Pastor Norman Quotes

Every Sunday between 9:30 and 10:00 (previously 10:30 and 11) AM on Voice of Life FM (Arua), Pastor Norman Acidribo (born 18th February 1968) from Arua Full Gospel Church at the Northeastern Foot of Arua Hill teaches during the Sunday Half Hour Gospel Show. You can call him on the studio-line, but for privacy, dial 0772-355305; GOD bless! Below are some of his Quotes:

(Prayer:) The many Things YOU do not want us to do today, let us not do them... I'm a Vessel YOU can use... Without YOU, I wouldn't speak YOUR Word... LORD GOD!
We are grateful to GOD that we are alive... Many have ceased to be...

Let everything that has Breath praise GOD, regardless of your Religion... Colour... Status...

I usually like the King James Version...

Our Struggle is not against Flesh and Blood... It's against Authorities, not our Councils in Arua but dark Forces in the heavenly Realms...

Your Faith must always be taken up above all the other Armour... Why Shield of Faith?... This Shield Paul was talking of was almost 2-3 Feet high and curved in to protect the Body... Those Days there were no inter-continental ballistic Missiles, B52... RPG, Bazooka... They had Projectiles... He parallels it to the flaming Arrows of Satan. Inter-continental Missiles Satan has, Chemical Weapons Satan has... Equally we need Protection and this Protection Paul says is our Faith... That's why the Bible says, without Faith, noone can see GOD... Satan wants to destroy you...

Take up the Shield of Faith so that you can extinguish the flaming Arrows of Satan before they can hit your Salvation... Truth... Righteousness... Preparedness...

In Luke, when Jesus was walking on the Sea. The Apostles didn't know... Peter said: Can I come to you? Command me to come to you... Peter began going to JESUS Christ... But Time came when the Waves rose against Peter so hard and he became afraid... He began to sink...

Satan's Arrows come in form of Fear, Worry... Fear comes in your Emotions: What am I going to eat, how are my children going to School... That is why Christians have resorted to go to Shrines of Witchdoctors, Warlocks. Where is your Faith?

The Person, instead of glorifying GOD in Marriage decides to take a Shortcut especially my Sisters when am talking to my Friends the Muslims. They say they were Catholics and married a Muslim... Now they are denying Christ that JESUS is not GOD. What Faith was that?

Don't confess negatively upon your Family, upon your Clan... I come from the Yole Clan... Someone out there is saying: What good can come from the Yole Clan?

Somebody is being lied to now that you cannot be healed...

Build up your Faith, the Devil is coming with an Arrow...

If I go to Saudi Arabia and there is only a Catholic Church, I will go there...

Let's keep the Unity of Faith... Sometimes we become the Victims of our Faith because we want to stand alone... If you are a Pentecostal and there is only an Anglican Church, you can find a Brother to fellowship with. You can hear the Word of GOD. Are you stronger than Satan, I'm not... But HE who is in me is stronger than the World...

(Sunday 9th May 2020) Today, there's a lot of competition in the Church. Why? We don't understand the Grace... Operate according to the Grace given unto you... There are some people here who have began ministries, they have not gone to Bible College but their churches are full... Now for me, the Grace given to me to shepherd people here at Arua Full Gospel is not the same given to my dear sister in Ediofe... If you are a singer, sing... I've visited three or four places where people are flocking and the majority are even Muslims coming and some get born again. Why don't we celebrate and say: GOD's grace has worked out but we begin to tear each other: Wo wo wo wo, that one is a false prophet, cult. By the way, the same measure you measure is the same measure that will be measured unto you...

(Sunday 20th March 2022) We give GOD glory that we are alive... Friends, you may be poor (lacking something this day: food, medicine, school fees, all these things press on us) but in all this, think about one thing: Why am I alive? Give thanks to GOD... No man has authority beyond GOD... GOD has spoken to us through the Bible, but Culture is also speaking... Cultural expectations are in variety... In other cultures, women are upholded (upheld). In Asia, women pay dowry but here - Lugbara, Madi, Alur, men pay dowry and all that... What was GOD's design? HE created male and female... Who are you? Thank GOD I grew up as a boy to a man, but am seeing my sisters not enjoying. Why? HE created them in HIS own image, the same status... No one is undervalued... Cultural expectations come according to where we belong... In the Orient, women pay dowry but in Arua, Nebbi, Pakwach, Madi, Adjumani, Koboko, a man has to pay and then owns a woman. When it comes to inheritance, boys are given their portions but the ladies are not given... When I was still a young boy, it was only all the boy children of my grandfather who were allotted land; my aunts were never given land. Why? Cultural expectation; the women are made lower... In the books of other faiths: Two women are equal to one man; a woman is half of a man, hehehe! I usually say: Eh, then how does this work out? In the perspective of Genesis 1:27, GOD created man in HIS own image; male and female... When people undermine you, they call you poor, what what, I mean you should encourage yourself: I'm not poor, am in the image of GOD; GOD is not poor. You might be in a state of lack, but you are not poor. View yourself in the image of GOD... Our challenges and complications come because of our attitude; we take the word of people more than the Word of GOD... Today, women feel very inferior... They should look at the Word of GOD... What was the context in the original plan? Many families have broken because of that also... Avuti [Sacrifice for a corpse] and jotile [Door-opening fee required from in-laws during burial] in Lugbara culture are not biblical...

[Sunday 2nd October 2022:] 30 minutes after my confirmation (at Mvara Senior), I was smoking a long cigarette we used to call omboko... I'm a follower of JESUS... My mother was free, I would tell her am going to church, but end up at the Roman Catholic Christ the King, then I line up to eat sweet Holy Communion bread... It's not about your denomination, it's about JESUS. Why are we quarrelling? I was a bangi smoker/ mairungi chewer for two years but when I joined (Armed) Forces, I was afraid that I'd be arrested and sent to prison, so I stopped... M7 taught me how to shoot a gun but if he declared Uganda a Christian nation, I'd carry a bigger gun... Muslim humour: Can GOD die? No! Did JESUS die? No! So, is JESUS GOD? No! Hahaha... Even if you're a prostitute, surrender your life! Noone should abuse you; I know what you're going through... 

[Sunday 7th May 2023:] Faith is about JESUS... If it's religion, I could have been anywhere. I grew up near the Hindu Temple next to Arua Public Primary and when I was a small boy, we would eat the bananas they dedicated to their gods, heehee! I knew it as food they gave when they came out... Muhammad got some things from The Bible... Muslims believe JESUS will come back...

