about it to me. I just didn’t like the way he was fond of me yet we had just spoken for a few months. His gay history at Mwiri was also revealed at morning assembly. I wouldn’t have given in if he ever asked but there are people who do just because of financial constraints. I hear Homos have money and they enjoy recruiting desperate "scoobies". Being a homo doesn't make you rich. As Ugandans, we need to know how much Money we really need or want to avoid traps that will unbowel us simply because of the Love of Donor Money! Being dead broke is the Root of All-Evil, so get Good Money or die unpolluted but get rid of this Alternative Lifestyle! Some suggest it is a Family Planning Method, but it isn’t okay even secretly. Parents shouldn’t pressurize their unemployed children to get jobs and money; it might drive them into such activities. Be content with whatever GOD gives after you tithe in Church, Mosque or Synagogue! What we need is to be entrepreneurs and job-creators! I'm not claiming to be holier than homos; I have my Iniquities too, but all the major Scriptures condemn Homosexuality, which means it’s either done out of Rebellion or Ignorance.

GOD created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve nor Amanda and Eve. It is not good for a man to marry a fellow man. Moses married Zipporah, not a man. A man cannot be a wife, neither can a woman be a husband.

"Then the LORD rained on Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; and overthrew those cities; and all the valley, and all the inhabitants of the cities and what grew on the ground. But Lot's wife behind him looked back and she became a pillar of salt..." - GENESIS 19:24-26

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of GOD? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor HOMOSEXUALS, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the Kingdom of GOD..." - 1 CORINTHIANS 6:9-10

I have never been a homosexual and will never be even if it costs me everything, but I know about demons influencing sexuality. Every animal has chemicals that will make it desire to mate. I'm not an exception, but I only fancy females. In Primary 7, I was told that I had a dirty mind. Truth be told, my secret dream was to set up Uganda's First 24/7 Hardcore Pornography TV Station like in the Netherlands, whether on registered cable or forbidden underground. Porn is powerful, it can make you do evil things by making them appear glorious like fornicating, adultery, oral sex, gay sex, anal sex, bondage sex, cunnilingus and masturbation - one of the ways homosexuals please their partners. But even if you masturbate yourself or your wife does, it is still evil. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus says, "...everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." The 7th Commandment given to Moses at Mount Sinai also says: DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY. So how can masturbating be right? I first jerked off in January 1997, two months before joining the only all-boys school I have ever enrolled into, and a certain bewitchingly clean Black girl was on my mind. Straight Talk Newspaper even wrote that it is not evil. However, I prayed to GOD that if I did it 100 times, HE must kill me. I even once heard strange laughter from the top of a tree while doing it at night, maybe it was a demon. In P7, we only had male teachers, but in Senior 1, I got to see female teachers again. In the first English lesson, I do not remember why the teacher called us to the front, but I went and touched her butt while she was standing behind the table. She then gave us a paper for writing our names and while I was writing mine, she came and stood behind me to read what I was writing. I bet mine was one of the first names she could remember. I later found out that her husband is actually my namesake. I was always eager to answer her questions even if some classmates weren't interested in her lessons, I did not care afterall she was a woman. It's not that I wanted to sleep with her but I had an affinity towards certain women. I was in the chapel choir (which I quit without regret after third term) but I just did not understand why my hormones couldn't shut up: I drew naked women. I felt uneasy in my spirit, and even my eldest sister once said that I must be possessed because of the disrespect in my tongue, but never believed demons could reach me until one night in 1997 when I was alone in class after midnight. I sat in the third column out of four in our class, somewhere in the middle rows and suddenly, the desks in the second row began jumping from front to back. It's like a giant serpent passed under them. Immediately, I fearfully packed up my books, padlocked my desk locker, switched off the light and ran to the quadrangle. In the last week of second term, I got a constant pounding headache that would only ease up when I closed my eyes. I got tinted spectacles during the holidays until I lost them in 2002, defects were blamed on watching too much TV and bright lights, but I felt it was all demonic. GOD probably allowed them to punish me for my lust and other sins. I even had a number of X-rays for complaining about constant chest pressure and pain but all results showed that my heart and ribcage were shaped okay. On Tuesday 2nd December 1997, I asked Jesus Christ to come into my heart and get rid of any demons before they drag me to hell. Another time, I ran from a darkened chicken house feeling an evil presence coming towards me, hit an avocado tree with my head and fell down backwards but got up immediately and bolted again.

