Nayilo

Beer is bland, waragi is toxic, vodka is acidic while wine is expensive; nevertheless V&A sherry is sweet, Malibu tasty, Rum + Coke eyeopeningly electrifying and Smirnoff Black Ice quite amazing but alcoholism is forbidden; haram in the Koran...

No alcohol allowed...

I taste fermented stuff when it's available, so cannot act holier than others who drink silly, but it's hard to find me drunk...

I drink responsibly...

You must know when to stop sipping alcohol...

Quit drinking...

Drink a little for health reasons is an invitation to drink anyway...

Noah was a drunkard; even his three sons found him naked because of pombe...

The first successful suicide attempt I can remember was at a happening malwa home; Ochorodo a Muteso locked himself inside his room and consumed a poisonous substance. The back window was broken down to access his corpse...

Omwenge gutamiza [Alcohol intoxicates]...

Problem drinking is defined as more than seven alcoholic drinks per week or more than three drinks per occasion for women...

Bars must only open at 7 sunset and close before 11pm...

Maybe I like Bateso because of malwa; I consider them the friendliest Ugandans and their women look very beautiful, even when am sober...

Do you have a drinking problem? It's until the drinks cause ishues in your life that you realise you need to quit...

I used to put sugar in malwa and consume like porridge...

I cannot afford expensive alcohol eg Johnie Walker...

Uganda Waragi, Bond 7 Extra Smooth Whisky, etc are not really my taste...

Ali-koko...

Waragi kills, but people drink it to remain dead...

Kill me quick...

Waragi drinker vomitted blood and collapsed dead in Twenty23...

Why do drunkos have pink-patched lips? Maybe the chemicals in alcoholic drinks affect them that way symptomatically just like overusing clinical drugs does...

As kids, we would steal malwa drying in the sun in long black pans or on mats...

Mixing waragi with water reduces its toxicity...

Kawunyemu [Breatholyzer, Ingualenia, Smell in it, etc]

Some spirits are from Hell; people drink snakes ignorantly...

Drinking is not a talent...

One of the first times I witnessed the comedic effects of alcohol was when a drunko stopped somebody pushing a bike and attracted a huge crowd in the early 90s. He warned the sober man, "If yu don't jiv mi my money, I will chill yu..." That sentence stuck in my mind forever; I think he meant "kill"...

Banywi [Drinkers] smell like alcohol...

In the film entitled "Joe", a problem drinker (considered a failed husband and father) killed a homeless guy just because of alcohol in a bottle. He later committed suicide by jumping off a bridge into a river...

Certain sluts in my hood could give males their bodies if they bought them a sacket of waragi worth 500 UGX...

For the Kingdom of GOD is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17); drinking here includes alcohol too...

Alcohol kills...

The Holy Eucharist involves wine. Maybe that gives priests especially in the Roman Catholic Church a license to drink more than is permitted...

Mi omve mani bodaboda-i, amu nga mu muchomo nyaria, biya mvuria... Ayiko ga tre [Lugbara Translate: Call for me the bodaboda, let's go eat muchomo, drink beer... Happiness is full]" (Black Harmony)...

The Book of Proverbs and Apostle Paul talk about giving strong drink to troubled people or drinking a little for good health but 1st Corinthians 6:9-11 also warns that wrongdoers will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, "Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor DRUNKARDS nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of GOD. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord JESUS Christ and by the Spirit of our GOD"...

Drunk animals like apes behave very funny...

Let's take buji [porridge] to the bar...

The first time I tasted alcohol was in my pre-teens, but I was not thrilled by it...

People drink certain types of alcohol to get the nervy kick of its sourness...

Juice is unfermented wine...

Wine is available at 1,000 UGX, not just 15K and above...

Waragi is acidic and corrosive...

One for the road...

My father worked at a brewery when I was young, so I knew about beer early. Every month, they would get four crates each and one alone was worth more than the salary paid...

Replace Nayilo with Kyekyo...

Ewa 'be ma ra [Alcohol did throw me] (Black Harmony - Arua)...

The smell inside Nile Breweries mixture barns almost made me drunk in P7...

Crazy people survive on waragi mainly; less solid food...

My name is Bond, James Bond! I prefer my Martini stirred, not shaken...

Some bornagain brother joined a brewery and I was mesmerised; this is the same dude who found me surfing porn at Klub 5 within Makerere University during Senior 6 and felt disappointed in me. Let's not judge each other; byansi byakuleka...

Ugandans drink beer using straws...