[Sunday 2nd July 2023:] I do not take it for granted when people say Uganda is the Pearl of Africa... It's the only jewel formed by a living organism... A grain of sand falls into an oyster which secretes a juice that hardens around the sand and forms a pearl sold at a high price... The longer the pearl stays in the oyster, the bigger it is... You should know the value of the Church; the one who started the Church paid a great price... People fear that if you become a theologian, you will become poor. The Church is very glorious, very rich... The one whom the Church came from is GOD... GOD owns everything... The first person who knocked at my door this morning is a Muslim; she told me: I just want to believe in JESUS Christ... It's not Norman's Church, Church of Uganda, Full Gospel, etc... It's the Church of Christ... The lack of money does not mean you are poor...

[Sunday 9th July 2023:] Are you fruitful as a child of GOD? The number (of fruits) and quality matters... A branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in JESUS... There are almost nine entities in the fruit of the Spirit... Let us offer the sacrifice of praise to GOD continually... The fruit of our lips... There are many nations in Arua; I see the Somalis here (running petrol stations), Chinese, Indians, Arabs... Sometimes, I get angry when Christians preach to fellow Christians only, even if some are nominal... Every Somali is born a Muslim... The Somalis are brought near here, why can't I reach them? Let's catch fresh fish... Being an usher is the greeting ministry; welcome new people with a smile... People saw me cutting grass outside the Church and said: Pastor is also mowing grass... I know the mechanism, I have the talent to mow grass. Why can't I do it?

[Sunday 18th July 2023:] Thank YOU for life and the oxygen we breathe every day... Other people pay for manufactured oxygen but ours is free... Guide the President as he addresses insecurity in the country! Confuse every person planning war against this nation... Deliver patients from the torment of the Enemy... People term anointing for very many things that are not... In the Bible (Old Testament), there was a special anointing oil made using various special mixtures. For us in the New Testament, we believe we are anointed by the LORD through the Holy Spirit... Allow the anointing to work out what GOD wants to accomplish... I was battling, thinking: Should I desert the Forces? I would still preach, my mentor was an officer... I was also good at business... Not that when the LORD anoints you, people will fall down... I've seen people pushing children of GOD down... Why exert force? Anointing can even be for you to clean the toilet of the Church; that's where you will find your breakthrough... You will not be running around: Pray for me, pray for me!

[Sunday 23rd July 2023:] The Lugbara do not go for burial to mourn but mock: Look, he did not build a house here! They go to see the road to your place, your people, etc. After burial, they want to return and gossip...

(CC) YESU Magazine

Build Giant Solar Stations

INSTEAD of building dams yet water levels are decreasing and in the end destroying our beautiful waterfalls, the Government should experiment with giant solar panels. Uganda lies astride the equator so the sun’s energy is abundant for exploitation.

Edward Aikobua,
Mukono
(Published in Sunday Vision, 22 January 2006)

Isn’t Kel’s a true musical Genius?

I’m not the Hugest Fan of his but (among all the international musical artistes I know), only Robert Kelly stands out as the one entertainer with an unbelievable midas touch. Maybe it’s because he did the soundtrack for my Childhood Icon Michael Jordan’s 1995 ‘Space Jam’ movie but every song, duet or remix he works on is a hit.
[My cousin Edwin Paratra probably influenced me to write this because of the TP2.com album he had, but the only song by Kel’s I did not like for a moment while growing up (though seemingly Gospel) was “Storm is Over”, because of the Video. The angelic choirs made my spirit tingle a bit since I couldn’t get over some of my hurdles in life with or without their help.]
Kel’s actually seems to me a naturalized Man of the World with a doze of Godly reverence in him.

Money Can Buy Anything

Whoever said ‘money can’t buy love’ must have been a false prophet with minimal tact in romantic logistics. It’s not about how much but how. Are you pursuing someone? Use your tact and best wit backed by money and see whether they won’t fall for you under the weight of your investment versatility. Jesus said that we should use our money to win friends. From love to success, life to freedom, GOD’s salvation (hmm!) to immortality/ eternal bliss, there’s nothing money can’t buy. I’m not being blasphemous but Jesus, the LORD of All told a young rich man that if he wanted to inherit the kingdom of Heaven, he should go and sell all he has, give the money to the poor and then follow Christ. Paying tithe (10% of your income) to the church bank will make you richer. I have evidence; an extra 0 figure or more on the amount you offered.
Chelsea Football Club’s winning combination started with Benjamins or let me quip and say ‘Romans’ from Russia. No Americans here. A rich oil tycoon named Roman bought the club which had last won the English League once and in 1955, paid off all their debts, bought high profile players (like Didier Drogba), increased their salaries, hired the services of an accomplished coach (Mourinho) and three years or two seasons later, he had literally bought success. Abramovic rebuilt the Roman Empire in two seasons and one day. During the 2005 Barclaycard Premiership, Chelsea defeated Manchester United home (1-0) and away (1-3, the unforgettable score that clinched the trophy). On their way to the Carling Cup championship, Chelsea also out-muscled the Red Devils, drawing 1-1 at the Bridge and winning 1-2 in the return leg.
Do you still disagree? Okay, then Eminem has ‘got the money to have you killed by somebody who has nothing.” Think about it: A price can be put on your life. Ask Jesus (No fun intended). Why are beautiful women bought? I mean, they may not love the man but become the wife. Was he looking for their love or just the position?
If you want me to give you an ‘encore’ of this topic, there might be a ‘Parental Advisory’ warning for explicit content.
Farewell Jose
[This letter was written immediately after his cruel departure but published no where]
“I am a die-hard Arsenal fan but will always cherish Jose Mourinho. When Thierry left, I froze momentarily but also looked at the bright side; Henry will be able to compete favourably for the FIFA Player of the Year Award and the remaining Gunners can distribute goals among themselves. When Mourinho left though, I felt the Premiership lost a different treasure. The Special One brought effective competition to the Premiership, a perfect ‘Blue Revolution’ (2005-7). Why couldn’t other teams also win the Premiership after Man Utd, Blackburn, United again and then us? Everton is always sexy but gets optimum seasonal blues, the Almighty Kops are somehow jinxed, Newcastle pretended in 2001-2 and West Ham do not hammer hard enough. Chelsea certainly struggled in the fantastic Zola-Poyet-Guillit-Wise-Hasselbaink eras but Abramovic’s arrival blinded us to believe that ‘more money means more triumph’. [Romanian striker Gustavo Poyet once exclaimed that with only one free kick, Italian teammate Gianfranco Zola could score two goals.] I’m not downgrading the great talent of Terry and Company or Abramovic’s riches but Mour’ was the charismatic genius who attracted more big name success to Chelsea: 5 trophies in 3 years and no home loss at Stamford Bridge is just awesome (Mourinho-some). As they say in Portuguese (or Spanish, I don’t know), ‘Adious, Signori!’.”

