AikoGraphics: February 2022

JESUS was betrayed for 30 silver coins by a disciple who later hanged himself...

You cannot get everything you want, but Double Happy-iness is wanting everything you get (which is Contentment). At the Y-Corner (Junction), either you go left or go right! Every pain has its healing remedy, no problem lasts forever and ever. This post is dedicated to everyone going through very tough and anxious times (including those who never asked me for help to deal with their mental health problems). It's about cultivating mental numbness in this cold world; some things won't go your way but wait for those that do, even if just 55 percent. The Earth is big enough for all of us to share to our fill. Life is hard, but GOD is harder. Everybody has problems; sidestepping them mentally is your own personal choice.

According to World Health Organisation (WHO), 10 out of 100 Ugandans commits suicide every year. That is quite high though I do not trust some surveys. For every death, there are more than 20 failed attempts. Globally, suicide is the 2nd Leading Cause of death among young people after Diseases; data translates into 1 death every 40 seconds. There have been very many suicides reported in the media since I was born but the one that hit me hardest was Chester Bennington (Linkin Park lead singer) in 2017; he was like a posterman for the fight against pain during my A-Level (2001-2) and Campus (2003-6). Another was a 30 year old hardcore Lionel Messi fan in Kerala, India who couldn't carry on with life after watching the GOAT lose 3-0 to eventual runner-up Croatia in Game 2 during the FIFA World Cup Russia 2018 that followed a shocking 1-1 draw with Iceland and put Argentina on the brink of a very early exit. His suicide note read, "I have nothing left to see, am going deep into deaths." Dinu Alex could have stayed to witness the splendour in the 3rd game against Nigeria (Yes it is!) plus Copa America and the record-extending 7th Ballon d'Or in 2021; Messi's 4-0 exit during the 2019 UEFA Champions League 2nd leg semifinals against later winners Liverpool after a 3-0 Camp Nou victory almost broke my heart but I accepted the demise that brought him tears; at least he got the Goal of the Season Award plus 6th BDO then. Messi always performs wonders after a World Cup year ever since I started following him feverishly in 2009. On the calendar, 10th September is World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD) though the entire fortnight is significant for coping while 10th October is World Mental Health Day.

Tears wash away the pain in the heart; meanwhile cheers plus rain wash away the tears. Suicide is a ticket to the Suicide Valley in Hell where the punishment is eternal suicide; you keep killing yourself. Even though I don't know where GOD sent them in the afterlife, Samson (The Strongest Man of All-Time), King Saul (Chosen by GOD) and Judas Iscariot (Disciple of JESUS who was HIS accountant) committed some form of suicide in the Hebrew Bible, but it is not a virtue. Saul's armour-bearer fell upon his own sword after seeing his master had killed himself in 1st Samuel 31:4-5, Ahithophel hanged himself in 2nd Samuel 17:23 because his counsel was not followed while Zimri burnt the king's house over himself and died after the city was taken in 1st Kings 16:18. Job went through pain and suffering but did not follow his wife's advice of cursing GOD in order to die. His problems were caused by the Devil who wanted to test Job's faith but failed. Your problems are your wooden cross, carry it until Resurrection!

DANGER TALK (Armageddon of the Brain): Suicide is a song whispered by the Angel of Death; either you sing along or worship GOD instead, LORD have mercy!

The very first suicide I can remember quite well was an Itesot smoker and drunkard on Spire Road (in Jinja during the early 90s) named Ochorodo; he locks up his room and poisons himself. A back window has to be broken to reach his corpse at dusk. He would send me to buy for him cigarettes but I would refuse because I wanted him to stop smoking; my first Kampala friend's father in Bukoto smoked daily and died of lung cancer. His uncle also smoked and would throw blunts in the compound which we picked to resmoke. I found cigarettes quite sour...

A lovey-dovey rastaman drowns himself at the Source of the Nile where (like Aquaman) he used to rescue people who had fallen in the water after his girlfriend elopes with a Whiteman. I used to watch them walking together on Jinja streets; they looked very complementary like Bob Marley and Lauryn Hill (Turn your lights down low)! The dreadlocked guy usually held a guitar and the chick wore sexy designer fashions. I wished them happiness together but things fell apart. Some rumours said he went back to where he came from in the water. This story is similar to the song "Nyambura" by Radio & Weasel...

A Kyebando Kisalosalo neighbour's wife drowns herself in a Green Valley Kamwokya river; corpse discovered early morning...