"Don't drink and think" was my first editorial cartoon at The UCU Standard Newspaper on Monday 7th May 2007. I modelled it on a hostel friend I laughed alot with since 2004: He was reading a book upside down while boozing...

Because of neat advertising, Club Beer just felt corporate like Isaac Mulindwa Jr's Club Silk...

Whoever aspires to be an overseer... is to be... not given to drunkardness (1st Timothy 3:1-3)...

Waragi makes some people very skinny...

Some drink for fame; they want to be known as bottle-champs by everyone...

When a woman calls you for a drinking spree she promises to pay for, she might want to have your babies...

Lot's daughters made him drink wine so that they could rape their own father (Genesis 19:30-38)...

Drinking is not a competition...

Don't drink and drive...

Ugandans are considered the Biggest Beer Drinkers on the planet...

Moonberg lager came to UG with force; a hood buddy worked there...

My aunt runs a distilling company in West Nile; Lugbara in Kampala ask for her employer's products from shops...

Kasese seems like an alcoholic town because of its name; the fresh alcohol can be so potent that the smell alone burns your nostrils...

Brewing never ends...

Germany's Oktoberfest finally landed in UG...

My uncle could still drive straight after intoxication...

Another Round TV show with Gaetano and Marcus is not watched by drunkards only...

I don't want to drink any more. Forget it, bartender, give me one more...

A workmate would drink waragi from morning to evening and sometimes ask for 300 UGX at sunset; that's not even enough for transport but waragi coz he lived nearby. This was a guy who could sleep with campusers in the open like a bonobo ape. One day, he collapsed in a roadside gutter and was taken to Nairobi for dialysis. When he returned, he looked renewed plus very honourable and stopped wasting his life...

A lawyer wasted 20,000 UGX on booze at Arua Park and started begging people for 1,000 as taxi transport to take him to Banda...

A beer bottle costs 2,000 UGX or more; that's 2 GBs worth of MTN UG data which can make you more money instead of going down the drain...

Arua Boys made a lot of money from smuggling oil to Uganda across the Congo border and spent it in Bantuland on booze and women...

Some nurse in Mukono who gave me astronomic drugs in my First Year, First Semester once sent me to buy for her waragi before she could prescribe to me new medicine and I was flabbergasted...

Alcohol is forbidden in DRC but people smuggle it in from Uganda...

At my campus hostel, some people would eat a rice meal, drink beer and throw up in the sink; it was so disgusting that I tried not to brush my teeth there; would use boiled water I stored in my roommate's jerrycan...

Bar fights with beer bottles around can be very deadly...

Drunk-texting...

Malwa gatherings are considered intellectual meetings because of the intelligence shared along with the drinking straw...

The stench of urine in the corridors near malwa joints is very horrifying...

Beer ammonia in unwashed urinals can be very repulsive...

Pass the kavasiye (local spelling)...

Isn't kachacha from Brazil alcoholic? Heard it in Araguia (TV series)...

I do not fancy buying beer, but used to drink it especially Tusker Malt and Club at parties or during sponsored outings...

Occasionally, I would stock Zed pineapple waragi; some drunko sitted at a shop I bought from even followed me one night but I used my elusion skills to evade him...

A neighbour used to drink waragi daily; she later converted to wine...

A campus fellow narrated to me stories about how two of his drink-buddies died because of over drinking; he survived but did not stop tasting liquor...

Some people drink as a status statement...

Vodka burns the tongue and makes it look cracked like land that has not received rain for years...

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer-holder...

Booze can make you, beyond midnight, lust after the female kafunda bartender (Is kafunda bartenderess the right title?)...

Two staggering drunkards tried to molest an unknown but distressed young damsel on a dark street in our hood and I came to her rescue while returning home from work around 9pm; one of them ran away while the other threatened to beat the girl and her "boyfriend" - referring to me, hahaha! I was ready to push him into the manmade village river. The girl had left her sandal behind while running towards me for safety but I walked her back with my nalongo Orange Telecom phone torchlight and located it. We parted ways after reaching the brighter roundabout streetlights...

My cousin used to drink waragi in the morning and evening; her legs swelled as if she had elephantiasis...

Another cousin was drowned in a heavy downpour of rain after going on a drinking spree during Easter; he owned a village bar that had very strong liquor...

My aunt's husband told me that alcohol is from the Devil and I must not drink it. I believed him because I knew he drank it a lot while I was growing up in Jinja. Maybe he had stopped...

Vino is Wine in Lugbara, but it can also mean Ink...