Government’s Gift to Exporters

Private Sector Foundation Uganda (PSFU) has since June 2005 been implementing the Second Private Sector Competitiveness Project (PSCP II). This is a 5 year World Bank – Government of Uganda project aimed at creating sustainable conditions for enterprise creation and growth. Under its three components – Developing infrastructure and financial services; Enhancing enterprise competitiveness; and Improving the business environment – the project’s various innovative activities are intended to increase value addition, support linkages between enterprises and improve skills for MSMEs. To make this happen, PSFU is working together with Uganda Investment Authority, Uganda Law Reform, Uganda Registration Services Bureau, Uganda National Bureau of Standards, and Ministry of Lands and Urban Development.
“A powerful, distinctive, and appealing national brand in case of the country or company brand, is one of the most valuable gift a government can give to its exporters. Today, branded exports are one of the most potent ways of building and sustaining company and subsequently national image.” The Business Branding Linkages (BBL) Programme is aimed at capturing more value from profit margins associated with branding and marketing.
The expected outcome is that our products will be differentiated from those of our competitors thus making it more difficult for them to compete for our customers. We expect to attract a higher price for our products. This will enable us to communicate with our products using consistent messages and build a positive image for our businesses and our nation.
How is the PSFU going to support this initiative? The program will identify sectors/ firms in the country suitable for branding or with potential to attract incremental benefits as a result of branding and assist them on a cost share basis by: (i) Hiring branding consultants to assist the firm/ sector undertake market analysis in international and regional markets and identify products, market segments where Ugandan producers could successfully penetrate. (ii) Developing branding strategies or campaign. (iii) Working with identified firms/ sectors to the creation of new brands/ sub brands and improve the quality and efficiency along the value chain in order for them to meet the required quality and quantity requirements. (iv) Providing support in respect of the brand related costs arising out of the recommended branding strategy i.e. advertising, marketing campaigns, design of materials/ packaging and creation of branding stories.
Eligibility is based on whether the applicant is privately-owned and is not fully or partially owned by Government; The applicant is carrying out business in the MSME sector with a potential for export to regional or international markets in any category apart from production of weapons, alcoholic beverages, tobacco and gambling; Companies are in compliance with tax and requirements; Cost share basis grants are up to a maximum of USD 100,000

© PSFU Exporters & Importers Directory 2008

The PSFU (Private Sector Foundation Uganda) & MTN Trade Facilitation Exhibition on Friday 27 June 2008 was, I must confess, an illustrious success though I came in late from Kampala Town around noon. With stalls on almost one half plus on the long ends of the North Western Exhibition Hall at Lugogo Show Grounds, a large area was set aside for listeners to sit and you could see that the exhibition was well attended. A minister from Rwanda was speaking when I made my entrance. An apology was made by the MC about the absence of one of the panelists who had to go to the airport earlier than scheduled for checking before a voyage out of the country that evening. I expected PSFU chairman James Mulwana to be there, but didn’t see him. Could he have been the one mentioned?

Anyway, after the minister, Richard Kamajugo a URA Commissioner [AC – Trade] on behalf of Allen Kagina started by conveying the Commissioner General’s remarks; personally I think she’s always brilliant and considerate to tax payers, you know, the aura of motherly love makes her great. I do not know much about her white predecessor but call Kagina the “Customs Mama”. Please don’t tell her daughter Mitchel that Aiko said so…Her words conveyed by Commissioner Kamajugo were worth writing home about, “Today, because of the technology, reengineering and a common East African customs understanding, consignments can be cleared within 24 hours unlike in the past which took many days... Customs is the branch of URA that handles exports and imports.”

Lunch (a package of chicken, salt, sausage, sumbi, tomato sauce, and irish) plus a drink were served to the tired listeners to woo them back from the stalls to hear more because the commissioner was not done yet. What else would you expect other than feeding all those present when these guys had made a lot of money from the sponsors and exhibitors? Richard’s subsequent presentation was about URA’s role in the export business. (For more details about his presentation, I would suggest that you check out URA’s website @ www.ugrevenue.com) All I could gather because of food in my mouth (I wasn’t prepared to write) was that some taxes had been waivered. The Most Interesting was the waiver of income tax on new agro-processing businesses 30 Kilometres outside Kampala in the new financial year which was just four days away on Tuesday. There was also a waiver on trucks that carry loads above 3.5 MT (Metric Tonnes) so buying such a truck in the new FY would be cheaper. The commissioner Richard Kamajugo even advised businessmen to replace their family saloon cars with an export truck if they so wished… Richard also mentioned the usual waivers of tax on exports such as hides and skins [yet in the past, no body was allowed to export them]. “Uganda gets her foreign exchange from exports. So without large amounts of foreign exchange, we cannot trade for imports with the foreigners. URA has come in to facilitate and promote exports…”

This was more of an export promotion exhibition. UCIFA Chairman Omar Kassim was also one of the speakers and said “UCIFA is always open (for exporters and importers)”. Sponsors (who were honored after the Rwandese minister’s speech) plus Advertisers included (in no distinguished order) PSFU, Barclays, SkyNet, uganda telecom; MTN, UIA (Uganda Investment Authority) alongside UEPB (Uganda Export Promotion Board); Stanbic Bank; Nine international embassies like Holland, UK, et cetera; South African Airways, UCIFA (Sitting at the stall was board member Lino Cries Icila and the Secretary to UCIFA’s Chairman)…Secretary General Jad Johnsons Tabule who is also the director of Freight Kargo Masters was in the crowd and so was Assistant Chairman Lawrence Ayebare who listened to the presenters; CMA (Capital Markets Authority); dfcu Bank (offering Land Loans between 5 and 75 Million UgX and other services); UPS & Daks Couriers; UFFA (Uganda Freight Forwarders Association) the second Clearing and Forwarding Association in Uganda; Tourism Uganda, UAP Insurance Company and other exhibitors not mentioned; Citi Bank Group put up their banner but were not present…

Below is the spirit of UCIFA’s role in the import and export business. As the foremost umbrella body of clearing and forwarding firms in Uganda, UCIFA is an intermediary between customs and importers or exporters. They carry out the necessary customs documentation and lodgments of entries. The body advises clients on customs requirements, laws, regulations and procedures. UCIFA updates clients on changes that occur from time to time. It facilitates import and export operations in the most efficient and cost effective manner. Also, it advises on the mode of transport & the facilities in transportation; liaises with Uganda Revenue Authority and other stakeholders in the facilitation of import and export business thus facilitating trade and tax collection.