A Kyebando guest house proprietor kills himself...

Politician's son shoots himself with his father's pistol...

Boy jumps from the top of Mabirizi Plaza to the Umeme Railings on Kampala Road. He wrote that his decision was because his family did not pay attention to him...

Kisalosalo girl kills herself after breaking up with her boyfriend, the news appeared in The New Vision on 1st April with her photo. Who cracks Fool's Day jokes about suicide? It must have happened...

2006: Asha Chekwel hangs herself in a Mariny Parish (Kasere Subcounty, Kapchorwa) church after her in-laws block her from meeting her love Alex Chemwonges...

2012: Liz Waluga, a 2nd Year student of Social Work and Social Administration at Uganda Christian University - Mbale Campus pours paraffin on herself and burns to death after a disagreement with her boyfriend Musa from Islamic University In Uganda (IUIU) who wanted a relationship break in order to concentrate on studies...

2014: One of my Nicest Friends and Hostelmates at Macos named Philip hangs himself in his muzigo rental because of accumulated debts. The story is broadcast on Bukedde TV's Agataliiko Nfuufu news bulletin...

Annet Ashaba, 26, from Ssembabule District, jumps from the 14th floor at Workers House (October 2014) after finding out that a relative had fleeced her of money she sent from Dubai where she had been doing kyeyo...

George William Obina, the 58 year old Chairperson of Koch Goma Subcounty Land Committee hangs himself. The preceding year, elders performed a ceremony to exorcise evil spirits after six people (including four women) committed suicide in one week. In a suicide note found on his body, Obina complains of an unhappy marriage...

Deus Kabisire, 25, jumps off the last floor of Mabirizi Complex. He leaves behind a note showing that he was in love with a woman who was not interested in him even after spending money on her (December 2014)...

2015: Bodaman from Mbarara but working in Kasese hangs himself on an avocado tree after betting 500,000 UgX (171 US Dollars) that Arsenal would beat Monaco at the Emirates Stadium following a 1-0 win in France; I watched that entire UEFA Champions League knockout game and knew Deus Ruhinda's pain. I've never really felt suicidal after Arsenal losses even though in 2009 I felt my heart melt to liquid during a different 1-3 UCL home loss but that was the reason I became a Lionel Messi diehard and what a glorious ride it became; simply Messi-merising! Football taught me that even if you train very well, prepare extremely good tactics or have a lot of talent, you can still lose by even just one goal in the last minute. I have followed football since the late 80s and the only match that brought tears to my eyes was when Leeds United beat Arsenal 1-0 at Elland Road in Y2K with a goal from Olivier Dacourt because it brought back memories of the failed title defence the preceding season at the same venue. I was 14 years old when tears formed; every Arsenal victory over the Whites after that match has always been sweet...

2016: My beloved cousin hangs himself in Mvara (Arua); he wanted to go for further studies and was not satisfied with his income flow. A Mukiga friend of mine attending a wedding in Arua as the Best Man on the burial day joked that I would commit suicide next simply because he heard that I used to flirt with one of his tribemates whose family he knew about. I could not join him for his friend's happy day, neither did I celebrate when Uganda qualified for AFCON 2017 after 39 years of failure because I was mourning my cousin. There was a wooden video shack near his bereaved father's home and when Farouk Miya scored the all important goal, I heard the jubilation but didn't celebrate. Depression is a choice; that is why I avoid suicidal thoughts through Mindshifting (Full control of my own Omi [Mind]). Some of the Suicide Notes people write as reasons for ending their lives can be sorted out with Time and utilising your 3rd Eye just above and between your two outside eyes (where your mind, body and soul meet to jump waking reality plus find unlimited but hidden inner wisdom). All of us go through Pain (Abuse, Curses, Difficulties, Disappointments, Failure, Frustration, Grief, Insults, Intimidation, Losses, Love-gone bad, Misfortune, Mistakes, Poverty, Rejection, Shame, Sickness, Stress, Struggles, etc); some people just absorb the shocks, cope and move on faster. Others cling to their pain instead of renewing their minds. After discovering in 2001 that the first girl I ever loved like myself had been dead for some time, I searched for another who used to care about me until the lady told me I will be perfect without her (as my wife). She used to be so kind to me that it felt like she had three hearts. That was the 2nd wallcrack in my heart; her J. Lo-licious half-sister consoled me but she also had other dudes on her case. So I chased after a new babe for 16 months on campus until growing apart brought me some type of heartwreck (I probably died in 2005 like The Wolverine from a heart-weakening problem) which I mended by befriending the supercalm Mukiga in question plus re-adoring a preteen I fancied since A-Level holidays. It's all about mental jumps. I cannot kill myself just because one skirt rejected me; there are billions and billions of others on the entire Debit Earth. Women lie, men lie; but keep smiling! Narcotic drugs (like the Devil's purple pellets) nor marijuana smoking (maybe marijuana tea) nor alcoholism are not even solutions, dust yourself up and try again! If you have a problem, then just look up (oneway) to Heaven. Betty Mpologoma advises: Londa e namba yo [Pick your number]...

