People will hear the systems thump when you roll in life. The O.B. is not just your Old Boy but freakingly your Onion Boy (the O-Boy), a Ladies Man, Family Man and Best Friend. He’s back in the flesh feeling so blessed. He loves thick, cute, fleshy and swollen monocotyledons that can cause a crush and titillate his eyes. He wants to touch, hold and feel them. “I love these bulbs and their onion juice. But never let onions make you visually impaired!” warns your friendly neighbourhood Onion Boy…
Are you a Pimp?
How many women does a man really need? Lidz in the “Southside” video tells Lloyd to “allow only three great women in his life.” (Did he mean mum, sister and girlfriend or just three lovers?) What will he do with all the three? How much time will he need to dedicate to satisfy each one of them? Okay, forget the time. The issue is how you get the three! Do you use Shakespeare’s lines or read volumes of poetry books? I hear poetry turns women on. Hahaha! Hogwash…How many women did the great poets have? Talk about money and almost any daughter of Eve can shake her ‘glorious maximus’ for you. Ask Akon after he performs “Bonanza [Belly Dancer]” in a concert near your town [how they shake it]! Don’t be shy. (Maybe he will come back to Kampala for you, let’s wait and keep on calling.)
Another idea is the wisdom of men. Can fools really face up to the challenge? King Solomon of Israel was truly the Wisest Pimp in human history: 700 wives and 700 concubines must be a Guinness Book of Records Milestone somewhere. Ignore guys who claim to have slept with 432 bitches or more. I am talking about real wives, not bitches. So does that mean, we bachelors looking for only one partner are silly and unwise? Maybe Poetry doesn’t work.
The Quran allows men to marry up to four wives and when you get to heaven (Jana), you will have more female companions (houri) with big beautiful eyes. The Bahai Holy Writings prescribe not more than two.” If you are contented with only one among the maidservants of GOD, both you and she will live in tranquility”. That is also the Christian teaching spread by Saint Paul (in the epistles to Christ’s early church). If you didn’t know, GOD was not happy with Solomon’s 1400 companions; too much lust (according to the Mormon Bible). “I don’t know what you heard about me”. I’m broke…
[Original article written in 2005 (Bracketed words added in 2008)]
Monday
Mission: Impossible UG…
“WHEN we go to court, I’ll be winning the case…” raps Navio in Klear Kut’s rhythmic breakthrough collaboration with songstress Juliana Kanyomozi of the IJ Fame (in the hit-song “All I Wanna Know”). Although produced in 2000, this bouncy party song actually won a deserved PAM Award (Pearl of Africa Music Awards started in 2003, you can call them Ugandan ‘Pammys’ like the US ‘Grammys’). It seems that even in the studio Klear Kut will be winning the battle.
KK has a clear cutting edge in quality. Some good challengers, though solo artistes, ever since Ugandan Hiphop started growing fast in the first decade of this millennium are the free-rhyming Lyrical G, plus the very talented, knowledgeable, patriotic and socially conscious GNL (He'll kick it beyond Hot 100 FM to TV; GNL’s got what it takes to be the Greatest. He is the first signed Ugandan rapper. Platinum Entertainment signed up his record label Baboon Forest Entertainment Limited. Klear Kut works with him; Myth actually confessed that “GNL is the illest (Most Awesome) Ugandan rapper today”. He dresses hiphop, always walks with a swagger and never lacks poetry in his mind. GNL even won the Impala Award for Poetry in the whole of Africa. But what does GNL mean? Well, according to Aztec Wisdom, “At the highest level of self expression, you achieve [GNL] Greatness of No Limit”).
Ragga Dee is originally a ragga artist but he’s got some very hot crowd-moving rhyming skills you can categorise as hiphop. Rhythm and Blues guitarist Maurice Kirya is so real like hip-hop despite playing what the Mugwere - Munyoro lad describes as Fusion Music. I have loved his beats ever since I first heard him play and think his talent is truly phenomenal. There is also a free flowing Rapper who makes Lusogo sound beautiful, Babaluku is cool, Enygma is a very enigmatic Word-smith, Keko's Perception makes sense, Rocky Giant rocks, Lady Slyke is amazing, Sizza Dictionary flows, AK47 is Ragga Talent, Raba Daba tomusobola, Young Zee can speak, King Arthur is out of this world and Atlas will take you on a trip...
Klear Kut’s Navio, Mith (the Fattest - He’s “not a category but a catalogue…”) and the short guys Aba & Missing Link (Wasn't that JB back then?) sound so American you would be excused to think that they are gang-bangers. Of course this gang is dangerous in a lyrical sense, try them, you'll get hurt. Meanwhile, the Fifth element Papito has something for the European audience or Franco-phone speakers around the world with his French vibes. He can also spit Swahili and so he is Microsoft Certified for Windows 2005. Their albums are pieces of magic. No wonder MTV Base came to East Africa, that's Worldwide Recognition! Next achievement for the franchise: Immortality, I guess.
KK has a clear cutting edge in quality. Some good challengers, though solo artistes, ever since Ugandan Hiphop started growing fast in the first decade of this millennium are the free-rhyming Lyrical G, plus the very talented, knowledgeable, patriotic and socially conscious GNL (He'll kick it beyond Hot 100 FM to TV; GNL’s got what it takes to be the Greatest. He is the first signed Ugandan rapper. Platinum Entertainment signed up his record label Baboon Forest Entertainment Limited. Klear Kut works with him; Myth actually confessed that “GNL is the illest (Most Awesome) Ugandan rapper today”. He dresses hiphop, always walks with a swagger and never lacks poetry in his mind. GNL even won the Impala Award for Poetry in the whole of Africa. But what does GNL mean? Well, according to Aztec Wisdom, “At the highest level of self expression, you achieve [GNL] Greatness of No Limit”).
Ragga Dee is originally a ragga artist but he’s got some very hot crowd-moving rhyming skills you can categorise as hiphop. Rhythm and Blues guitarist Maurice Kirya is so real like hip-hop despite playing what the Mugwere - Munyoro lad describes as Fusion Music. I have loved his beats ever since I first heard him play and think his talent is truly phenomenal. There is also a free flowing Rapper who makes Lusogo sound beautiful, Babaluku is cool, Enygma is a very enigmatic Word-smith, Keko's Perception makes sense, Rocky Giant rocks, Lady Slyke is amazing, Sizza Dictionary flows, AK47 is Ragga Talent, Raba Daba tomusobola, Young Zee can speak, King Arthur is out of this world and Atlas will take you on a trip...
Klear Kut’s Navio, Mith (the Fattest - He’s “not a category but a catalogue…”) and the short guys Aba & Missing Link (Wasn't that JB back then?) sound so American you would be excused to think that they are gang-bangers. Of course this gang is dangerous in a lyrical sense, try them, you'll get hurt. Meanwhile, the Fifth element Papito has something for the European audience or Franco-phone speakers around the world with his French vibes. He can also spit Swahili and so he is Microsoft Certified for Windows 2005. Their albums are pieces of magic. No wonder MTV Base came to East Africa, that's Worldwide Recognition! Next achievement for the franchise: Immortality, I guess.
Sunday
(Sir) Samuel Apedel
Hey Sunday Vision readers, do you know who used to be the co-editor of this fantastic weekend magazine from Uganda's leading daily? Well, now he moved to the internet department. I do not care if Queen Elizabeth knighted him or not while he was in Scotland but I still call him Sir because he paved one-way for me by leading through example besides being my lecturer at UCU. His name is Sir Samuel Baker, ahem excuse me, did I just mention the ancient explorer from Britain? I'm sorry I meant Sir Samuel Apedel, now you know.
Every one has a hero, no wonder some friend in Zambia phoned and told Apedel that he had named his son after him. By 2005, Samuel had a BA (Lit, ESL) MUK; Dip (BMA) Cambridge and M.A (C.S) Leeds. If there is one person I need to thank for giving me the grind to publish my ideas for widespread public consumption, it has to be ‘Uncle Sam’. What’s up with me and Itesots; why do my best associates mainly come from Teso Kere? Anyway, every time I publish an article in the newspapers or magazines, people call or beep me to acknowledge my modest wit. I’m an ordinary Ugandan who did not know which way to go until Apedel showed me one-way.
My Campus faculty dean - Ben Bella Illakut -thankfully addressed my 2005 internship Application Letter to the New Vision (one among the lucky few Mass Commers; the rest had ‘To whom it may concern’) but the Editor in Charge I was sent to for an interview said there was not enough money to hire many from UCU (though Mwiza, ‘Doryn’, Esther and Brens had practice there). Most interns were MUK students. I did not weep about the failed attempt but met Mr. Apedel and told him about my situation. What he advised me at the entrance of the NV block in April 2005 will always remain a landmark in my writing career. Personally, I did not fancy reporting breaking or daily news in newspapers and TV. My heart went out to cartooning or writing features, like the investigative infotainment style you read in Encyclopedias or watch on ‘CNN Presents’. Features do not call for tight deadlines like current news; so when Mr. Apedel told me to just ‘write letters or 600 word columns on any topical issues’, I knew I would gain my space.
I got down in an unused store (Formerly a retail shop for my parents) and brainstormed ideas from 7am to 4pm on certain days. For one month, I had no breakthrough until one Sunday when I called ‘the Man’ to ask if I should send my letters to the weekday editors too, instead of addressing them to only Sunday Vision which had limited letter space. Coincidentally, that was the day (Sunday 19 June 2005) probably my first letter was published. When he informed me that he had put one of my letters “Kudos to Saggy and Bad Idea”, I was overjoyed and gleefully went to purchase my Sunday Vision. That was the start of many letters including “Give Aid to the Hungry”; “Build Giant Solar Stations” [There’s a lot of barren land in game parks upcountry that can be used for development]; “I Simply Love my Sunday Paper”; “The West Owes Us”; “Mwenda Should Emulate VOA’s Ssali”; “Kudos to Gaagaa Coach”; “Congratulations SMACK OBs”; “Pray for Somalia”; “Leave Inzikuru Alone” [One Kenyan classmate called her my Girlfriend because I knew an intimate secret Dorcas had told someone else who also told me] and one whose title ‘Respect Mothers’ I dreamt was published before even writing the content matter. I also published in Daily Monitor (Wenger - the Miracle Economist; Survival Football), African Woman plus Premiership Magazine besides actually receiving a 2008 World Bank Certificate for yapping too much. To-date though, I have reduced on the yapping in newspapers. But thanks to New Vision’s impeccable editing, I managed to see that people should be able to grasp the gist of your opinions in a few words or else you will fail to communicate ideas professionally. My Wordiness is probably ‘my Weakness’ (A 2002 confession that made my Economics classmates laugh hard) but thanks to GOD and the Google geeks, Blogger.com has no Word Limits for my weakness, Hee hee!