Onion Boy

People will hear the systems thump when you roll in life. The O.B. is not just your Old Boy but freakingly your Onion Boy (the O-Boy), a Ladies Man, Family Man and Best Friend. He’s back in the flesh feeling so blessed. He loves thick, cute, fleshy and swollen monocotyledons that can cause a crush and titillate his eyes. He wants to touch, hold and feel them. “I love these bulbs and their onion juice. But never let onions make you visually impaired!” warns your friendly neighbourhood Onion Boy…

Are you a Pimp?
How many women does a man really need? Lidz in the “Southside” video tells Lloyd to “allow only three great women in his life.” (Did he mean mum, sister and girlfriend or just three lovers?) What will he do with all the three? How much time will he need to dedicate to satisfy each one of them? Okay, forget the time. The issue is how you get the three! Do you use Shakespeare’s lines or read volumes of poetry books? I hear poetry turns women on. Hahaha! Hogwash…How many women did the great poets have? Talk about money and almost any daughter of Eve can shake her ‘glorious maximus’ for you. Ask Akon after he performs “Bonanza [Belly Dancer]” in a concert near your town [how they shake it]! Don’t be shy. (Maybe he will come back to Kampala for you, let’s wait and keep on calling.)
Another idea is the wisdom of men. Can fools really face up to the challenge? King Solomon of Israel was truly the Wisest Pimp in human history: 700 wives and 700 concubines must be a Guinness Book of Records Milestone somewhere. Ignore guys who claim to have slept with 432 bitches or more. I am talking about real wives, not bitches. So does that mean, we bachelors looking for only one partner are silly and unwise? Maybe Poetry doesn’t work.
The Quran allows men to marry up to four wives and when you get to heaven (Jana), you will have more female companions (houri) with big beautiful eyes. The Bahai Holy Writings prescribe not more than two.” If you are contented with only one among the maidservants of GOD, both you and she will live in tranquility”. That is also the Christian teaching spread by Saint Paul (in the epistles to Christ’s early church). If you didn’t know, GOD was not happy with Solomon’s 1400 companions; too much lust (according to the Mormon Bible). “I don’t know what you heard about me”. I’m broke…

[Original article written in 2005 (Bracketed words added in 2008)]

Mission: Impossible UG…

“WHEN we go to court, I’ll be winning the case…” raps Navio in Klear Kut’s rhythmic breakthrough collaboration with songstress Juliana Kanyomozi of the IJ Fame (in the hit-song “All I Wanna Know”). Although produced in 2000, this bouncy party song actually won a deserved PAM Award (Pearl of Africa Music Awards started in 2003, you can call them Ugandan ‘Pammys’ like the US ‘Grammys’). It seems that even in the studio Klear Kut will be winning the battle.
KK has a clear cutting edge in quality. Some good challengers, though solo artistes, ever since Ugandan Hiphop started growing fast in the first decade of this millennium are the free-rhyming Lyrical G, plus the very talented, knowledgeable, patriotic and socially conscious GNL (He'll kick it beyond Hot 100 FM to TV; GNL’s got what it takes to be the Greatest. He is the first signed Ugandan rapper. Platinum Entertainment signed up his record label Baboon Forest Entertainment Limited. Klear Kut works with him; Myth actually confessed that “GNL is the illest (Most Awesome) Ugandan rapper today”. He dresses hiphop, always walks with a swagger and never lacks poetry in his mind. GNL even won the Impala Award for Poetry in the whole of Africa. But what does GNL mean? Well, according to Aztec Wisdom, “At the highest level of self expression, you achieve [GNL] Greatness of No Limit”).
Ragga Dee is originally a ragga artist but he’s got some very hot crowd-moving rhyming skills you can categorise as hiphop. Rhythm and Blues guitarist Maurice Kirya is so real like hip-hop despite playing what the Mugwere - Munyoro lad describes as Fusion Music. I have loved his beats ever since I first heard him play and think his talent is truly phenomenal. There is also a free flowing Rapper who makes Lusogo sound beautiful, Babaluku is cool, Enygma is a very enigmatic Word-smith, Keko's Perception makes sense, Rocky Giant rocks, Lady Slyke is amazing, Sizza Dictionary flows, AK47 is Ragga Talent, Raba Daba tomusobola, Young Zee can speak, King Arthur is out of this world and Atlas will take you on a trip...
Klear Kut’s Navio, Mith (the Fattest - He’s “not a category but a catalogue…”) and the short guys Aba & Missing Link (Wasn't that JB back then?) sound so American you would be excused to think that they are gang-bangers. Of course this gang is dangerous in a lyrical sense, try them, you'll get hurt. Meanwhile, the Fifth element Papito has something for the European audience or Franco-phone speakers around the world with his French vibes. He can also spit Swahili and so he is Microsoft Certified for Windows 2005. Their albums are pieces of magic. No wonder MTV Base came to East Africa, that's Worldwide Recognition! Next achievement for the franchise: Immortality, I guess.

(Sir) Samuel Apedel

Hey Sunday Vision readers, do you know who used to be the co-editor of this fantastic weekend magazine from Uganda's leading daily? Well, now he moved to the internet department. I do not care if Queen Elizabeth knighted him or not while he was in Scotland but I still call him Sir because he paved one-way for me by leading through example besides being my lecturer at UCU. His name is Sir Samuel Baker, ahem excuse me, did I just mention the ancient explorer from Britain? I'm sorry I meant Sir Samuel Apedel, now you know.