2018: A South Sudanese-Kakwa namesake (Edward John Lukudu) doing IT at Bugema University (Arua) hangs himself on Tuesday 17th April at 4pm with an electric cable thrown up the timber of his hostelroom's roof after his laptop and bag are stolen. It could have been me the following Wednesday morning when I discovered this suicide after a dreamvision; two days later my Favourite Football Manager Arsene Wenger announced his decision to leave the Emirates at the end of the season. It felt like suicide forced by his haters (plastic fans); wish the Invincible One returns to Ashburton Grove in any other capacity...

Boy hangs himself on a football goalpost after getting a loan of 2 Million UgX to bail out the girl he loves only for her to reject him...

A neighbour's brother in Anyafio (Arua) hangs himself on a mango tree; a week later his daughter also tries to hang herself saying a voice told her to do it...

2019: Reagan Opito, a Senior 3 student of Aboke High School in Kole District locks up and hangs himself in a hut after allegedly being "disappointed in love". His suicide note indicates that his "long time girlfriend" who was in Senior 2 in the same school terminated their two-year relationship. It was through telephone that she said she would not marry him; he had contributed to her tuition...

Doctor commits suicide after being exposed in a BBC Africa Eye documentary in conjunction with Uganda's NBS TV about "Stealing From The Sick"...

Vin Karungi, 18, drinks poison in Ntoroko District after being beaten by her cattle-keeping father who had confiscated her recently-acquired smartphone...

Teenager hangs herself in Hoima after harsh comments from parents and neighbours for performing poorly during the 2020 PLE exams. Daphine Nakimuli obtained 28 aggregates in the four subjects. Personally, I got 4 on 4 in 1996 PLE but never despised anybody who got 36 aggregates (worst possibility) because school does not end in P7. In her suicide note, she described how she was feeling unloved, describing how her parents and siblings scolded her over her PLE performance; she took her own life to get rid of that. She mentioned several people whom she described as her enemies including Mrs. Jesca. She advised her fellow children and relatives never to commit suicide and encouraged them to live happily. The school headteacher at Bwikya PS Mr. Francis Bagonza described her as a quiet, well disciplined pupil (July 2021)...

2022: Emmanuel Okello, 18, a Senior 4 student of Makerere College School hangs himself in the compound after locking his father Moses Opio inside the house on 10th January while his siblings are taken to school. The deceased had expressed his disinterest in returning to Macos. His father had even got him a position at St. Kizito SS Namugongo, but he wasn't happy about the choice. I studied at Macos (My 2nd Choice after Ordinary Level at SMACK) and despite being rebuked by a few schoolmates plus whipped at sunrise for leaving the hostel late, there was nothing else that made life undesirable there; it was a very fun place: Friends, Main Hall Concerts (or Productions), Library, MAPA Festivals, sneaking out to watch Arsenal games, UEFA Champions League nights in the hostel studyroom, Weekend flicks, Sunday service plus lunch, appreciating beautiful campus Women passing through our school side, etc...

Policeman attached to Field Force Unit (after working for the Armoury) at Arua Central Police Station parks car around Sunday 24th April 2022 and hangs himself; leaves no suicide note. Martin Aluma, who was Andrew Felix Kaweesi's bodyguard before the former Assistant Inspector General of Police (AIGP)'s 17th March 2017 assassination gives the keys to his motor vehicle to a woman he is staying with at Ayiko Cell, Ayivu Division in Arua City at 8pm saying he is going on a journey. His body is found hanging on a tree in Mission Cell, Komite Ward, Ayivu West Division, Arua City at 6am...