Apedel’s compellingly relevant course (Media Issues and Society) at UCU 2005 included Freedom of speech and Censorship/ The Media and the Individual vs. Public/ Media and Culture (What is popular culture?)/ Media Effects (Audience Study & Analysis): What actually happens when somebody reads a newspaper? / Advertising/ Globalisation and the Media/ Media Ownership and Editorial Independence/ Media and Democracy/ Going Digital/ plus the New vs. Old Media. He taught us that “A blog is short for web log. It liberates ordinary people to become journalists.” I love sharing knowledge because I have seen it set people free and propel them forward. Even if I’m not acclaimed as a successful journalist, I think blogging is the way to go as a knowledge worker though I took 3 years (4 years after Douglas Bowman designed the ‘Rounders 4’ Blogger template style) to get going after a motivational spark from another student of Apedel named Sharpe Cole Nimusiima (His blog is www.sharpeseye.blogspot.com). The reason why I did journalism was NOT because I wanted CNN to vote me the Best “Journalist” in the World but because I admired TV, radio, books, newspapers, etc … The content in the Media industry can lift up your downtrodden spirit plus show you how the world works. What is life without intelligence? Through my Journalism course, I wanted to learn how to make knowledge work for me in order to help others in whichever way I was built to do. Imagine one day, I walk into the Media Centre upstairs and find Mr. Apedel sitted at his desk with a computer, I wouldn’t mind sharing any good ideas if he asks me…
Here is a collection of some of Apedel’s wise quotable quotes while I was his student, though he did not tell us to write these as notes [My comments are in brackets]:
“When your friend dies, you should achieve what he hasn’t achieved…”
“The Most Successful People are not necessarily the cleverest …” [Some of them are very sharp in deed]
“If you give a dog a bad name, it will live up to it.” [The same might apply to sheep plus he-goats like me]
“Northerners are known for dressing in shouting colours like Green Jeans, Yellow Trousers and Orange Shirts. [This was actually very funny to many classmates]
“You blame everybody and at the end of the day, you have no one to blame…but yourself.” [Here he was humorously philosophizing like a well adjusted human being]
“Hidden knowledge is no knowledge; you’ve got to test it…” [The gap between potential and achievement is putting your skills into action and letting the market polish them…]
“Show me someone who doesn’t like sex and I’ll show you a psychological dysfunction…If you are stupid enough to have sex, don’t be foolish not to use a condom.” [Only eunuchs - castrated men and maybe circumcised women can be celibate; the rest of us are just living and dying to ‘get laid’]
“Uganda is a poor country. According to IMF research, even the billionaires we talk about in Uganda aren’t ranked among the Richest. But in the whole of Africa, Uganda has been marked as the Most Resourceful country on the continent – because many people are entrepreneurial and desire to make money.”
“You just have time to go back to your room to sleep and gas only.” [Mr. Apedel was condemning our campus behaviour of wasting time instead of using it for meaningful things. Although shameful, I guess I had a similar lifestyle though mine also included listening to music while sleeping in the afternoon, and watching DStv through the night. A classmate to my sister two years behind who was also my hostel-mate once told me, “If you were reading your books, Uganda would be developed.” Even if he did not target that at me, GOD bless him if he did, there was a grain of salt in what he said. We need to put our brains to maximum use.]
“You should be sharp like (Uganda Cranes midfielder David) Obua, pass the ball (in) to the net.”
“I do not want to see that corridor that leads to the shit house.” [Here, he was expressing his displeasure at females who expose their behind (ass) by wearing G-Strings, a provocative fashion craze around 2005]
“I heard that someone in this class keeps thinking, ‘Emily makes the hair behind my head stand’…” [My first impression of this seemingly sarcastic statement was that he was mocking all of us boys who thought we could marry our classmates who were probably already booked by outside men. We had not yet achieved anything big with our lives and could not even take good care of ourselves yet we were eyeing our female classmates. The second impression, though paranoid, was that it was indirectly meant for me. In November 2003, I fell in love accidentally with some beauty in our class but jumped out around February 2005. To ease my heart in the remaining one year at UCU, I willingly tried to have an affair with another sexy & lovely classmate named Em’ since she boldly called me ‘boyfriend’. The brave get what they want, you know…I might have been naïve in steering relationships with females but one thing was certain: I always stay real. If the girl gets tired of me, my heart is wide open…she can walk away freely. Eve did not conceive only one beautiful daughter. So if Em’ was another pillar for me to lean on, even for just those moments, I did not care what classmates gossiped. I simply breathed on and Emily surely made the hair behind my head stand…]
“Newspapers are the prime movers in setting news agenda … TV is for idiots, radio is for semi-intelligent people while real intellectuals read newspapers. [The Internet somehow brought back the newspaper’s ability to break news. I’m glad to be a part of Google’s Online Newspaper franchise where every writer edits his work and can set the agenda for his readers]
“By living, you are actually dying…” [Another very philosophical idea]
Every one has a hero, no wonder some friend in Zambia phoned and told Apedel that he had named his son after him. By 2005, Samuel had a BA (Lit, ESL) MUK; Dip (BMA) Cambridge and M.A (C.S) Leeds. If there is one person I need to thank for giving me the grind to publish my ideas for widespread public consumption, it has to be ‘Uncle Sam’. What’s up with me and Itesots; why do my best associates mainly come from Teso Kere? Anyway, every time I publish an article in the newspapers or magazines, people call or beep me to acknowledge my modest wit. I’m an ordinary Ugandan who did not know which way to go until Apedel showed me one-way.
My Campus faculty dean - Ben Bella Illakut -thankfully addressed my 2005 internship Application Letter to the New Vision (one among the lucky few Mass Commers; the rest had ‘To whom it may concern’) but the Editor in Charge I was sent to for an interview said there was not enough money to hire many from UCU (though Mwiza, ‘Doryn’, Esther and Brens had practice there). Most interns were MUK students. I did not weep about the failed attempt but met Mr. Apedel and told him about my situation. What he advised me at the entrance of the NV block in April 2005 will always remain a landmark in my writing career. Personally, I did not fancy reporting breaking or daily news in newspapers and TV. My heart went out to cartooning or writing features, like the investigative infotainment style you read in Encyclopedias or watch on ‘CNN Presents’. Features do not call for tight deadlines like current news; so when Mr. Apedel told me to just ‘write letters or 600 word columns on any topical issues’, I knew I would gain my space.
I got down in an unused store (Formerly a retail shop for my parents) and brainstormed ideas from 7am to 4pm on certain days. For one month, I had no breakthrough until one Sunday when I called ‘the Man’ to ask if I should send my letters to the weekday editors too, instead of addressing them to only Sunday Vision which had limited letter space. Coincidentally, that was the day (Sunday 19 June 2005) probably my first letter was published. When he informed me that he had put one of my letters “Kudos to Saggy and Bad Idea”, I was overjoyed and gleefully went to purchase my Sunday Vision. That was the start of many letters including “Give Aid to the Hungry”; “Build Giant Solar Stations” [There’s a lot of barren land in game parks upcountry that can be used for development]; “I Simply Love my Sunday Paper”; “The West Owes Us”; “Mwenda Should Emulate VOA’s Ssali”; “Kudos to Gaagaa Coach”; “Congratulations SMACK OBs”; “Pray for Somalia”; “Leave Inzikuru Alone” [One Kenyan classmate called her my Girlfriend because I knew an intimate secret Dorcas had told someone else who also told me] and one whose title ‘Respect Mothers’ I dreamt was published before even writing the content matter. I also published in Daily Monitor (Wenger - the Miracle Economist; Survival Football), African Woman plus Premiership Magazine besides actually receiving a 2008 World Bank Certificate for yapping too much. To-date though, I have reduced on the yapping in newspapers. But thanks to New Vision’s impeccable editing, I managed to see that people should be able to grasp the gist of your opinions in a few words or else you will fail to communicate ideas professionally. My Wordiness is probably ‘my Weakness’ (A 2002 confession that made my Economics classmates laugh hard) but thanks to GOD and the Google geeks, Blogger.com has no Word Limits for my weakness, Hee hee!
Apedel’s compellingly relevant course (Media Issues and Society) at UCU 2005 included Freedom of speech and Censorship/ The Media and the Individual vs. Public/ Media and Culture (What is popular culture?)/ Media Effects (Audience Study & Analysis): What actually happens when somebody reads a newspaper? / Advertising/ Globalisation and the Media/ Media Ownership and Editorial Independence/ Media and Democracy/ Going Digital/ plus the New vs. Old Media. He taught us that “A blog is short for web log. It liberates ordinary people to become journalists.” I love sharing knowledge because I have seen it set people free and propel them forward. Even if I’m not acclaimed as a successful journalist, I think blogging is the way to go as a knowledge worker though I took 3 years (4 years after Douglas Bowman designed the ‘Rounders 4’ Blogger template style) to get going after a motivational spark from another student of Apedel named Sharpe Cole Nimusiima (His blog is www.sharpeseye.blogspot.com). The reason why I did journalism was NOT because I wanted CNN to vote me the Best “Journalist” in the World but because I admired TV, radio, books, newspapers, etc … The content in the Media industry can lift up your downtrodden spirit plus show you how the world works. What is life without intelligence? Through my Journalism course, I wanted to learn how to make knowledge work for me in order to help others in whichever way I was built to do. Imagine one day, I walk into the Media Centre upstairs and find Mr. Apedel sitted at his desk with a computer, I wouldn’t mind sharing any good ideas if he asks me…
Here is a collection of some of Apedel’s wise quotable quotes while I was his student, though he did not tell us to write these as notes [My comments are in brackets]:
“When your friend dies, you should achieve what he hasn’t achieved…”
“The Most Successful People are not necessarily the cleverest …” [Some of them are very sharp in deed]
“If you give a dog a bad name, it will live up to it.” [The same might apply to sheep plus he-goats like me]
“Northerners are known for dressing in shouting colours like Green Jeans, Yellow Trousers and Orange Shirts. [This was actually very funny to many classmates]
“You blame everybody and at the end of the day, you have no one to blame…but yourself.” [Here he was humorously philosophizing like a well adjusted human being]
“Hidden knowledge is no knowledge; you’ve got to test it…” [The gap between potential and achievement is putting your skills into action and letting the market polish them…]
“Show me someone who doesn’t like sex and I’ll show you a psychological dysfunction…If you are stupid enough to have sex, don’t be foolish not to use a condom.” [Only eunuchs - castrated men and maybe circumcised women can be celibate; the rest of us are just living and dying to ‘get laid’]
“Uganda is a poor country. According to IMF research, even the billionaires we talk about in Uganda aren’t ranked among the Richest. But in the whole of Africa, Uganda has been marked as the Most Resourceful country on the continent – because many people are entrepreneurial and desire to make money.”
“You just have time to go back to your room to sleep and gas only.” [Mr. Apedel was condemning our campus behaviour of wasting time instead of using it for meaningful things. Although shameful, I guess I had a similar lifestyle though mine also included listening to music while sleeping in the afternoon, and watching DStv through the night. A classmate to my sister two years behind who was also my hostel-mate once told me, “If you were reading your books, Uganda would be developed.” Even if he did not target that at me, GOD bless him if he did, there was a grain of salt in what he said. We need to put our brains to maximum use.]
“You should be sharp like (Uganda Cranes midfielder David) Obua, pass the ball (in) to the net.”