Every one has a hero, no wonder some friend in Zambia phoned and told Apedel that he had named his son after him. By 2005, Samuel had a BA (Lit, ESL) MUK; Dip (BMA) Cambridge and M.A (C.S) Leeds. If there is one person I need to thank for giving me the grind to publish my ideas for widespread public consumption, it has to be ‘Uncle Sam’. What’s up with me and Itesots; why do my best associates mainly come from Teso Kere? Anyway, every time I publish an article in the newspapers or magazines, people call or beep me to acknowledge my modest wit. I’m an ordinary Ugandan who did not know which way to go until Apedel showed me one-way.
My Campus faculty dean - Ben Bella Illakut -thankfully addressed my 2005 internship Application Letter to the New Vision (one among the lucky few Mass Commers; the rest had ‘To whom it may concern’) but the Editor in Charge I was sent to for an interview said there was not enough money to hire many from UCU (though Mwiza, ‘Doryn’, Esther and Brens had practice there). Most interns were MUK students. I did not weep about the failed attempt but met Mr. Apedel and told him about my situation. What he advised me at the entrance of the NV block in April 2005 will always remain a landmark in my writing career. Personally, I did not fancy reporting breaking or daily news in newspapers and TV. My heart went out to cartooning or writing features, like the investigative infotainment style you read in Encyclopedias or watch on ‘CNN Presents’. Features do not call for tight deadlines like current news; so when Mr. Apedel told me to just ‘write letters or 600 word columns on any topical issues’, I knew I would gain my space.
I got down in an unused store (Formerly a retail shop for my parents) and brainstormed ideas from 7am to 4pm on certain days. For one month, I had no breakthrough until one Sunday when I called ‘the Man’ to ask if I should send my letters to the weekday editors too, instead of addressing them to only Sunday Vision which had limited letter space. Coincidentally, that was the day (Sunday 19 June 2005) probably my first letter was published. When he informed me that he had put one of my letters “Kudos to Saggy and Bad Idea”, I was overjoyed and gleefully went to purchase my Sunday Vision. That was the start of many letters including “Give Aid to the Hungry”; “Build Giant Solar Stations” [There’s a lot of barren land in game parks upcountry that can be used for development]; “I Simply Love my Sunday Paper”; “The West Owes Us”; “Mwenda Should Emulate VOA’s Ssali”; “Kudos to Gaagaa Coach”; “Congratulations SMACK OBs”; “Pray for Somalia”; “Leave Inzikuru Alone” [One Kenyan classmate called her my Girlfriend because I knew an intimate secret Dorcas had told someone else who also told me] and one whose title ‘Respect Mothers’ I dreamt was published before even writing the content matter. I also published in Daily Monitor (Wenger - the Miracle Economist; Survival Football), African Woman plus Premiership Magazine besides actually receiving a 2008 World Bank Certificate for yapping too much. To-date though, I have reduced on the yapping in newspapers. But thanks to New Vision’s impeccable editing, I managed to see that people should be able to grasp the gist of your opinions in a few words or else you will fail to communicate ideas professionally. My Wordiness is probably ‘my Weakness’ (A 2002 confession that made my Economics classmates laugh hard) but thanks to GOD and the Google geeks, Blogger.com has no Word Limits for my weakness, Hee hee!
Apedel’s compellingly relevant course (Media Issues and Society) at UCU 2005 included Freedom of speech and Censorship/ The Media and the Individual vs. Public/ Media and Culture (What is popular culture?)/ Media Effects (Audience Study & Analysis): What actually happens when somebody reads a newspaper? / Advertising/ Globalisation and the Media/ Media Ownership and Editorial Independence/ Media and Democracy/ Going Digital/ plus the New vs. Old Media. He taught us that “A blog is short for web log. It liberates ordinary people to become journalists.” I love sharing knowledge because I have seen it set people free and propel them forward. Even if I’m not acclaimed as a successful journalist, I think blogging is the way to go as a knowledge worker though I took 3 years (4 years after Douglas Bowman designed the ‘Rounders 4’ Blogger template style) to get going after a motivational spark from another student of Apedel named Sharpe Cole Nimusiima (His blog is www.sharpeseye.blogspot.com). The reason why I did journalism was NOT because I wanted CNN to vote me the Best “Journalist” in the World but because I admired TV, radio, books, newspapers, etc … The content in the Media industry can lift up your downtrodden spirit plus show you how the world works. What is life without intelligence? Through my Journalism course, I wanted to learn how to make knowledge work for me in order to help others in whichever way I was built to do. Imagine one day, I walk into the Media Centre upstairs and find Mr. Apedel sitted at his desk with a computer, I wouldn’t mind sharing any good ideas if he asks me…
Here is a collection of some of Apedel’s wise quotable quotes while I was his student, though he did not tell us to write these as notes [My comments are in brackets]:
“When your friend dies, you should achieve what he hasn’t achieved…”
“The Most Successful People are not necessarily the cleverest …” [Some of them are very sharp in deed]
“If you give a dog a bad name, it will live up to it.” [The same might apply to sheep plus he-goats like me]
“Northerners are known for dressing in shouting colours like Green Jeans, Yellow Trousers and Orange Shirts. [This was actually very funny to many classmates]
“You blame everybody and at the end of the day, you have no one to blame…but yourself.” [Here he was humorously philosophizing like a well adjusted human being]
“Hidden knowledge is no knowledge; you’ve got to test it…” [The gap between potential and achievement is putting your skills into action and letting the market polish them…]
“Show me someone who doesn’t like sex and I’ll show you a psychological dysfunction…If you are stupid enough to have sex, don’t be foolish not to use a condom.” [Only eunuchs - castrated men and maybe circumcised women can be celibate; the rest of us are just living and dying to ‘get laid’]
“Uganda is a poor country. According to IMF research, even the billionaires we talk about in Uganda aren’t ranked among the Richest. But in the whole of Africa, Uganda has been marked as the Most Resourceful country on the continent – because many people are entrepreneurial and desire to make money.”
“You just have time to go back to your room to sleep and gas only.” [Mr. Apedel was condemning our campus behaviour of wasting time instead of using it for meaningful things. Although shameful, I guess I had a similar lifestyle though mine also included listening to music while sleeping in the afternoon, and watching DStv through the night. A classmate to my sister two years behind who was also my hostel-mate once told me, “If you were reading your books, Uganda would be developed.” Even if he did not target that at me, GOD bless him if he did, there was a grain of salt in what he said. We need to put our brains to maximum use.]
“You should be sharp like (Uganda Cranes midfielder David) Obua, pass the ball (in) to the net.”
“I do not want to see that corridor that leads to the shit house.” [Here, he was expressing his displeasure at females who expose their behind (ass) by wearing G-Strings, a provocative fashion craze around 2005]
“I heard that someone in this class keeps thinking, ‘Emily makes the hair behind my head stand’…” [My first impression of this seemingly sarcastic statement was that he was mocking all of us boys who thought we could marry our classmates who were probably already booked by outside men. We had not yet achieved anything big with our lives and could not even take good care of ourselves yet we were eyeing our female classmates. The second impression, though paranoid, was that it was indirectly meant for me. In November 2003, I fell in love accidentally with some beauty in our class but jumped out around February 2005. To ease my heart in the remaining one year at UCU, I willingly tried to have an affair with another sexy & lovely classmate named Em’ since she boldly called me ‘boyfriend’. The brave get what they want, you know…I might have been naïve in steering relationships with females but one thing was certain: I always stay real. If the girl gets tired of me, my heart is wide open…she can walk away freely. Eve did not conceive only one beautiful daughter. So if Em’ was another pillar for me to lean on, even for just those moments, I did not care what classmates gossiped. I simply breathed on and Emily surely made the hair behind my head stand…]
“Newspapers are the prime movers in setting news agenda … TV is for idiots, radio is for semi-intelligent people while real intellectuals read newspapers. [The Internet somehow brought back the newspaper’s ability to break news. I’m glad to be a part of Google’s Online Newspaper franchise where every writer edits his work and can set the agenda for his readers]
“By living, you are actually dying…” [Another very philosophical idea]