Alcohol makes unattractive people desirable in the drunkard's eyes...

Lugbara make cassava lager [okaritua] in clay pots; it's sour and taken while sitted in the sun...

Kwete reminds me of malwa; it's customary to drink it after a meal to ease digestion...

Paulo Kafeero, depo yazigala [Luganda for: he closed the depots]...

I cannot take part in a drinking contest...

Went for a birthday party and sipped V&A. Then a lady who drank waragi like water daily came and sat on my right; she placed her left palm on my right inner thigh for some minutes and said: You are mine! Mentally, I made sure I didn't get turned on simply because I was pantiless but the sherry in my veins felt quite heavy at the bottom of my heart; it was pure wrestling inside...

Alcohol in Lugbara is translated as Ewa which in another tone means Difficulty and Elephant; alcohol is a very big difficulty...

You do not find peace at the bottom of the beer bottle...

Some drink to get the courage to say certain things...

There was no alcohol sold at my mother's shops...

Like money, booze multiplies somebody's true nature without inhibitions...

Alcohol transforms some females into tarts; that's how they get raped and cannot even tell who the real zadi of their kids is...

Stay sober...

Drunkards Anonymous (DA)...

Some youths reason that maturity is being able to tank many beer bottles without getting zonked...

A neighbour's brother from Australia would drink in the malwa joints around the hood and abuse everybody; some guys told me they wanted to beat him up...

Drinking does not take away problems; it might actually bring more...

Even if you locked me up in a beer depot, I wouldn't drink to get drunk...

One time, my left leg went through a scary phase after drinking one of two sackets of waragi given to me; a few weeks later, the person who had given me the waragi broke her leg...

United Gombololas (UG) Joke: What did the Nile Special logo say to the Quencher logo? You are not my type...

You can pee on yourself involuntarily when drunk...

The last time I got drunk, I whispered in some lady's ear at a petrol station on a Saturday night that she reminded me of an OG I had last seen five years behind; there was a man sitted next to her on a cemented grass mound (probably her husband) but I still got her phone number. Thank GOD, he didn't beat me up! The next morning, I went to a new church to pray and detox my headache...

She broke up with her lover and resorted to drinking as solace...

Tried to sip my beer at a graduation party organised for two of my OBs and a piece of chicken fell off my tilting plate; another OB gave me his chicken...

City 5 waragi killed about 14 people in West Nile during Twenty22 just like some waragi did in Kawempe around the 2010s...

Who would you prefer: Bobi Wine, Barbie Wine, Lil' Wayne, Dwayne Gabana or Chicco Wine? 

A cousin's tenant from the US had multiple brands of bottled liquor in his rented apartment; he left them behind as rent arrears...

After heartbreak, some people resort to booze as a remedy for pain instead of mindshifting...

People drink to forget their problems, that's what we were taught in school...

When hangover is over, the bad memories rush back...

Romi Wine tastes weird...

Some teachers would drink like they weren't role models to the learners; we would watch them stagger back home in the night...

Drunken master...

It's not easy walking straight when intoxicated; it's like when your ear gets a disturbance during sleep, you lose your balance while you get up to go to the toilet. It's very dangerous to rise up swiftly and immediately; you have to calm down first...

Many people perish in road accidents caused by drinking alcohol...

Cirrhosis of the liver looks very ugly under a microscope like cracks on meat...

Four Cousins, one bottle...

Some men get drunk at sunrise...

Women who drink unreasonably disrespect themselves...

Alcohol makes you feel very sharp as if all your nerves are cleansed...

You can buy for some girls a whole crate of beer but they won't give you their goodies...

Old friends are like wine, they get better as the years pass...

When questioned why he cheated, one man told his wife that it was because of booze...

Bella Wine looks great, a true Ugandan story...

A certain Ugandan jobber stopped drinking profusely simply because his non-alcoholic Christian girlfriend never castigated him about it...

We learn from the drinking mistakes of those who came before us...

Drink water...

Me and my dad used to make wine but stopped...

One time I made banana juice and forgot it in the fridge for one day; when I finally drank the cup, it smelled and tasted like wine...

Isaac from Maracha is amazingly ingenious; he makes his own fruitwine and travels with it to functions, sipping momentarily as he enjoys the proceedings...

JESUS turned water into wine is the excuse drinkers give...

At the wedding in Cana, the best wine was served last...

Excessive drinking is harmful to your health plus pocket and can be psychologically numbing...

You don't need alcohol, you need JESUS...

Resist alcohol; it's all about self control...

Not suitable for persons under 120 years...