“I do not want to see that corridor that leads to the shit house.” [Here, he was expressing his displeasure at females who expose their behind (ass) by wearing G-Strings, a provocative fashion craze around 2005]
“I heard that someone in this class keeps thinking, ‘Emily makes the hair behind my head stand’…” [My first impression of this seemingly sarcastic statement was that he was mocking all of us boys who thought we could marry our classmates who were probably already booked by outside men. We had not yet achieved anything big with our lives and could not even take good care of ourselves yet we were eyeing our female classmates. The second impression, though paranoid, was that it was indirectly meant for me. In November 2003, I fell in love accidentally with some beauty in our class but jumped out around February 2005. To ease my heart in the remaining one year at UCU, I willingly tried to have an affair with another sexy & lovely classmate named Em’ since she boldly called me ‘boyfriend’. The brave get what they want, you know…I might have been naïve in steering relationships with females but one thing was certain: I always stay real. If the girl gets tired of me, my heart is wide open…she can walk away freely. Eve did not conceive only one beautiful daughter. So if Em’ was another pillar for me to lean on, even for just those moments, I did not care what classmates gossiped. I simply breathed on and Emily surely made the hair behind my head stand…]
“Newspapers are the prime movers in setting news agenda … TV is for idiots, radio is for semi-intelligent people while real intellectuals read newspapers. [The Internet somehow brought back the newspaper’s ability to break news. I’m glad to be a part of Google’s Online Newspaper franchise where every writer edits his work and can set the agenda for his readers]
“By living, you are actually dying…” [Another very philosophical idea]
Monday
Creativity is a Spirit...
(Aiko's Drawing of the Armour of Light)
“Every example of genius has a tincture of our neglected madness,” read one quote in a millennial encyclopedia. We always fall in love with movies, stories or songs when they relate with ideas or events that have happened in our lives. It’s the natural way our spirits get lifted. Ask yourself why you enjoy action movies? Maybe it’s because you were born to be a stuntman or you are just energetic.
Wednesday 7th May 2008 was not only exactly one year since the first issue of The Standard – UCU’s bi-monthly Community Newspaper (where I am Editorial Cartoonist) came out but also the day ‘Ironman’ was released in the United States. I had been stalking this movie for half a year while it was still in production (watching trailers and a few clips) but up to today when I posted this blog, I must confess that even if it is already in Uganda, I have not yet watched the whole of it. [Anyway, I finally got Iron-Man, on Tuesday 15 July 2008, from my friend Bashir K. who trades Music and Video Disks somewhere on Wilson Road] What I like most about this character is that he reminds me a lot about the whole Armour of GOD described in Ephesians 6: 10-20 [Truth (Belt tight around the waist); Righteousness (Breastplate); Readiness to announce the good news of peace (Shoes); Faith (Shield); Salvation (Helmet); and the Word of GOD (Sword which the Holy Spirit gives)]. In Ironman’s case, the sword would be force fields from the palm, missiles or bullets from his arm.
In September 2001, I had an idea to produce a comic about GOD’s armour entitled “Armour of Light: Ironclad” (though I made the first drawing copying a Batman image without the sharp ends above the head but a modified helmet on 7 November 2001. I re-drew it on Saturday 19th April 2003)…My comic would feature a man called Michael, actually the arch-angel in human form just like Jesus came to earth in human form, wrestling for humans against Lucifer’s snares. He would announce (as the Trumpeter) the return of Jesus on the Last Day of this Age...My first seven episodes would be: The Devil Must Die, Introducing the Armour of Light, Runaway Devil, Soul of an Angel, The Good Fight, Lucifer and Judgement Day.
Unfortunately somehow I never developed my project fast enough, and wrote the plot only on Valentines’ Day 2007. But there is a saying that “dreams come true”, (if we keep dreaming). Macos Old Boy Simon Wamahe once told me that you may have an idea but if you do not work on it, the spirit of the idea will depart from you and influence another creative mind. UCU Alumni Jude Muyanja also told me, “You dream and other people bring your dreams to life.” That’s very true because I did not know about this Ironman character but thanks to Jon Favreau and the artists at Industrial Light & Magic, the film’s vision is almost like mine (No wonder I also love Vin Diesel’s 1995 ‘Iron Giant’). Even though I noticed the similarities between AL:I and Ironman as late as 2007, I was very happy and YouTubed a soundtrack by Apologetix for the animated version of Ironman. This song was just another rendition of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” Oscar-winning Song. It highlighted the spiritual theme of this super-hero epic. I love heroes whose transition powers are believable and seem GOD-sent possibilities like Ironman, Batman, Fantastic Four and maybe Spiderman to some extent.
“Life sucks but the only way we can come out on top is to get our robes (like Wonder Woman), go out into the world and be heroes, using the extra-ordinary talents GOD gave each one of us…” The Psycho said so (though he borrowed the idea from a Nelly Furtado song). Despite tampering with the plot a little (The cartoon had villains from the Far East while the movie has villains from Afghanistan), I guess the whole film is a masterpiece. I was very excited when only after one month, MTV voted ‘Ironman’ as the Best Movie of the Summer 2008 So Far…Wow, check it out tonight!
Sinlessly Sweet History
This ain’t Kinyara Sugar from neighbours Masindi; this is 100 % organic Bee Natural Honey: sinlessly sweet and authentic Ugandan honey from around Arua. I read something very interesting on a Bee Natural Honey can in 2004 and felt it had to feature on my Website. Honey is a delicious sweetener that can be used to replace sugar in a variety of drinks. It is used as a spread or as a remedy for colds and loss of appetite. Also suitable for diabetics and contains 0 % fat.
Bee Natural Honey is harvested in West Nile and represents the Happy People called Lugbara who are a Sudanic-speaking people. They were originally known as the Madi and the term Lugbara is thought to have come from Khartoum Arab slavers in the 19th century. In their tradition, the first two human beings “Gboro-Gboro” (Male) and Meme (Female) were super human.
Some traditions only speak of Meme, whose womb GOD (Mungu or Adrou) filled with the living things of the world. Then a gazelle (not the Arua Gazelle Dorcas Inzikuru but probably her ancestor) made an opening in Meme’s womb by rupturing it with its hoof and all the worldly creatures came out; man was the last to come out.
The Lugbara have a clientage system called ‘Amadingo’ whereby the poor would be looked after by the rich. Such clients were treated as members of the family and could be given land if they wished to stay. Bride-wealth would even be paid for them when they wanted to marry.
Email: sales@bee-natural products.biz
(Packed in Ug by Bee Natural Products Limited)
Bee Natural Honey is harvested in West Nile and represents the Happy People called Lugbara who are a Sudanic-speaking people. They were originally known as the Madi and the term Lugbara is thought to have come from Khartoum Arab slavers in the 19th century. In their tradition, the first two human beings “Gboro-Gboro” (Male) and Meme (Female) were super human.
Some traditions only speak of Meme, whose womb GOD (Mungu or Adrou) filled with the living things of the world. Then a gazelle (not the Arua Gazelle Dorcas Inzikuru but probably her ancestor) made an opening in Meme’s womb by rupturing it with its hoof and all the worldly creatures came out; man was the last to come out.
The Lugbara have a clientage system called ‘Amadingo’ whereby the poor would be looked after by the rich. Such clients were treated as members of the family and could be given land if they wished to stay. Bride-wealth would even be paid for them when they wanted to marry.
Email: sales@bee-natural products.biz
(Packed in Ug by Bee Natural Products Limited)
Friday
Jesus X-st, the Assassin
GODisgreat! Jesus Christ (aka JX-st in gangsta lingual) once said,“Whoever believes in me believes in the father.” So that makes Muslims the brothers to Christians, right? Right! Okay, the Quran says that “All those who believe in Jesus will be superior to the non believers.” So that makes Hajjatis Christian sisters also, right? Come on!
Not all the ideas below are mine, some I captured from a BBC World Service Radio program on Religion around the middle of this decade but anyway, read on. According to Islam, Jesus was an important prophet. There is a diverging picture of details but the fact is: he was one of the prophets. A Muslim is incomplete without believing in the Jesus of the Anunciation (at the trunk of a palm tree) and Virgin Birth. [There is a “brook that runs at your feet. Shake the tree; it will drop fresh ripe dates in your lap, Mariam!”]
Other Arabic writings speak of forgiveness. Many Muslims know Jesus as the prophet of the Heart (Peace & Mercy); the Letter and Spirit of the Law. Isa is the Prophet before Muhammad, the Last Prophet. [Charity means do good to that person who does harm. He who is not born twice shall not enter heaven]
According to the Apocryphal Gospels considered legendary by the European churches, Jesus brought the dead to life, healed the sick, and made clay birds. Muslims believe he never died and resurrected but ascended directly to Heaven. Isn’t this a clash of civilizations with Christianity? Muslims also believe that he was a man born without a father (very refreshing) and he is coming back. Did I pause somewhere? Okay, I just said that, He is coming back to KILL the AntiChrist who will be a Ruler in the Revived Roman Empire. Whoa, a compassionate Healer turned Killer or Thriller? I cannot wait for the return of the Assassin named X-st. For sure, the Christian Church has emphasized different aspects of the Christ Story. Christianity has played with the resurrection and crucifixion (Cruci-Fiction). Muslims are more orthodox about their traditional beliefs than X-tians. Islam is making us look again at our beliefs. We need to look to the future for our complete deliverance. Some one once asked me what I was saved from and I realized that the mortal combat continues. Not all who call X-st “Lord, Lord” will enter the Garden but those who do what they are supposed to do should, though it’s not a guarantee, you know.
Anyway, others believe that JX-st survived the crucifixion and fled to India where he ministered. He was laid to rest in Kashmir. He said, “Blimey, I have found a worthy shrine…” and decorated it. He was a revered prophet though not as the Son of GOD. Jesus influenced religions of the East. In Japan, they believe he used to plant rice and was buried there alongside his wife and kids. (Origato) Thank you for the news! The idea that Jesus was ‘Life after death and death after life’ terrified the Chinese, literally drove the living daylights out of them. JX-st married and had children. He bid his disciple Ababid to level the place, turned his head to the north and face to the East. Jesus went to Puri Anarisa and studied in the temple. He influenced Hinduism but not fundamentally. In Bengal, Hindus believed that Jesus was a good Hindu, a person who had specially come for a special mission. Teachings of Hinduism and Buddhism are mingled which automatically makes Bahai’s partakers in my Jesus tribute.
Some argue that Jesus could also be a creation of man rather than GOD, “You cannot create a perfect account of history. Subtly many different images of him have been brought up. Many faiths acknowledge his existence.” Mormons claim that after the Resurrection, he went to America. (In one New Age believer’s dream), Jesus wore a red and purple robe and threw flowers to a crowd. The messages of Jesus come directly first hand as New Age believers claim. They see him in visions and dreams.
“Now that this event is over, let’s celebrate!” Jesus said to the crowd while throwing flowers and riding in a carriage [Probably of Lambourginis and Mustangs, you know. Just kidding!], in one New Age believer’s dream. Christianity cannot claim that Jesus is its own. He embodies the fundamental truth of human suffering and eventful relief. Christ can save anyone from one’s struggles. In Arua, we say, “Life is a beautiful struggle.” Ask 88.2 Sanyu FM’s sweet voiced Malawian-Ugandan presenter Crystal Newmann about that statement – she likes it and Christians, Muslims, Buddhists & Rastafarians should always remember it.