Bright Namusoke, 20, a Senior 6 student at Kitebi Senior Secondary School hangs herself with a rope at about 4pm on Wednesday 6th July 2022 in Ngobe Zone, Bunamwaya Division, Ssabagabo Municipality, Wakiso District. Relatives tell Police how Namusoke returned from school and informed them that a teacher abused her and she was very angry; they don't take it seriously but later find her hanging in one of the rooms in their house...

Monica Karungi (aka Mona Kizza on Facebook, born in Isingiro), 24, falls from the window of a high-rise building in Dubai (about 7-9 storeys) apparently after finding out that the man she used to send her kyeyo money to back in UG used it to marry a different woman. The waitress used to earn 2 Million UgX per month. Other people speculate that work-related ish-ues [BS issues] caused her to commit suicide. Her last note can be seen on Facebook though her brother Jackson Akwandanaho intimates that his younger sister was pushed (as in murdered) following misunderstandings with four friends who stayed with her. She was planning to shift after Eid Day. Karungi's face-down fall is so chillingly horrific that she breaks every bone in her body. May GOD be merciful...

Arafat Kasule, only 11 years old and in P4, hangs himself on a mango tree at St. Luke Catholic Church Kyanja, about 250 metres from Kabira UMEA Primary School where he reported at 8am on 14th September 2022 but didn't attend classes...

Private bodyguard Wilson Sabiti kills himself using his gun after shooting his boss Rtd. Col. Charles (Patrick Okello) Engola, the Ugandan State Minister for Labour, Employment and Industrial Relations in May 2023. Witnesses say the soldier fired bullets in the air while yelling that he had not been paid (about 4 Million UGX) for a long time despite having worked for the minister. Senior Presidential Advisor on Media Joseph Tamale Mirundi narrates, "The bodyguard saw the minister receiving money after making deals at Labour Day celebrations and was sure that at least he was going to get some money to solve his problems." Sources divulge how the minister directed that 140,000 UGX be given to Sabiti through his mobile money account but he gave them another person's phone number because he had a debt on his line. The next morning, Sabiti demanded for more money...

2023: During the DNA craze that gripped Uganda, a man discovers that two of his three "children" are not his yet he invested a lot of money in them; he jumps off a building...

NAYE OFA KI?

Suffer Patiently or Quietly (I learnt that mantra from Sniper School): Take the dark nights and sunny days, salt and sugar, sweet juice and sour medicine, droughts and feasts, success and failure, wins and losses, admission and retrenchment, kisses and insults, highs and lows! Life is a depressingly monotonous routine: Wake up, work, study, travel, eat, visit toilet, solve problems, sleep; then repeat. The earlier you accept your predicament, the smoother you go through the motions for 120 years waiting for GOD to cut your silver cord (Ecclesiastes 12:6). Unreceived Prayer answers can be depressing too like Prince of Persia and Greece (Daniel 10) but GOD remains LORD; remember how HE made meat fly to the complaining Israelites! Better calm down. A Nigerian proverb says: If you put all your problems in one basket and take to the market, then you will discover that there are people with bigger baskets than yours. You fill a kobi [Lugbara winnowing basket] and discover there are actually people with issues that fill up a big ogea [harvesting basket]. You plant crops and animals eat the newly germinated shoots while another farmer's harvest is robbed before he can enjoy it. Rats eat your property; villagers mock you; lovers switch up on you; employers do not hire you; the list is endless. Depression is not an achievement; you snap-out of it quickly before it overrides your hope for a better future. Everyone goes through Ish [Shit, Dung]. Barcelona FC midfielder Pep Guardiola, the Best Passer of the Ball in the 90s taught me: When you lose, improve!