Creativity is a Spirit...

(Aiko's Drawing of the Armour of Light)

“Every example of genius has a tincture of our neglected madness,” read one quote in a millennial encyclopedia. We always fall in love with movies, stories or songs when they relate with ideas or events that have happened in our lives. It’s the natural way our spirits get lifted. Ask yourself why you enjoy action movies? Maybe it’s because you were born to be a stuntman or you are just energetic.

Wednesday 7th May 2008 was not only exactly one year since the first issue of The Standard – UCU’s bi-monthly Community Newspaper (where I am Editorial Cartoonist) came out but also the day ‘Ironman’ was released in the United States. I had been stalking this movie for half a year while it was still in production (watching trailers and a few clips) but up to today when I posted this blog, I must confess that even if it is already in Uganda, I have not yet watched the whole of it. [Anyway, I finally got Iron-Man, on Tuesday 15 July 2008, from my friend Bashir K. who trades Music and Video Disks somewhere on Wilson Road] What I like most about this character is that he reminds me a lot about the whole Armour of GOD described in Ephesians 6: 10-20 [Truth (Belt tight around the waist); Righteousness (Breastplate); Readiness to announce the good news of peace (Shoes); Faith (Shield); Salvation (Helmet); and the Word of GOD (Sword which the Holy Spirit gives)]. In Ironman’s case, the sword would be force fields from the palm, missiles or bullets from his arm.

In September 2001, I had an idea to produce a comic about GOD’s armour entitled “Armour of Light: Ironclad” (though I made the first drawing copying a Batman image without the sharp ends above the head but a modified helmet on 7 November 2001. I re-drew it on Saturday 19th April 2003)…My comic would feature a man called Michael, actually the arch-angel in human form just like Jesus came to earth in human form, wrestling for humans against Lucifer’s snares. He would announce (as the Trumpeter) the return of Jesus on the Last Day of this Age...My first seven episodes would be: The Devil Must Die, Introducing the Armour of Light, Runaway Devil, Soul of an Angel, The Good Fight, Lucifer and Judgement Day.

Unfortunately somehow I never developed my project fast enough, and wrote the plot only on Valentines’ Day 2007. But there is a saying that “dreams come true”, (if we keep dreaming). Macos Old Boy Simon Wamahe once told me that you may have an idea but if you do not work on it, the spirit of the idea will depart from you and influence another creative mind. UCU Alumni Jude Muyanja also told me, “You dream and other people bring your dreams to life.” That’s very true because I did not know about this Ironman character but thanks to Jon Favreau and the artists at Industrial Light & Magic, the film’s vision is almost like mine (No wonder I also love Vin Diesel’s 1995 ‘Iron Giant’). Even though I noticed the similarities between AL:I and Ironman as late as 2007, I was very happy and YouTubed a soundtrack by Apologetix for the animated version of Ironman. This song was just another rendition of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” Oscar-winning Song. It highlighted the spiritual theme of this super-hero epic. I love heroes whose transition powers are believable and seem GOD-sent possibilities like Ironman, Batman, Fantastic Four and maybe Spiderman to some extent.

“Life sucks but the only way we can come out on top is to get our robes (like Wonder Woman), go out into the world and be heroes, using the extra-ordinary talents GOD gave each one of us…” The Psycho said so (though he borrowed the idea from a Nelly Furtado song). Despite tampering with the plot a little (The cartoon had villains from the Far East while the movie has villains from Afghanistan), I guess the whole film is a masterpiece. I was very excited when only after one month, MTV voted ‘Ironman’ as the Best Movie of the Summer 2008 So Far…Wow, check it out tonight!

Sinlessly Sweet History

This ain’t Kinyara Sugar from neighbours Masindi; this is 100 % organic Bee Natural Honey: sinlessly sweet and authentic Ugandan honey from around Arua. I read something very interesting on a Bee Natural Honey can in 2004 and felt it had to feature on my Website. Honey is a delicious sweetener that can be used to replace sugar in a variety of drinks. It is used as a spread or as a remedy for colds and loss of appetite. Also suitable for diabetics and contains 0 % fat.

Bee Natural Honey is harvested in West Nile and represents the Happy People called Lugbara who are a Sudanic-speaking people. They were originally known as the Madi and the term Lugbara is thought to have come from Khartoum Arab slavers in the 19th century. In their tradition, the first two human beings “Gboro-Gboro” (Male) and Meme (Female) were super human.

Some traditions only speak of Meme, whose womb GOD (Mungu or Adrou) filled with the living things of the world. Then a gazelle (not the Arua Gazelle Dorcas Inzikuru but probably her ancestor) made an opening in Meme’s womb by rupturing it with its hoof and all the worldly creatures came out; man was the last to come out.

The Lugbara have a clientage system called ‘Amadingo’ whereby the poor would be looked after by the rich. Such clients were treated as members of the family and could be given land if they wished to stay. Bride-wealth would even be paid for them when they wanted to marry.

Email: sales@bee-natural products.biz
(Packed in Ug by Bee Natural Products Limited)

Jesus X-st, the Assassin

GODisgreat! Jesus Christ (aka JX-st in gangsta lingual) once said,“Whoever believes in me believes in the father.” So that makes Muslims the brothers to Christians, right? Right! Okay, the Quran says that “All those who believe in Jesus will be superior to the non believers.” So that makes Hajjatis Christian sisters also, right? Come on!