For us Africans, he was exiled in Egypt during his younger years and probably had relatives from Ethiopia (Forget the Rastafarian Selassie, I’m talking about Queen Sheba and Wise King Solomon: Jesus’ ancestor knew that the Best Women all reside in Africa). While I welcomed the delay of Doom’s Day at the start of Y2K, my favourite movie about the X-st was ‘The King of Kings’ by director Cecil B. DeMille who also worked on another masterpiece ‘The Ten Commandments’. Actor H.B. Warner portrayed the best picture of Jesus in the 20th Century at least by my standards. This X-st was neither pretentious nor sanctimonious; he was the real deal. Warner used to fast during filming and I guess that’s where he got this Christ-like feel. Other good movies include ‘Jesus’ which was shown in many churches during Christmas in the 1990s (In the 2000 Millenium Anniversary Edition, Brazilian ace Ronaldo da Lima called X-st ‘The Number One…Didn’t he mean Number One Assassin); ‘The Last Temptation of Christ’; ‘The Boy Jesus’; ‘The Judas Project’ shows what would have happened to Jesus if he had been born during the time of SUVs (Sports Utility Vehicles) and Automatic Rifles; Mel Gibson’s ‘The Passion of the Christ’ is the Most Grotesque Description of X-st’s final week alive. I even silently shedded tears of conviction in my room while watching the part where the condemned prostitute was touching our Lord’s foot in appreciation for saving her from being stoned by Pharisees. After watching ‘Passion’, one man confessed to having murdered someone. Consciences were rekindled. There have also been musicals such as the Rock ‘N’ Roll ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’.
JX-st, our new super-hero from Nazareth is the Assassin who will save us at the Battle of Armageddon (Megiddo, Israel) …Van Helsing, what happened to Calvary, man? Why do people back-slide? We live like Pharisees, demon-influenced hypocrites [Runaway devils, and Hell-boys] who claim to know the Word like real Men of GOD but have no Power to shake the Devil. We need to become Spiritual Snipers bringing down evil powers and principalities in the invisible realm. Will we be forgiven completely for failing to terminate them…I ain’t blaspheming but just trying to find answers before we reach the new Zion. Peace and Love, church!
Not all the ideas below are mine, some I captured from a BBC World Service Radio program on Religion around the middle of this decade but anyway, read on. According to Islam, Jesus was an important prophet. There is a diverging picture of details but the fact is: he was one of the prophets. A Muslim is incomplete without believing in the Jesus of the Anunciation (at the trunk of a palm tree) and Virgin Birth. [There is a “brook that runs at your feet. Shake the tree; it will drop fresh ripe dates in your lap, Mariam!”]
Other Arabic writings speak of forgiveness. Many Muslims know Jesus as the prophet of the Heart (Peace & Mercy); the Letter and Spirit of the Law. Isa is the Prophet before Muhammad, the Last Prophet. [Charity means do good to that person who does harm. He who is not born twice shall not enter heaven]
According to the Apocryphal Gospels considered legendary by the European churches, Jesus brought the dead to life, healed the sick, and made clay birds. Muslims believe he never died and resurrected but ascended directly to Heaven. Isn’t this a clash of civilizations with Christianity? Muslims also believe that he was a man born without a father (very refreshing) and he is coming back. Did I pause somewhere? Okay, I just said that, He is coming back to KILL the AntiChrist who will be a Ruler in the Revived Roman Empire. Whoa, a compassionate Healer turned Killer or Thriller? I cannot wait for the return of the Assassin named X-st. For sure, the Christian Church has emphasized different aspects of the Christ Story. Christianity has played with the resurrection and crucifixion (Cruci-Fiction). Muslims are more orthodox about their traditional beliefs than X-tians. Islam is making us look again at our beliefs. We need to look to the future for our complete deliverance. Some one once asked me what I was saved from and I realized that the mortal combat continues. Not all who call X-st “Lord, Lord” will enter the Garden but those who do what they are supposed to do should, though it’s not a guarantee, you know.
Anyway, others believe that JX-st survived the crucifixion and fled to India where he ministered. He was laid to rest in Kashmir. He said, “Blimey, I have found a worthy shrine…” and decorated it. He was a revered prophet though not as the Son of GOD. Jesus influenced religions of the East. In Japan, they believe he used to plant rice and was buried there alongside his wife and kids. (Origato) Thank you for the news! The idea that Jesus was ‘Life after death and death after life’ terrified the Chinese, literally drove the living daylights out of them. JX-st married and had children. He bid his disciple Ababid to level the place, turned his head to the north and face to the East. Jesus went to Puri Anarisa and studied in the temple. He influenced Hinduism but not fundamentally. In Bengal, Hindus believed that Jesus was a good Hindu, a person who had specially come for a special mission. Teachings of Hinduism and Buddhism are mingled which automatically makes Bahai’s partakers in my Jesus tribute.
Some argue that Jesus could also be a creation of man rather than GOD, “You cannot create a perfect account of history. Subtly many different images of him have been brought up. Many faiths acknowledge his existence.” Mormons claim that after the Resurrection, he went to America. (In one New Age believer’s dream), Jesus wore a red and purple robe and threw flowers to a crowd. The messages of Jesus come directly first hand as New Age believers claim. They see him in visions and dreams.
“Now that this event is over, let’s celebrate!” Jesus said to the crowd while throwing flowers and riding in a carriage [Probably of Lambourginis and Mustangs, you know. Just kidding!], in one New Age believer’s dream. Christianity cannot claim that Jesus is its own. He embodies the fundamental truth of human suffering and eventful relief. Christ can save anyone from one’s struggles. In Arua, we say, “Life is a beautiful struggle.” Ask 88.2 Sanyu FM’s sweet voiced Malawian-Ugandan presenter Crystal Newmann about that statement – she likes it and Christians, Muslims, Buddhists & Rastafarians should always remember it.
For us Africans, he was exiled in Egypt during his younger years and probably had relatives from Ethiopia (Forget the Rastafarian Selassie, I’m talking about Queen Sheba and Wise King Solomon: Jesus’ ancestor knew that the Best Women all reside in Africa). While I welcomed the delay of Doom’s Day at the start of Y2K, my favourite movie about the X-st was ‘The King of Kings’ by director Cecil B. DeMille who also worked on another masterpiece ‘The Ten Commandments’. Actor H.B. Warner portrayed the best picture of Jesus in the 20th Century at least by my standards. This X-st was neither pretentious nor sanctimonious; he was the real deal. Warner used to fast during filming and I guess that’s where he got this Christ-like feel. Other good movies include ‘Jesus’ which was shown in many churches during Christmas in the 1990s (In the 2000 Millenium Anniversary Edition, Brazilian ace Ronaldo da Lima called X-st ‘The Number One…Didn’t he mean Number One Assassin); ‘The Last Temptation of Christ’; ‘The Boy Jesus’; ‘The Judas Project’ shows what would have happened to Jesus if he had been born during the time of SUVs (Sports Utility Vehicles) and Automatic Rifles; Mel Gibson’s ‘The Passion of the Christ’ is the Most Grotesque Description of X-st’s final week alive. I even silently shedded tears of conviction in my room while watching the part where the condemned prostitute was touching our Lord’s foot in appreciation for saving her from being stoned by Pharisees. After watching ‘Passion’, one man confessed to having murdered someone. Consciences were rekindled. There have also been musicals such as the Rock ‘N’ Roll ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’.
JX-st, our new super-hero from Nazareth is the Assassin who will save us at the Battle of Armageddon (Megiddo, Israel) …Van Helsing, what happened to Calvary, man? Why do people back-slide? We live like Pharisees, demon-influenced hypocrites [Runaway devils, and Hell-boys] who claim to know the Word like real Men of GOD but have no Power to shake the Devil. We need to become Spiritual Snipers bringing down evil powers and principalities in the invisible realm. Will we be forgiven completely for failing to terminate them…I ain’t blaspheming but just trying to find answers before we reach the new Zion. Peace and Love, church!
Say No to Racism Madiba-style
[This photocopy image of Nelson Mandela (Madiba) was penciled and inked by Aiko… Jude Karuhanga my Fine Art classmate (1997-2000) and also one of my biggest Ugandan inspirations said this is ‘very good technique’. What do you say?]
On Wednesday 25 June 2008, the world started celebrating the birthday (which funnily falls in the next month on 18th July) of the World’s Most Popular 90 Year Old , former South African President Nelson Mandela though the London Party, where stars like Master of Ceremony Will Smith, his wife Jada and other stars such as Jamelia, Amy Winehouse, the talented 9ice plus others was staged 2 days later on Friday evening. Bebe Cool dressed in an orange prison cloth with the number 46664 and a chain around his shoulder, alongside three other performers dressed in orange, rocked the crowd with the song “Born in Africa”. Now I see why me and my friend Lhynnq-x thought this Ugandan reggae superstar deserved an award in the inaugural PAM Awards 2003, “I was born in Africa…my wife is from Africa…” With the message “It’s in our hands” (referring to the fight for freedom especially against AIDS and racism), the ailing Mandela walked on stage holding a walking stick while his wife G. Machel supported his steps and gave a speech to his adoring audience. The party continued with a concert by various artists.
Nelson is not only a hero in RSA but also the whole of Africa and the rest of the world. After spending 27 years in a Robben Island Prison (In-mate Number 466 in the year ‘64), Mandela got out to fight on and become one of the annihilators of the perilous white-dominated Apartheid Rule.
I do not know much about Sam Biko or any other freedom fighters but while growing up in Jinja (1984 – 1995), most of the South African themed movies like one blockbuster about 2 big boys - a black guy and his loyal white friend who fought the white Police; or news stories depicting South Africa showed Blacks being oppressed by whites and the former’s struggle to end this difference. One township that never desserts my memories is Soweto and the Police beatings or killings during riots. But for me, the one Black who stood out firmly against this madness was ‘Madiba’. My mum really loved him, personally I liked his designer shirts later on in life of course (The New Millennium when he became a Pop Icon), and not only because they were artistic fashion masterpieces but also he never tucked them in. Talk of Madiba being an inspiration for us students who did not fancy school rules; boarding school is like a prison, Robben Island to be exact. (No hate intended school headmasters, it is all good: It brings out the best in us) Just imagine Madiba had never been imprisoned, he probably would be dead and gone by now but thanks to the renewing experience behind bars, RSA gained independence in 1994 from white rule.
Shaka Zulu died when the whites were coming and now that they have relinquished their hold on power, I hope Nelson does not die before they leave. Anyway, I hope they do not leave despite the recent upsurge of violence by black South Africans against foreigners. For me (that is me, myself - Aiko), Madiba will become immortal if he lives on beyond his 92nd birthday…I guess it will be during the 2010 FIFA World Cup, the first installment in Africa. Wow, that will be a legacy to remember; afterall he was among the people who seconded or added weight to the bid for the 4 year rotational championship to come to Africa. Next call 2030 somewhere in East Africa. They say dreams come true. Wait and see as we kick racism out of football and the world! Happy B-Day Madiba!