When life makes you feel at the bottom like a shoe, just keep walking; Footsubishi, Walkswagen, Gumbootini, Legsus, Daihatshoe, Toeyota, Shoebaru, etc! Depression is merely prolonged sadness; it's when you experience a brain attack full of insidious lies and half-truths week after week. According to Psychology Today: Unlike being unhappy, depression is a very intense feeling of deep sadness and despair that can last for days, weeks or even months. One Sunday morning, my father returned from Church, found me sweeping at the entrance and told me with distress in his voice that by living quietly, I lose the opportunity to become important in society; maybe I let him down with my silent lifestyle because am not visibly active in public places (nor very wealthy) but that convo almost deflated me. I had heard similar words from two girls near Kanyanya before but they meant nothing back then. My father was so emotional about my low-key status that I felt like my spirit was about to leave my body but used a 7-second window to sit down on a skyblue plastic stool and stay calm instead of collapsing. Making too much noise is not really my nature; I try to do it online instead. Baba unrelentingly repeated something similar on Monday 15th March 2021 and I felt about 83 minutes of pitchblack gloom within my soul until I got a very uplifting surprise message at 23:23 (just before I slept) from my ex-hearthrob whom I grew apart with in February 2005 (which was heartwreck for me) though we reconciled later. It was as if GOD whispered to her to check on me; her timely message healed me even though I solve my problems through Dreamvisions: I try to exist silently like a plotter because the mind is the command centre of everything that concerns you. Life is wild, I have to be very prudent! My mother told me I have no money and always stresses that am jobless. Every sunrise is a fresh beginning: No matter how dark the night, the lonely Sun always rises (to shine brightly) again without complaining. Cheers to new days, resets and restarts! Whenever people shame my skinniness, I feel absolutely nothing - zilch, nara; my bodysize is the frame GOD gave me and am proud of it because I do not have to worry about weight loss exercises like obese people. I fast food every week to detox my body and also for spiritual reasons. I know am not perfect, so there is nothing anyone can say that can make me hate my life; I already know my downside. A Senior 5 classmate in my new school Macos (where I had been sold by SMACK despite getting 15 points which was within the promised 17 point cutoff mark threshold) kept calling me "daft, stupid, fake and boring (with cassava-stem legs)", but instead of believing him nor feeling shredded, I fought back mentally and almost killed him with physical punches. All he wanted was for me to amuse him about "Women, Arsenal and Computers"; how absurd! Simon (the fisherman or the other of Cyrene who carried the cross for YESU) says: Shut the fuck up! I will cut off your ear or break your nose. He did not even intimidate me; I had seen scarier boys in Kisubi (murderers, bullies, homosexuals, thieves, witches, etc) but the Devil was probably using him to try and steal my peace. We all get bored, but it is primitive to blame others for your boredom; sneak into class with a radio scanner, Walkman or something else like a magazine or novel. I told him in his face that I was "going to bury" him if he did not stop belittling me and he eased up. He would check my grade results to confirm if he had done better than me but find out he was actually dafter than me in academics; I always scored more points. Having knowledge about many earthly things does not mean I can tease other people about their ignorance (Tebagala kumanya [Translated from Luganda: They do not want to know]); noone owns knowledge nor correct answers, not even Bill Gates - his role model. I forgave the prick to save my own soul from damnation. The only knowledge we need is that JESUS died on a cross for our sins. If no employer hires you for a job, it's probably the LORD giving you Time to become an entrepreneur; use your talents, if not five, then at least two or one! Throughout boarding school, I bedwetted (and even a girl I fancied in primary school knew it), but it did not make me hate my existence. The harder I prayed not to bedwet, the more I peed in my sleep on some nights as if some water spirit was blocking my prayers and mocking me. The only efficient remedy I got was to put a waterproof Macintosh sheet on my mattress; I would recommend a mattress protector to anyone (including toddlers) with bedwetting problems. My beloved cousin rebuked me as "lousy" in 2010 and it felt like a belly stab but I forgave her tongue, then a South Sudanese chick who wanted me to teach her the Luganda language also labelled me a "useless man" via Facebook all because of money matters and I lost interest in chatting with her: Being dead broke is the root of all evil. I do not worship money; my trust is in GOD who feeds sparrows and clothes flowers, so moolah ain't a thing. Money is not even more valuable than family nor friends; it's just a number. Wait when digital currency becomes the norm, mere digits on screens depressing us for no reason. Money comes and goes, eat it like Pakistani rice: I use the little money in my life like other tools eg pliers, but the Almighty is LORD of the entire universe. Worship GOD, not Mammon money!

Organisations like Uganda Police Force (UPF) Emergency (999 or 112), Uganda Foundation for Suicide Prevention (UFSP), Mental Health Uganda (Call MHU on 0800-212121 for counselling), etc can help depression sufferers deal with suicide ideation. If Depression is a monster, then what do we do to a monster? We stretch its mouth so that it cannot bite like Samson wrestled with a lion, stone it and cut off its head with GOD's help like David versus Goliath or throw it in the fire like the viper snake that attached itself to Paul's hand; it's all mental.

Pray to GOD, the Father through JESUS! HE can solve any problem; they are all too small for HIM: Our FATHER who art in Heaven... Give us today our daily food and forgive us our sins... Deliver us from Evil...

Amen!