I did not see wet dreams until 2001 (at age 17). Naturally, sperms accumulate in males and after sometime, they find a way out to leave room for new sperms. I read somewhere that Missionary sex in marriage (male and female partners facing each other) is the Holiest Way to expel sperms. Doggystyle is even reserved for Prostitution because it's animalistic. Nevertheless, wet dreams also expel sperms but are brought by fallen spirits or witches involved in astral sex. Do you remember the 200 angels that lusted for women on earth in Genesis, Book of Enoch and Jubiless? 20 of them were allowed to roam after the flood while the rest were locked away. There are also female marine spirits or mermaids. As a kid, we used to be warned of a red merman at a school near home, Lake Victoria was just hundreds of metres behind it. Some beautiful women in public places might be that kind. Engels actually walk on earth (Hebrews 13:2 and during Lot's time). When you open the door through pornography for a succubus (or incubus for women) demon angel to come into your life, it will seduce you because of its vast knowledge and experience. If you do not masturbate, fornicate or commit any other sexual sin, it will rape you when you sleep until you exorcise it [Check out http://www.yourghoststories.com/]. This is not fiction, many people hate masturbation (or fornication) but find themselves doing it because it is forced sex caused by a stubborn sex-obsessed demon which you cannot see but can feel [Check out Music Videos: "Omuzimu Gwa Nankya" by MERCY CROW (Ugandan) or "Karishika" by FALZ ft. PHYNO & CHIGUL (Nigerian)]. Some pastors, stand-up comedians plus health publications encourage masturbation but it is totally wrong. Hungarian Eudoxia Varga testified that she saw a vision of hell in which an unbelievably beautiful demon cast spells and convinced humans on earth to practice masturbation. Pornography makes masturbation irresistable because it turns you on. It is important for males to get circumcised early so that the temptation to masturbate wanes especially when they are washing the inside foreskin on their uncircumcised penis, my undoing in 1997. Masturbation is wicked, it is like onanism (coitus interruptus). Onan was the grandson of Jacob talked about in Genesis 38:9. The LORD showed a Zambian Lady called Inonge Mushala a section of hell for those who masturbate. It was dreary and desolate. She saw a woman chained with large shackles on a chair on which she was sitting burnt beyond recognition. Her gray and charred body looked like ash. She was in agony and was there because of masturbating during her earthlife. 1 Corinthians 7:9 says, "Get married instead of burning with passion (or lust)!"

It's funny that gays also have fashion/ beauty pageants too where they dress like women for a prize but real females need to cover their bodies properly, it helps the males. Muslim attire sets an example, but there are many other decent fashions like North Pole or Russian dressing plus the Nigerian wear with headscarf, to mention a few. As a male, I understand the chemical reaction that exposed breasts and enticing thighs can ignite in a man unless he resists the pleasant attraction. Some women copy the wrong fashions, even trousers were meant for only men in Moses's time. Proverbs 5:19 says that a Man should let his wife's breasts satisfy him at all times, but not every woman is your wife. Therefore, women need to avoid exposing cleavage both infront and behind to every Tom, Dick and Harry! Do you see men walking around with their balls showing teasingly? Men also need to avoid "balancing" (sagging trousers or pants). Those are things that pimps and prostitutes (hoes, harlots, sluts) do, selling their sacred private parts just to get money for buying expensive hair extensions, weaves, wigs, perfumes and acidic cosmetics. Adam and Eve were created naked, but when they fell, GOD made for them clothes because he knew what could happen. Even native cultures that used to dress half naked had limits, but covering is very helpful. Unbelievably, some African women still dig in the garden barechested. The first campus girl I fell in love with caught my attention because of her scent and peaceful way she carried herself, but she had nice brown boobs too. I wanted to marry her and she wanted to finish her university studies. I never planned to ruin her studies and believed we could stack up the grades together (At least, having studied English seriously, I felt I wasn't too daft in academics), but we only related for 14 to 15 months before we grew apart when I took one of her many paper photos without permission. I had tried too hard to make her mine but growing apart made me ponder the difference between love and lust. Someone once told me a circulating rumour that girls would show me their thighs and I would do for them their courseworks yet it's just that I was not selfish with the little I knew. The rumours were not factual. For two consecutive nights though, I once had a totally decent Marketing discussion by invitation with six female classmates. Those two nights, when I got back to my hostel, I slept like a baby, no dreams, no nightmares, nothing, just smooth peaceful sleeping till dawn, but woke up with nocturnal emissions. How they happened, I cannot explain but appreciated the power of the mind even if you program it to do the right thing. Women are not sex objects, its an image planted in our minds by our fallen bodies. One wife should be enough for any man. While going to school in Jinja, I used to buy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles chewing gum from a store on Main Street owned by the parents of a demon-possessed (so they said) Muslim friend of mine. His mother was so beautiful that I asked myself why a Muslim hajj needs a second wife when he already has one like my friend's mum. Problems can arise naturally in the real world, but if it is lust, you need self control that only the Holy Spirit brings. I feel sorry for convicted rapists and arrested sex offenders or defilers like the one I met in jail around February 2005. He told me and another jailbird that the 14 year old girl who accused him of defilement actually asked for sex, then denied asking for it. True story, young girls can be quite touchy but you have to resist the temptations or end up in jail. If only brideswealth, dowry or marriage fees were cheap, then so many sexual sins in the world might be minimised. Men also need to renew their minds. Humans can still breathe without frequent sex, they are not ferrets.

Sex frequency is overrated; It should be reserved mainly for procreation and bonding between married individuals, not just recreation. Why should something so wrong make us feel so right? Prostitutes, gigolos and call girls will run out of business and save themselves by doing alternative trades. Fornicators, adulterers, rapists and defilers should also control themselves, Holy Spirit can help! We need to keep asking, seeking and knocking. Male homosexuals can marry and enjoy female partners instead, there is German juice and Ugandan juice in the east, west, north and south. Why lust after a fellow man? Why does money and lust mess us up like this, or is it just invisible devils? Anal sex and masturbation are evil and demonic. There are so many alternative things to think about on earth instead of gay marriage or gay rights (like America since 2015 and some European countries). Only GOD can judge LGBTIQs, but HIS Law says homosexuality aint holy nor wise. Like Michael Jackson (who was being accused of sodomising young boys) sang in "Stranger in Moscow", LORD have Mercy! We are talking 'Danger!'...