Monday
Why Africans die from Malaria
According to research from John Hopkins Hospital. No, I think this was research from Kazo, Mbarara (in Western Uganda - better known as Ug' where treated mosquito nets are distributed free): it has been discovered that "the muscular male anophelese mosquito lifts up the net so that the female can enter" and inject her victims with malaria parasites. (Don't laugh, these things happen in Uganda) Man, this is a scary discovery...We might need to put askari flies to guard our nets, talk of security companies providing help by gathering and training 'dem soldier bees, wasps or house flies. Why should flies spread cholera or sting us and yet they can be employed elsewhere? This message was inspired, sponsored and motivated by Theatre Factory Hospital Kampala...Man, those dudes and babes are really funny. Catch them every Thursday at National Theatre for the Comedy Night or on NTV (Nation TV) every Sunday at 7.30 PM. Pablo is a stand up genius; Tindi is too funny you would think there is humour locked up in her booty. I do not mean humour like in your eyes but fats of laughter (I enjoyed the skit where three new comers in Senior One were being teased by her and a friend); Richard knows how to act drunk; Frobisher is Gaddafi incarnate; Zizinga is lost in translation; Hannington Bugingo acts confidently confused (unlike in the Kiwani Movie where he was so sharp though merciless)and the rest also sizzle though I won't mention them here. The best cure for your malaria problems is to watch the doctors of Theatre Factory perform their operations on your funny bone...
Crack
While on Campus, two friends really bothered me and made me spend lots of my airtime trying to hook them up with a certain chick called Blessing. She was beautiful and a true fighter even in tight situations. So when she finally came to UCU alongside probably her brother to check on the two boys, they were not in sight for a moment. But when they reappeared around the Bishop Tucker Administration Tower, the main dude walked through the arc as though he did not know me. He was holding a business card in his left hand (given to him by another man he was following). I did not know what to do but asked him why he did not want to talk to Blessing. He retorted that he never had any feelings for her before and would maybe think of seeing her in future. For now, he had an urgent deal to chase with this man who was beautifully clad in elegant men's clothes. I asked his friend who was behind them but the lad seemed indifferent.
I left them to go their way and walked down to the old gate while consolingly holding Blessing's left arm with my left arm stretching behind her back as she wept. I told her I was sorry for what I had put her through and the airtime she had wasted calling these guys. The shorty had broken down completely but she told me that she had already forgiven me for everything... How love relieves us, my mind was now free. I knew she would have a brighter day some day but not with these boys who had played with her heart and emotions.
I left them to go their way and walked down to the old gate while consolingly holding Blessing's left arm with my left arm stretching behind her back as she wept. I told her I was sorry for what I had put her through and the airtime she had wasted calling these guys. The shorty had broken down completely but she told me that she had already forgiven me for everything... How love relieves us, my mind was now free. I knew she would have a brighter day some day but not with these boys who had played with her heart and emotions.
Is Uganda Developed?
Someone asked me on Wednesday 11th June 2008 if Uganda is developed and I half heartedly replied 'No', there are two sides to this issue. "We ain't that developed but are heading there at a rate of 9 per cent...
Okay, the first reason why we aren't developed is that when it rains heavily, murram roads are muddy and almost impassable.
Secondly, we still use bicycles and haven't learnt how to travel on skateboards. [Nevertheless, there is a skateboard rink somewhere in Kitintale, Kampala (‘The first’ of its kind in Uganda according to Sunday Vision in June 2008)]
Leaders or MPs (Members of Parliament) take long to implement infrastructural development policies in their constituencies despite displeasure and expressed annoyance from their people.
In the forth place, lovers are not expected to go far and know the relatives of their partners before a formal "Kwanjula". What if your mother calls me by name before you tell her or I get your brother's contacts from him before you have introduced me, am I going too far?
Pastors have different powers, it seems. Some go underground, others use electric shock gadgets or undisclosed powers. Robert Kayanja will bless you, then when you go to another pastor, you start having (wet or) bad dreams, nightmares to be precise. Does that mean we have to remain loyal to one church, but I thought the church was bigger than just one pastor...Okay, if you follow what you see in the dreams, you might realise your developmental progress hampered somehow in real life.
Lastly, people still borrow phones from their friends. "Why don't you get your own?" An MTN kabiriti costs only 40k, that's almost the Poverty Line that stood at earning about 24,000 UgX per month a few years ago...I hear some autographs by Ugandan stars cost 10 to 20k or more, sign here please!
Okay, the first reason why we aren't developed is that when it rains heavily, murram roads are muddy and almost impassable.
Secondly, we still use bicycles and haven't learnt how to travel on skateboards. [Nevertheless, there is a skateboard rink somewhere in Kitintale, Kampala (‘The first’ of its kind in Uganda according to Sunday Vision in June 2008)]
Leaders or MPs (Members of Parliament) take long to implement infrastructural development policies in their constituencies despite displeasure and expressed annoyance from their people.
In the forth place, lovers are not expected to go far and know the relatives of their partners before a formal "Kwanjula". What if your mother calls me by name before you tell her or I get your brother's contacts from him before you have introduced me, am I going too far?
Pastors have different powers, it seems. Some go underground, others use electric shock gadgets or undisclosed powers. Robert Kayanja will bless you, then when you go to another pastor, you start having (wet or) bad dreams, nightmares to be precise. Does that mean we have to remain loyal to one church, but I thought the church was bigger than just one pastor...Okay, if you follow what you see in the dreams, you might realise your developmental progress hampered somehow in real life.
Lastly, people still borrow phones from their friends. "Why don't you get your own?" An MTN kabiriti costs only 40k, that's almost the Poverty Line that stood at earning about 24,000 UgX per month a few years ago...I hear some autographs by Ugandan stars cost 10 to 20k or more, sign here please!
The 2nd Annual Kampala Street Art Festival
I missed the first Kampala Street Art Festival simply because I thought potholes were going to be painted (at least that's what the theme expressed). However when my brother phoned me on Saturday night to ask me if I knew about it [The Pre Party was going on], I made up my mind to check it out on Sunday afternoon. Left home at around 2 PM, three hours late but got into the colourful vibe. In the First Year, I attended the Pre-party (though I walked out early with my soda coupon to catch a Real Madrid match at Shiners’ Pub near home) and missed the festival. The game was just enough to make my weekend though I got a terrible headache due to the high-pitched music blasting in the pub. This year, I missed the party but enjoyed the Festival. The first stall I sighted on the Southern side of Bukoto Street had shoes (bought from Owino) with soil and plants in them. They were sold between 1000 and 3000 UgX as a fundraising drive by UGCS (Uganda German Cultural Society)for the next Street Art Festival within the year. The first guy I could recognise was seated under the tent on the opposite side of the shoe gallery. Denis Kato is a guy I had met just a few days before at Bahai painting. Man, his neighbour Allan in shades on the left had a wonderful piece of a gorilla on cloth. Another artist sat on his other side, my right. I walked to the middle of the street to watch musicians perform, couldn't buy anything, neither sofa covers nor designer shirts but they looked okay though. After music by the 2008 Bell PAM (Pearl of Africa Music) Awards PRO singing to a clown in the middle of the road (This guy actually drew the kids around most), I headed to the other end of the street (It had what I wanted to see) near Record TV and the old UGCS offices before returning for more musical entertainment.
Present on the street were the usual suspects: Tina Wamala, one of the MCs (If you don't know her face, you must be from Mars or Venus) alongside her workmate, a very knowledgeable lady in matters of Sports (Record TV's 'Half Time Show' co-host, that is); Roberta (UGCS Director); Xenson; Ras Jjingo (holding a camera and clad in the First Bayimba Festival's promotional T-Shirt; Peter Otim; plus two of my musical old boys form Macos. Other beautiful people included models showing off comfy Stella Atal, outrageous Xenson and artistic Latif's designs plus another guy who had only one design, tie and die with a big ganja desin on the back.
The musicians stage was mounted on the pavement in front of purple QC Saatchi & Saatchi block. Sarah Ndagire clad in black pants and a pink Indian style dress ( with dark pink and black block designs at the front like those by Peter Otim) stole the show with 3 or more songs from Bunyoro with background Afro beat music performed by 'Soul Beat Africa?' that included my two OBs. Other performances were the crazy "Aka hee? Aka Hee ho!" band of musicians. One 'Kanyama-man' dressed in a devilish mask and trousers with the word 'Jaguar' repeated all over first danced before jumping through a bicycle wheel with a friend and then showing off his tough body by lying on nails while his colleague stood on him. The Fattest Lady in the crowd who was called to do the standing gave up because she thought he would die. Maybe she had accepted the call thinking that she was only going to be carried.
Teenagers who had traveled in many towns of Uganda to spread the message of peace through Break Dance lightened up the faces of 'bazungu' with their street hugging club house dances. Background music included American hit songs like "Promiscuous Boy" by Nelly Furtado; A song by Lil' Kim, Method Man and "Touch my Body" by Mariah...Every body seemed to be moved.
Sponsors of the 2008 'La Ba' Street Art Festival included Goethe Institut, UGCS, iguana Bar & Lounge, Freedum, Sadolin Paints, Alliance Francaise plus the German and Dutch Embassies.
There were public art mounts of mechanical wheels pivoted together to make a majestic tower. Another blocked the road. One of Xenson's crazy fashion designs had Coca Cola cans on a wobbly dress and another had a wierd mixture of cloth from different attires for a lady's trousers. My best revelation for the day though was the new Casalina Art Gallery and Casalina K. Fashion. When I asked the beautiful lady at the tent how long it had been around, I was shocked to learn that it was only "three months old". If that was not newsy enough, then how about the location: somewhere in Kisementi where I pass every month...Plot 3, Cooper Road behind Aisha Salon. They showcase pieces from various artists including Jjuko, my best for the event.
An Alur singer called Suzan? spiced up the evening with two or three songs in her mother tongue mixed with English perhaps for translation. One rhymed, "I'm just a child, without a dime...". The other had, "My wealth is in my soul...". These were fantastic jams though I couldn'yt decipher the Alur but I think it is a good idea when West Nilers combine their lingual with ESL (English as a Second Language).
Mukiza and his troupe also performed skits. Two white babes and a black one danced ballet before the latter joined Mukiza and another black man to produce a tri-logue about 'Committment'. The woman defined it as a man-friend listening to her while the men considerd committment to be the fact that I can have my woman's body, that way you will be committing to her and her great sex antics. Mukiza reasoned that, "GOD intentionally made men few so that they could have more than one woman." I wonder why some chick suddenly came from no where and caressed my left arm from behind. I looked behind and we were both shocked to see that we did not know each other. I was tight lipped and she apologised immediately. You see what committment can do...I'm committed to Art.
Present on the street were the usual suspects: Tina Wamala, one of the MCs (If you don't know her face, you must be from Mars or Venus) alongside her workmate, a very knowledgeable lady in matters of Sports (Record TV's 'Half Time Show' co-host, that is); Roberta (UGCS Director); Xenson; Ras Jjingo (holding a camera and clad in the First Bayimba Festival's promotional T-Shirt; Peter Otim; plus two of my musical old boys form Macos. Other beautiful people included models showing off comfy Stella Atal, outrageous Xenson and artistic Latif's designs plus another guy who had only one design, tie and die with a big ganja desin on the back.