Not all the ideas below are mine, some I captured from a BBC World Service Radio program on Religion around the middle of this decade but anyway, read on. According to Islam, Jesus was an important prophet. There is a diverging picture of details but the fact is: he was one of the prophets. A Muslim is incomplete without believing in the Jesus of the Anunciation (at the trunk of a palm tree) and Virgin Birth. [There is a “brook that runs at your feet. Shake the tree; it will drop fresh ripe dates in your lap, Mariam!”]

Other Arabic writings speak of forgiveness. Many Muslims know Jesus as the prophet of the Heart (Peace & Mercy); the Letter and Spirit of the Law. Isa is the Prophet before Muhammad, the Last Prophet. [Charity means do good to that person who does harm. He who is not born twice shall not enter heaven]

According to the Apocryphal Gospels considered legendary by the European churches, Jesus brought the dead to life, healed the sick, and made clay birds. Muslims believe he never died and resurrected but ascended directly to Heaven. Isn’t this a clash of civilizations with Christianity? Muslims also believe that he was a man born without a father (very refreshing) and he is coming back. Did I pause somewhere? Okay, I just said that, He is coming back to KILL the AntiChrist who will be a Ruler in the Revived Roman Empire. Whoa, a compassionate Healer turned Killer or Thriller? I cannot wait for the return of the Assassin named X-st. For sure, the Christian Church has emphasized different aspects of the Christ Story. Christianity has played with the resurrection and crucifixion (Cruci-Fiction). Muslims are more orthodox about their traditional beliefs than X-tians. Islam is making us look again at our beliefs. We need to look to the future for our complete deliverance. Some one once asked me what I was saved from and I realized that the mortal combat continues. Not all who call X-st “Lord, Lord” will enter the Garden but those who do what they are supposed to do should, though it’s not a guarantee, you know.

Anyway, others believe that JX-st survived the crucifixion and fled to India where he ministered. He was laid to rest in Kashmir. He said, “Blimey, I have found a worthy shrine…” and decorated it. He was a revered prophet though not as the Son of GOD. Jesus influenced religions of the East. In Japan, they believe he used to plant rice and was buried there alongside his wife and kids. (Origato) Thank you for the news! The idea that Jesus was ‘Life after death and death after life’ terrified the Chinese, literally drove the living daylights out of them. JX-st married and had children. He bid his disciple Ababid to level the place, turned his head to the north and face to the East. Jesus went to Puri Anarisa and studied in the temple. He influenced Hinduism but not fundamentally. In Bengal, Hindus believed that Jesus was a good Hindu, a person who had specially come for a special mission. Teachings of Hinduism and Buddhism are mingled which automatically makes Bahai’s partakers in my Jesus tribute.

Some argue that Jesus could also be a creation of man rather than GOD, “You cannot create a perfect account of history. Subtly many different images of him have been brought up. Many faiths acknowledge his existence.” Mormons claim that after the Resurrection, he went to America. (In one New Age believer’s dream), Jesus wore a red and purple robe and threw flowers to a crowd. The messages of Jesus come directly first hand as New Age believers claim. They see him in visions and dreams.

“Now that this event is over, let’s celebrate!” Jesus said to the crowd while throwing flowers and riding in a carriage [Probably of Lambourginis and Mustangs, you know. Just kidding!], in one New Age believer’s dream. Christianity cannot claim that Jesus is its own. He embodies the fundamental truth of human suffering and eventful relief. Christ can save anyone from one’s struggles. In Arua, we say, “Life is a beautiful struggle.” Ask 88.2 Sanyu FM’s sweet voiced Malawian-Ugandan presenter Crystal Newmann about that statement – she likes it and Christians, Muslims, Buddhists & Rastafarians should always remember it.

For us Africans, he was exiled in Egypt during his younger years and probably had relatives from Ethiopia (Forget the Rastafarian Selassie, I’m talking about Queen Sheba and Wise King Solomon: Jesus’ ancestor knew that the Best Women all reside in Africa). While I welcomed the delay of Doom’s Day at the start of Y2K, my favourite movie about the X-st was ‘The King of Kings’ by director Cecil B. DeMille who also worked on another masterpiece ‘The Ten Commandments’. Actor H.B. Warner portrayed the best picture of Jesus in the 20th Century at least by my standards. This X-st was neither pretentious nor sanctimonious; he was the real deal. Warner used to fast during filming and I guess that’s where he got this Christ-like feel. Other good movies include ‘Jesus’ which was shown in many churches during Christmas in the 1990s (In the 2000 Millenium Anniversary Edition, Brazilian ace Ronaldo da Lima called X-st ‘The Number One…Didn’t he mean Number One Assassin); ‘The Last Temptation of Christ’; ‘The Boy Jesus’; ‘The Judas Project’ shows what would have happened to Jesus if he had been born during the time of SUVs (Sports Utility Vehicles) and Automatic Rifles; Mel Gibson’s ‘The Passion of the Christ’ is the Most Grotesque Description of X-st’s final week alive. I even silently shedded tears of conviction in my room while watching the part where the condemned prostitute was touching our Lord’s foot in appreciation for saving her from being stoned by Pharisees. After watching ‘Passion’, one man confessed to having murdered someone. Consciences were rekindled. There have also been musicals such as the Rock ‘N’ Roll ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’.

JX-st, our new super-hero from Nazareth is the Assassin who will save us at the Battle of Armageddon (Megiddo, Israel) …Van Helsing, what happened to Calvary, man? Why do people back-slide? We live like Pharisees, demon-influenced hypocrites [Runaway devils, and Hell-boys] who claim to know the Word like real Men of GOD but have no Power to shake the Devil. We need to become Spiritual Snipers bringing down evil powers and principalities in the invisible realm. Will we be forgiven completely for failing to terminate them…I ain’t blaspheming but just trying to find answers before we reach the new Zion. Peace and Love, church!

Say No to Racism Madiba-style

[This photocopy image of Nelson Mandela (Madiba) was penciled and inked by Aiko… Jude Karuhanga my Fine Art classmate (1997-2000) and also one of my biggest Ugandan inspirations said this is ‘very good technique’. What do you say?]

On Wednesday 25 June 2008, the world started celebrating the birthday (which funnily falls in the next month on 18th July) of the World’s Most Popular 90 Year Old , former South African President Nelson Mandela though the London Party, where stars like Master of Ceremony Will Smith, his wife Jada and other stars such as Jamelia, Amy Winehouse, the talented 9ice plus others was staged 2 days later on Friday evening. Bebe Cool dressed in an orange prison cloth with the number 46664 and a chain around his shoulder, alongside three other performers dressed in orange, rocked the crowd with the song “Born in Africa”. Now I see why me and my friend Lhynnq-x thought this Ugandan reggae superstar deserved an award in the inaugural PAM Awards 2003, “I was born in Africa…my wife is from Africa…” With the message “It’s in our hands” (referring to the fight for freedom especially against AIDS and racism), the ailing Mandela walked on stage holding a walking stick while his wife G. Machel supported his steps and gave a speech to his adoring audience. The party continued with a concert by various artists.