The musicians stage was mounted on the pavement in front of purple QC Saatchi & Saatchi block. Sarah Ndagire clad in black pants and a pink Indian style dress ( with dark pink and black block designs at the front like those by Peter Otim) stole the show with 3 or more songs from Bunyoro with background Afro beat music performed by 'Soul Beat Africa?' that included my two OBs. Other performances were the crazy "Aka hee? Aka Hee ho!" band of musicians. One 'Kanyama-man' dressed in a devilish mask and trousers with the word 'Jaguar' repeated all over first danced before jumping through a bicycle wheel with a friend and then showing off his tough body by lying on nails while his colleague stood on him. The Fattest Lady in the crowd who was called to do the standing gave up because she thought he would die. Maybe she had accepted the call thinking that she was only going to be carried.
Teenagers who had traveled in many towns of Uganda to spread the message of peace through Break Dance lightened up the faces of 'bazungu' with their street hugging club house dances. Background music included American hit songs like "Promiscuous Boy" by Nelly Furtado; A song by Lil' Kim, Method Man and "Touch my Body" by Mariah...Every body seemed to be moved.
Sponsors of the 2008 'La Ba' Street Art Festival included Goethe Institut, UGCS, iguana Bar & Lounge, Freedum, Sadolin Paints, Alliance Francaise plus the German and Dutch Embassies.
There were public art mounts of mechanical wheels pivoted together to make a majestic tower. Another blocked the road. One of Xenson's crazy fashion designs had Coca Cola cans on a wobbly dress and another had a wierd mixture of cloth from different attires for a lady's trousers. My best revelation for the day though was the new Casalina Art Gallery and Casalina K. Fashion. When I asked the beautiful lady at the tent how long it had been around, I was shocked to learn that it was only "three months old". If that was not newsy enough, then how about the location: somewhere in Kisementi where I pass every month...Plot 3, Cooper Road behind Aisha Salon. They showcase pieces from various artists including Jjuko, my best for the event.
An Alur singer called Suzan? spiced up the evening with two or three songs in her mother tongue mixed with English perhaps for translation. One rhymed, "I'm just a child, without a dime...". The other had, "My wealth is in my soul...". These were fantastic jams though I couldn'yt decipher the Alur but I think it is a good idea when West Nilers combine their lingual with ESL (English as a Second Language).
Mukiza and his troupe also performed skits. Two white babes and a black one danced ballet before the latter joined Mukiza and another black man to produce a tri-logue about 'Committment'. The woman defined it as a man-friend listening to her while the men considerd committment to be the fact that I can have my woman's body, that way you will be committing to her and her great sex antics. Mukiza reasoned that, "GOD intentionally made men few so that they could have more than one woman." I wonder why some chick suddenly came from no where and caressed my left arm from behind. I looked behind and we were both shocked to see that we did not know each other. I was tight lipped and she apologised immediately. You see what committment can do...I'm committed to Art.
Friday
oneGOD...
HE is the LORD of the Universe. No devil can claim to be greater than GOD so we worship only HIM. Some call HIM JEHOVAH, others call HIM MUNGU, KATONDA, YAHWEH, ALLAH, RUHANGA en so forth. The names don't really matter 'coz they are so many. What matters is that we give HIM the honour HE deserves...GODisgreat!
All prayers are answered
“When you pray for something; watch out for the opportunities that come your way. They may be reversed in such a way that all you do is think of a move to claim the blessing in real life… GOD always answers prayer by putting us in a situation where you simply use your brain to get what you want."
–AIKO (17th Feb 2005)
–AIKO (17th Feb 2005)
(About the Author of:) "Talking about Talking"
The author of this book (First printed in 1983, Second Edition by Design Centre in 2010) Mr. James E.O. Dramani comes from Ojapi Parish of Maracha County in Arua District. He started his Primary Education at Ojapi Village School in 1954 and went to various schools including Tara, Ibia and Paranga primary schools. He completed Junior Two at Nyangilia J.S.S. in 1961 and joined Sir Samuel Baker School in Gulu for Secondary Education (1962 - 7).
He joined Makerere University in the 1968 Academic Year and studied Economics, Maths and Statistics. He was one of the pioneers of the Institute of Statistics and Applied Economics Department of the University. After graduation in March 1971 with a Second Class Honours [BSc.] Degree, he worked with Ministry of Planning as a statistician, then with Bank of Uganda and later joined Nile Breweries Limited where he was an accountant as well as Assistant Managing Director. He rose from Treasurer to Chairman of Nile Breweries FC which won the 1980 League Cup during his administration. In 1984, he went to Glasgow, Scotland for further studies.
He also studied Banking and Accountancy by correspondence and holds certificates in parts of the Professional Exams. By the time of this re-print, he had obtained a Diploma in Business Management and Administration. He is computer literate and has worked as a manager at Nile Bank (Spear House), an indigenous bank bought by Barclays, before retiring to his Home District where he worked as the Arua Municipal Council's Principal Treasurer for four years. He also worked as a Financial and Operations Advisor with a local NGO - YODEO Arua Limited for a short period and as a Retail Shop Owner.
Go out into bookstores near you like Canaan (in Arua) and buy the book (Call 0772-662415 in Arua or 0772-624952 in Kampala for a copy) to get more revelation about one man's hilarious experiences and observations from the 1960s to the 2000s ... Good Reading
SMACKOBA Alumni Re-Union [Sunday 8 June 2008]
Started with mass which I attended about 50 minutes late; actually entered during offertory time, what an entrance! I sat next to some guy I usually meet on Nakasero Hill Road. The students looked just like us; I did not feel any older than them. The Choir was still as angelic as during our years. After mass, me, Kiyinji and another lad one class ahead of us toured the former German Room (now Senior 1D), saw Yellow Man (the Agriculture teacher), Sexie (The French teacher), the Junior Library, walked behind 1C and checked out the Senior 4 classes (Empty at that time because of breakfast, you know) before heading to the Main Hall. I almost registered before D’Arbela, one of the 4 SMACK Old Boys to be honored that day but allowed him to write his name before me in respect. He actually wanted me to do it first but it was his GOD-given day, so he had to come first. Doesn’t that mean that the honourable can also honour the noble like me? I have always had such wishes. If the most beautiful woman (at least acclaimed by respected establishments) tells you that you are beautiful, do you feel ugly? Actually during the reading of his citation by a true admirer, I was satisfied that he had written his name before me. As a medical genius, he had inspired so many and worked both in Uganda and overseas countries even residing in Saudi Arabia for quarter a century. He would say mass at his house on Sundays.
Before the function, I had picked a leaflet about Naalya flats and signed in the visitors book at the National Housing and Construction Company Limited stall (One of the sponsors of the meeting alongside Nile Breweries, can you imagine? And Ethiopian Airlines Wow!) The Chairman of NH&CCL said that since he was also a SMACK product, he became selfish and decided to sponsor the re-union, “It takes an entire village to make a man.” He further praised J.C. Kiwanuka for his dedication to teaching Mathematics, “We do not honour this man enough; He has sacrificed doing other things in order to make us the men that we are today.”
While serving breakfast (A banana, juice and cake; I couldn’t drink tea and the sumbis were finished; Okatch got me the Mineral Water), I saw Emily Mwebaze, the beautiful solo-singer plus WBS TV news reader and reporter just one person ahead of me. I wanted to greet her and tell her how I marveled at her beauty but also did not want to be overcome by this syndrome of being struck by a star. “If the stars can’t recognize you, why should you worship them?” The same applies to crushes: Why cant life be so easy? Of course, the babe looks more beautiful in reality than the beauty we see on the silver screen but as a boy, I did not want to tamper with the peace of another man’s woman. So I let her remain in tact.
The award ceremony was very inspirational simply because the recipients of these accolades, given to them by the Katikiiro of Buganda (Engineer J.B. Walusimbi) also a SMACK OB, had achieved so much over a course of 50 years. I told Nicholas Mwanja, an OB and Lourdel dorm mate for 4 years, sitted next to me that we had about 50 years to get there. The 4 guys honoured were at SMACK in the 1950s and 60s. Paul George D’Arbela, the one who wrote his name before I (Remember?) was introduced by an OB who literally worshipped him. Everything D’Arbela did, this guy followed. When he went out to work in Saudi Arabia, this guy followed. The awards he got, this guy worked to get. It was just totally unbelievable how some one could honour another one’s legacy to such an extent. During his acceptance speech, D’Arbela said, “Lourdel House back then was not good at Sports but via the brain, they were on top,” No one objected.
The Second Awardee was Francis Xavier Kitaaka who came with many members of his family, actually the Most Escorted Guy that day I can say. He narrated how he survived death twice by GOD’s grace during the turbulent times. The scientist turned businessman said, “Any one can be rich; Capital is the head, Caput. Use your head. Only three principles made me successful: GOD, Trustworthiness and Business.” His revelations emphasized some of the rules I had read in a 2007 Richard Templar book entitled “The Rules of Wealth” carried to the re-union by an OB sitted ahead of me.
The Third recipient was Henry Ssentongo, also from the green-flaged Lourdel House, my house. This was the guy I was waiting to hear from simply because he designed the fantastic blue and white Workers House, renovated State House Entebbe and the new Centenary Bank Main Building (Still in the pipeline, will be known as Mapera and one of the Most Fantastic Bank Offices in Uganda). He is also the Patron of the SMACK Chapel Choir and was the guy who donated a 2 Million Shilling keyboard from UK during our time (Late 1990s), masterfully played then by Mwanja sitted next to me. After leaving Uganda to study Architecture in Kenya as the only Black in his class (Afterall blacks were only taught hospitality courses to work as hoteliers or kitchen servants), Henry was given an aptitude test in which three half naked women entered a room and he was told to draw what he saw. Unfortunately, he did not know how to draw. After the test, he cried in his room because he felt he had let down his parents. When one Indian saw him weeping and offered to help, they made a deal that he would teach the Indian mathematics, pay him a third of his allowances while the Indian taught him how to draw. In the long run, he became the President of the Association of African Architects and a member of other bodies.
The Last OB on the Honours list was Prof. Charles O., Vice Chancellor at Uganda Martyrs University Nkozi whose son is also a faculty dean there (I think they were following age). He advised that, “There is an Asante saying: ‘If you follow your father’s footsteps, you will learn to walk like your father’…” As the guest speaker, he had earlier said that we need “Quality Time on Task…A vision with a task can change the world…We become persons by relating.” Being an author of tens of books and an acclaimed orator, the professor had basically given an earth moving presentation before the awards though I missed it briefly. Nevertheless, his acceptance speech was brief and concise. He graduated from SMACK in 1960…
“I look forward to seeing the first person plunged into the swimming pool…,” said Headmaster Edward Bukenya. The Speaker of Parliament Edward Sekandi, also an OB came in late and was honoured by being called to the high table next to the awardees.
Andrew Opolot, the SMACKOBA President Elect and Swimming Pool Coordinator said, “The pool had been an incomplete 40 year project but would be finished by the end of the year.” Some of the speakers wondered why the attendance was low and J.B. Walusimbi advised that we should get some tips from the former President, Architect Sentongo whose regime had fuller meetings.
“During the next SMACKOBA meeting, we should all plunge into the swimming pool,” J.B. Walusimbi humorously concluded the Re-Union and Award Ceremony.
Theatre Factory provided the entertainment after 4pm and it lived up to people’s expectations. Though their first two skits were already presented on NTV’s Sunday Barbed Wire Show, the one about SMACK seemed new and kind of rocked. It must have been produced after the invitation to perform at the function; it simply employed a joke creation technique that sizzled: In the scene, a librarian was required to fill a job vacancy so the first applicant (a sharp actor who impresses me a lot while acting drunk) came in and answered the interview questions correctly. When asked who SMACK’s headmaster was, he replied, “It used to be Father … but is now Brother Edward Bukenya.” OBs were amazed. The second question wanted to find out when the school began. He replied, “1906 and super-modified in 2006” (because of the 100 years celebration I guess). The last question was: Can SMACKists build a class on Planet Mars? “Some people think so but it has not been scientifically proven. Absolutely! ...,” The applicant was so confident that he had passed. So when the interviewer went to ease himself, he tried to give the next applicant (role played by Hannigton Bugingo) the ‘marking guide’ as he called it. He probably did not know that the questions would be changed for his friend. So the second guy walked in with a spring step and was asked what his name was. He stupidly replied, “It used to be Father … but is now Brother Edward Bukenya.”/ “When were you born?” Without thinking, “1906 and super-modified in 2006”/ “Are you mad?” “Some people think so but it has not been scientifically proven.”/ “Are you insane?” “Absolutely ...,” This applicant was simply chased away but he had a joyful smile on his face thinking that he had passed. This was half of the crew performing but after the lunch, they promised to give another dose of their humorous entertainment. Unfortunately, I had already made up my mind to catch the Benin vs. Uganda and missed the fun ... Former classmates present included Ogwal (Usual suspect told me Tinyiro didn't come because he had downed too many), Ocuku, Gerald Okol,Kon Paul (Wow, nice name for a Sudanese!),Walugega, Kasolo, and a few others.
(The information below was copied and pasted from Vickie Kayaga's Email to the OBs)
Hullo OBs, i know you will be interested in reading this educative, informative and inspirational speech by Prof. Charles Olweny presented on the SMACKOBA REUNION DAY.
RE-UNION DAY SMACKOBA 8 TH JUNE, 2008
The Guest of Honour and Chairman of the Board of Governors of St. Mary's College Kisubi, Owekitibwa, Engineer Walusimbi, The Headmaster of St. Mary's College Kisubi, Brother Edward Bukenya,President of SMACKOBA, Mr. Henry Kibirige, Fellow Honourees or Awardees, Fellow members of SMACKOBA, Ladies and Gentlemen
To day is a great day for me as it represents an official home coming after 48 years of absence. I graduated from St. Mary's College in 1960 having been among the first batch to start A-level course here. The warm welcome so far accorded to us makes me feel I might be the prodigal son. The fattest calf has been slaughtered and there will be dancing and jubilation as the celebration continues.
Our human identity is first and foremost relational. We become who we are through relationship with other people. It is not that we become a person first and then relate; rather we become persons by relating, reflecting, knowing and making meaning of our God given gifts. I therefore congratulate you all for keeping the fire of St. Mary's College Old Boys Association burning over the years.
Mr. Henry Kibirige in his letter inviting me to this occasion requested me to be the Guest Speaker and to talk on the theme: “Quality Education and Professionalism”. In preparing for this presentation I asked myself what is QUALITY? What is EDUCATION? And what is PROFESSIONALISM? I will try to share my perceived or shall I say my preferred definitions of what these words mean to me. Quality is the degree to which services to an individual or population are (a) likely to achieve desired outcome and (b)consistent with current professional knowledge. Quality has nothing to do with how shiny or bright a product is or how much it costs. A customer who buys your product or experiences your service has certain needs and expectations in mind. If the product or service meets or exceeds those expectations time and time again, then in the mind of the customer it is a quality product or quality service. Quality therefore relates to the customers perception and in that regard quality may be defined as ”meeting the customers needs and expectations”. Most customers are reasonable. They expect a Mercedes to have leather seats. They do no expect the same of Toyota Corolla! Customers may switch from one supplier to another not just to get a better price( although a good bargain would come in handy) but rather to secure better service, reliability, accessibility and courtesy. Customers are the most important assets of any company although they do not show up on our balance sheet, they are an asset to be nurtured. Let me then ask who are our customers at St. Mary's Kisubi? It is the students, their parents, their sponsors, the Church and the people of Uganda. Has St. Mary's lived up to or exceeded their expectations? If the answer is yes then St. Mary's is a quality institution.
What about education? There are many different definitions of education. Some tell you what education is NOT as for example ,”Education is NOT just filling a bucket with knowledge”. My late parents taught me three things viz. Fear God, work hard and respect authority as all authority comes from God. They instilled in me the notion that you can never have authority until you respect authority. You need to find some authority worthy of your respect. I have added a forth dimension or value to my children, namely, “be disciplined”. Discipline is doing the right thing when no one is watching. It is , when you are alone , instead of eating in the kitchen, laying the table, carrying food to the table, sitting down, saying prayer before meals and eating the food; and when it is all done, taking the plates and washing them before retiring. Discipline is not just demanding people to take action; it is to do with getting them to first engage in disciplined thought and then take disciplined action. In this regard my parents were my first educators. My own preferred definition of education is, “what is left when all that you learnt at school, college or university is long forgotten.” What is left is “education” When you can no longer define the principle of Archimedes, when you can no longer deduce Pythagoras' theorem, when you cannot impute E=MC2, when all the neuroanatomy, or biochemistry is gone, when all the calculus you learnt no longer makes sense then what is left in you is education. A good education empowers us; provides us with the necessary knowledge and skills to undertake important tasks in our lives, exploits all our potentials, prepares us to become global citizens and above all teach us to think critically. Text books teach people subject matter but they do not teach people to think let alone to think critically. I believe St. Mary's gave me a good education. St. Mary's instilled in me the notion of discipline. I recall the early morning wake up call from Brother Louis or Bother Paul Major, rain or no rain, would roar at the door, “May Jesus live in our hearts” and the chorus, “Forever”still ring loudly in my ears. We were taught the appreciation of classical music. I developed then a passion for classical music to this day. We were given dancing lessons. I wonder how many of you can dance foxtrot or waltz or calypso? We were given courses in etiquette. We were encouraged to ask questions and to ask the right questions when faced with complex decisions. We were trained not to cone by rote, but or cram but to try to understand issues and express them in our own words. Now that I can no longer remember the academic issues, what I have left in me is education and I can proudly announce it was a good education.
Lastly, what is professionalism? The definition I found is , 'being engaged in one or other of the learned professions i.e. Legal, medicine, engineering etc. A better definition is exhibiting a courteous conscientious and generally business like manner at the work place. Another definition of professionalism is the conduct , aim and qualities that characterize or make a profession or a professional person. The majority of us here are professionals or belong to one or other of the professions. Do we exhibit courtesy? Are we conscientious ? Are we business-like in our work place? Do we exhibit qualities that should characterise our profession? Are we reliable, accessible and courteous to those we serve? I leave it up to each of you to answer those questions
Our mission in this world, according to the late Pope John Paul II, is to seek God, study the world and serve humanity. All of us have a mission to fulfil. If we are still alive then that mission is not fulfilled and definitely not completed. According to St. Thomas Aquinas, “God's grace works through nature”. Encountering God in the bits and pieces of every day life is what we should strive for. Remember the people you encounter in the streets, in the class room, in the market, in the taxi park are your gods. This earth is crammed with heaven. The people who come to your consultancy rooms whether you are an Architect, an Engineer or a Medical Doctor are all your gods. Please treat them as if they are God. Take your heart to work and ask everybody else to do the same. Don't let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth, don't let them get swallowed up by the great chewing i.e. Complacency. The ancient Buddhist expression states, “ If we are facing the right direction all we have to do is walk” I was amazed to learn that a SMACK old boy designed the Chogm logo, not me brothers.
I suspect Mr. Henry Kibirige wanted me to talk about quality university education. I have intentionally avoided doing so because quality education begins in the home. The ruin of a nation begins in the homes of its people. Quality education begins in the primary and secondary schools. Unfortunately, by the time the students get to university, the dye is cast and it is almost impossible to mould them into quality products. I thank you for listening to me.
Before the function, I had picked a leaflet about Naalya flats and signed in the visitors book at the National Housing and Construction Company Limited stall (One of the sponsors of the meeting alongside Nile Breweries, can you imagine? And Ethiopian Airlines Wow!) The Chairman of NH&CCL said that since he was also a SMACK product, he became selfish and decided to sponsor the re-union, “It takes an entire village to make a man.” He further praised J.C. Kiwanuka for his dedication to teaching Mathematics, “We do not honour this man enough; He has sacrificed doing other things in order to make us the men that we are today.”
While serving breakfast (A banana, juice and cake; I couldn’t drink tea and the sumbis were finished; Okatch got me the Mineral Water), I saw Emily Mwebaze, the beautiful solo-singer plus WBS TV news reader and reporter just one person ahead of me. I wanted to greet her and tell her how I marveled at her beauty but also did not want to be overcome by this syndrome of being struck by a star. “If the stars can’t recognize you, why should you worship them?” The same applies to crushes: Why cant life be so easy? Of course, the babe looks more beautiful in reality than the beauty we see on the silver screen but as a boy, I did not want to tamper with the peace of another man’s woman. So I let her remain in tact.
The award ceremony was very inspirational simply because the recipients of these accolades, given to them by the Katikiiro of Buganda (Engineer J.B. Walusimbi) also a SMACK OB, had achieved so much over a course of 50 years. I told Nicholas Mwanja, an OB and Lourdel dorm mate for 4 years, sitted next to me that we had about 50 years to get there. The 4 guys honoured were at SMACK in the 1950s and 60s. Paul George D’Arbela, the one who wrote his name before I (Remember?) was introduced by an OB who literally worshipped him. Everything D’Arbela did, this guy followed. When he went out to work in Saudi Arabia, this guy followed. The awards he got, this guy worked to get. It was just totally unbelievable how some one could honour another one’s legacy to such an extent. During his acceptance speech, D’Arbela said, “Lourdel House back then was not good at Sports but via the brain, they were on top,” No one objected.
The Second Awardee was Francis Xavier Kitaaka who came with many members of his family, actually the Most Escorted Guy that day I can say. He narrated how he survived death twice by GOD’s grace during the turbulent times. The scientist turned businessman said, “Any one can be rich; Capital is the head, Caput. Use your head. Only three principles made me successful: GOD, Trustworthiness and Business.” His revelations emphasized some of the rules I had read in a 2007 Richard Templar book entitled “The Rules of Wealth” carried to the re-union by an OB sitted ahead of me.
The Third recipient was Henry Ssentongo, also from the green-flaged Lourdel House, my house. This was the guy I was waiting to hear from simply because he designed the fantastic blue and white Workers House, renovated State House Entebbe and the new Centenary Bank Main Building (Still in the pipeline, will be known as Mapera and one of the Most Fantastic Bank Offices in Uganda). He is also the Patron of the SMACK Chapel Choir and was the guy who donated a 2 Million Shilling keyboard from UK during our time (Late 1990s), masterfully played then by Mwanja sitted next to me. After leaving Uganda to study Architecture in Kenya as the only Black in his class (Afterall blacks were only taught hospitality courses to work as hoteliers or kitchen servants), Henry was given an aptitude test in which three half naked women entered a room and he was told to draw what he saw. Unfortunately, he did not know how to draw. After the test, he cried in his room because he felt he had let down his parents. When one Indian saw him weeping and offered to help, they made a deal that he would teach the Indian mathematics, pay him a third of his allowances while the Indian taught him how to draw. In the long run, he became the President of the Association of African Architects and a member of other bodies.
The Last OB on the Honours list was Prof. Charles O., Vice Chancellor at Uganda Martyrs University Nkozi whose son is also a faculty dean there (I think they were following age). He advised that, “There is an Asante saying: ‘If you follow your father’s footsteps, you will learn to walk like your father’…” As the guest speaker, he had earlier said that we need “Quality Time on Task…A vision with a task can change the world…We become persons by relating.” Being an author of tens of books and an acclaimed orator, the professor had basically given an earth moving presentation before the awards though I missed it briefly. Nevertheless, his acceptance speech was brief and concise. He graduated from SMACK in 1960…
“I look forward to seeing the first person plunged into the swimming pool…,” said Headmaster Edward Bukenya. The Speaker of Parliament Edward Sekandi, also an OB came in late and was honoured by being called to the high table next to the awardees.
Andrew Opolot, the SMACKOBA President Elect and Swimming Pool Coordinator said, “The pool had been an incomplete 40 year project but would be finished by the end of the year.” Some of the speakers wondered why the attendance was low and J.B. Walusimbi advised that we should get some tips from the former President, Architect Sentongo whose regime had fuller meetings.
“During the next SMACKOBA meeting, we should all plunge into the swimming pool,” J.B. Walusimbi humorously concluded the Re-Union and Award Ceremony.
Theatre Factory provided the entertainment after 4pm and it lived up to people’s expectations. Though their first two skits were already presented on NTV’s Sunday Barbed Wire Show, the one about SMACK seemed new and kind of rocked. It must have been produced after the invitation to perform at the function; it simply employed a joke creation technique that sizzled: In the scene, a librarian was required to fill a job vacancy so the first applicant (a sharp actor who impresses me a lot while acting drunk) came in and answered the interview questions correctly. When asked who SMACK’s headmaster was, he replied, “It used to be Father … but is now Brother Edward Bukenya.” OBs were amazed. The second question wanted to find out when the school began. He replied, “1906 and super-modified in 2006” (because of the 100 years celebration I guess). The last question was: Can SMACKists build a class on Planet Mars? “Some people think so but it has not been scientifically proven. Absolutely! ...,” The applicant was so confident that he had passed. So when the interviewer went to ease himself, he tried to give the next applicant (role played by Hannigton Bugingo) the ‘marking guide’ as he called it. He probably did not know that the questions would be changed for his friend. So the second guy walked in with a spring step and was asked what his name was. He stupidly replied, “It used to be Father … but is now Brother Edward Bukenya.”/ “When were you born?” Without thinking, “1906 and super-modified in 2006”/ “Are you mad?” “Some people think so but it has not been scientifically proven.”/ “Are you insane?” “Absolutely ...,” This applicant was simply chased away but he had a joyful smile on his face thinking that he had passed. This was half of the crew performing but after the lunch, they promised to give another dose of their humorous entertainment. Unfortunately, I had already made up my mind to catch the Benin vs. Uganda and missed the fun ... Former classmates present included Ogwal (Usual suspect told me Tinyiro didn't come because he had downed too many), Ocuku, Gerald Okol,Kon Paul (Wow, nice name for a Sudanese!),Walugega, Kasolo, and a few others.
(The information below was copied and pasted from Vickie Kayaga's Email to the OBs)
Hullo OBs, i know you will be interested in reading this educative, informative and inspirational speech by Prof. Charles Olweny presented on the SMACKOBA REUNION DAY.
RE-UNION DAY SMACKOBA 8 TH JUNE, 2008
The Guest of Honour and Chairman of the Board of Governors of St. Mary's College Kisubi, Owekitibwa, Engineer Walusimbi, The Headmaster of St. Mary's College Kisubi, Brother Edward Bukenya,President of SMACKOBA, Mr. Henry Kibirige, Fellow Honourees or Awardees, Fellow members of SMACKOBA, Ladies and Gentlemen
To day is a great day for me as it represents an official home coming after 48 years of absence. I graduated from St. Mary's College in 1960 having been among the first batch to start A-level course here. The warm welcome so far accorded to us makes me feel I might be the prodigal son. The fattest calf has been slaughtered and there will be dancing and jubilation as the celebration continues.
Our human identity is first and foremost relational. We become who we are through relationship with other people. It is not that we become a person first and then relate; rather we become persons by relating, reflecting, knowing and making meaning of our God given gifts. I therefore congratulate you all for keeping the fire of St. Mary's College Old Boys Association burning over the years.
Mr. Henry Kibirige in his letter inviting me to this occasion requested me to be the Guest Speaker and to talk on the theme: “Quality Education and Professionalism”. In preparing for this presentation I asked myself what is QUALITY? What is EDUCATION? And what is PROFESSIONALISM? I will try to share my perceived or shall I say my preferred definitions of what these words mean to me. Quality is the degree to which services to an individual or population are (a) likely to achieve desired outcome and (b)consistent with current professional knowledge. Quality has nothing to do with how shiny or bright a product is or how much it costs. A customer who buys your product or experiences your service has certain needs and expectations in mind. If the product or service meets or exceeds those expectations time and time again, then in the mind of the customer it is a quality product or quality service. Quality therefore relates to the customers perception and in that regard quality may be defined as ”meeting the customers needs and expectations”. Most customers are reasonable. They expect a Mercedes to have leather seats. They do no expect the same of Toyota Corolla! Customers may switch from one supplier to another not just to get a better price( although a good bargain would come in handy) but rather to secure better service, reliability, accessibility and courtesy. Customers are the most important assets of any company although they do not show up on our balance sheet, they are an asset to be nurtured. Let me then ask who are our customers at St. Mary's Kisubi? It is the students, their parents, their sponsors, the Church and the people of Uganda. Has St. Mary's lived up to or exceeded their expectations? If the answer is yes then St. Mary's is a quality institution.
What about education? There are many different definitions of education. Some tell you what education is NOT as for example ,”Education is NOT just filling a bucket with knowledge”. My late parents taught me three things viz. Fear God, work hard and respect authority as all authority comes from God. They instilled in me the notion that you can never have authority until you respect authority. You need to find some authority worthy of your respect. I have added a forth dimension or value to my children, namely, “be disciplined”. Discipline is doing the right thing when no one is watching. It is , when you are alone , instead of eating in the kitchen, laying the table, carrying food to the table, sitting down, saying prayer before meals and eating the food; and when it is all done, taking the plates and washing them before retiring. Discipline is not just demanding people to take action; it is to do with getting them to first engage in disciplined thought and then take disciplined action. In this regard my parents were my first educators. My own preferred definition of education is, “what is left when all that you learnt at school, college or university is long forgotten.” What is left is “education” When you can no longer define the principle of Archimedes, when you can no longer deduce Pythagoras' theorem, when you cannot impute E=MC2, when all the neuroanatomy, or biochemistry is gone, when all the calculus you learnt no longer makes sense then what is left in you is education. A good education empowers us; provides us with the necessary knowledge and skills to undertake important tasks in our lives, exploits all our potentials, prepares us to become global citizens and above all teach us to think critically. Text books teach people subject matter but they do not teach people to think let alone to think critically. I believe St. Mary's gave me a good education. St. Mary's instilled in me the notion of discipline. I recall the early morning wake up call from Brother Louis or Bother Paul Major, rain or no rain, would roar at the door, “May Jesus live in our hearts” and the chorus, “Forever”still ring loudly in my ears. We were taught the appreciation of classical music. I developed then a passion for classical music to this day. We were given dancing lessons. I wonder how many of you can dance foxtrot or waltz or calypso? We were given courses in etiquette. We were encouraged to ask questions and to ask the right questions when faced with complex decisions. We were trained not to cone by rote, but or cram but to try to understand issues and express them in our own words. Now that I can no longer remember the academic issues, what I have left in me is education and I can proudly announce it was a good education.
Lastly, what is professionalism? The definition I found is , 'being engaged in one or other of the learned professions i.e. Legal, medicine, engineering etc. A better definition is exhibiting a courteous conscientious and generally business like manner at the work place. Another definition of professionalism is the conduct , aim and qualities that characterize or make a profession or a professional person. The majority of us here are professionals or belong to one or other of the professions. Do we exhibit courtesy? Are we conscientious ? Are we business-like in our work place? Do we exhibit qualities that should characterise our profession? Are we reliable, accessible and courteous to those we serve? I leave it up to each of you to answer those questions
Our mission in this world, according to the late Pope John Paul II, is to seek God, study the world and serve humanity. All of us have a mission to fulfil. If we are still alive then that mission is not fulfilled and definitely not completed. According to St. Thomas Aquinas, “God's grace works through nature”. Encountering God in the bits and pieces of every day life is what we should strive for. Remember the people you encounter in the streets, in the class room, in the market, in the taxi park are your gods. This earth is crammed with heaven. The people who come to your consultancy rooms whether you are an Architect, an Engineer or a Medical Doctor are all your gods. Please treat them as if they are God. Take your heart to work and ask everybody else to do the same. Don't let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth, don't let them get swallowed up by the great chewing i.e. Complacency. The ancient Buddhist expression states, “ If we are facing the right direction all we have to do is walk” I was amazed to learn that a SMACK old boy designed the Chogm logo, not me brothers.
I suspect Mr. Henry Kibirige wanted me to talk about quality university education. I have intentionally avoided doing so because quality education begins in the home. The ruin of a nation begins in the homes of its people. Quality education begins in the primary and secondary schools. Unfortunately, by the time the students get to university, the dye is cast and it is almost impossible to mould them into quality products. I thank you for listening to me.
Breaking the Curse of Poverty
Many times I see people who have the assets to get out of tight financial situations, but because of laziness or fear, they never use the leverage of their assets to make the corrections that are needed to continue their prosperity. Then
poverty and want come upon them like an armed man, and in the process of
time they end up with nothing. (Excerpt from “Breaking the Curse of Poverty” by Dr. Wayne C. Gwilliam)
poverty and want come upon them like an armed man, and in the process of
time they end up with nothing. (Excerpt from “Breaking the Curse of Poverty” by Dr. Wayne C. Gwilliam)
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