Nelson is not only a hero in RSA but also the whole of Africa and the rest of the world. After spending 27 years in a Robben Island Prison (In-mate Number 466 in the year ‘64), Mandela got out to fight on and become one of the annihilators of the perilous white-dominated Apartheid Rule.

I do not know much about Sam Biko or any other freedom fighters but while growing up in Jinja (1984 – 1995), most of the South African themed movies like one blockbuster about 2 big boys - a black guy and his loyal white friend who fought the white Police; or news stories depicting South Africa showed Blacks being oppressed by whites and the former’s struggle to end this difference. One township that never desserts my memories is Soweto and the Police beatings or killings during riots. But for me, the one Black who stood out firmly against this madness was ‘Madiba’. My mum really loved him, personally I liked his designer shirts later on in life of course (The New Millennium when he became a Pop Icon), and not only because they were artistic fashion masterpieces but also he never tucked them in. Talk of Madiba being an inspiration for us students who did not fancy school rules; boarding school is like a prison, Robben Island to be exact. (No hate intended school headmasters, it is all good: It brings out the best in us) Just imagine Madiba had never been imprisoned, he probably would be dead and gone by now but thanks to the renewing experience behind bars, RSA gained independence in 1994 from white rule.

Shaka Zulu died when the whites were coming and now that they have relinquished their hold on power, I hope Nelson does not die before they leave. Anyway, I hope they do not leave despite the recent upsurge of violence by black South Africans against foreigners. For me (that is me, myself - Aiko), Madiba will become immortal if he lives on beyond his 92nd birthday…I guess it will be during the 2010 FIFA World Cup, the first installment in Africa. Wow, that will be a legacy to remember; afterall he was among the people who seconded or added weight to the bid for the 4 year rotational championship to come to Africa. Next call 2030 somewhere in East Africa. They say dreams come true. Wait and see as we kick racism out of football and the world! Happy B-Day Madiba!

Why Africans die from Malaria

According to research from John Hopkins Hospital. No, I think this was research from Kazo, Mbarara (in Western Uganda - better known as Ug' where treated mosquito nets are distributed free): it has been discovered that "the muscular male anophelese mosquito lifts up the net so that the female can enter" and inject her victims with malaria parasites. (Don't laugh, these things happen in Uganda) Man, this is a scary discovery...We might need to put askari flies to guard our nets, talk of security companies providing help by gathering and training 'dem soldier bees, wasps or house flies. Why should flies spread cholera or sting us and yet they can be employed elsewhere? This message was inspired, sponsored and motivated by Theatre Factory Hospital Kampala...Man, those dudes and babes are really funny. Catch them every Thursday at National Theatre for the Comedy Night or on NTV (Nation TV) every Sunday at 7.30 PM. Pablo is a stand up genius; Tindi is too funny you would think there is humour locked up in her booty. I do not mean humour like in your eyes but fats of laughter (I enjoyed the skit where three new comers in Senior One were being teased by her and a friend); Richard knows how to act drunk; Frobisher is Gaddafi incarnate; Zizinga is lost in translation; Hannington Bugingo acts confidently confused (unlike in the Kiwani Movie where he was so sharp though merciless)and the rest also sizzle though I won't mention them here. The best cure for your malaria problems is to watch the doctors of Theatre Factory perform their operations on your funny bone...

Crack

While on Campus, two friends really bothered me and made me spend lots of my airtime trying to hook them up with a certain chick called Blessing. She was beautiful and a true fighter even in tight situations. So when she finally came to UCU alongside probably her brother to check on the two boys, they were not in sight for a moment. But when they reappeared around the Bishop Tucker Administration Tower, the main dude walked through the arc as though he did not know me. He was holding a business card in his left hand (given to him by another man he was following). I did not know what to do but asked him why he did not want to talk to Blessing. He retorted that he never had any feelings for her before and would maybe think of seeing her in future. For now, he had an urgent deal to chase with this man who was beautifully clad in elegant men's clothes. I asked his friend who was behind them but the lad seemed indifferent.

I left them to go their way and walked down to the old gate while consolingly holding Blessing's left arm with my left arm stretching behind her back as she wept. I told her I was sorry for what I had put her through and the airtime she had wasted calling these guys. The shorty had broken down completely but she told me that she had already forgiven me for everything... How love relieves us, my mind was now free. I knew she would have a brighter day some day but not with these boys who had played with her heart and emotions.

Is Uganda Developed?

Someone asked me on Wednesday 11th June 2008 if Uganda is developed and I half heartedly replied 'No', there are two sides to this issue. "We ain't that developed but are heading there at a rate of 9 per cent...

Okay, the first reason why we aren't developed is that when it rains heavily, murram roads are muddy and almost impassable.

Secondly, we still use bicycles and haven't learnt how to travel on skateboards. [Nevertheless, there is a skateboard rink somewhere in Kitintale, Kampala (‘The first’ of its kind in Uganda according to Sunday Vision in June 2008)]

Leaders or MPs (Members of Parliament) take long to implement infrastructural development policies in their constituencies despite displeasure and expressed annoyance from their people.

In the forth place, lovers are not expected to go far and know the relatives of their partners before a formal "Kwanjula". What if your mother calls me by name before you tell her or I get your brother's contacts from him before you have introduced me, am I going too far?

Pastors have different powers, it seems. Some go underground, others use electric shock gadgets or undisclosed powers. Robert Kayanja will bless you, then when you go to another pastor, you start having (wet or) bad dreams, nightmares to be precise. Does that mean we have to remain loyal to one church, but I thought the church was bigger than just one pastor...Okay, if you follow what you see in the dreams, you might realise your developmental progress hampered somehow in real life.

Lastly, people still borrow phones from their friends. "Why don't you get your own?" An MTN kabiriti costs only 40k, that's almost the Poverty Line that stood at earning about 24,000 UgX per month a few years ago...I hear some autographs by Ugandan stars cost 10 to 20k or more, sign here please!

The 2nd Annual Kampala Street Art Festival

I missed the first Kampala Street Art Festival simply because I thought potholes were going to be painted (at least that's what the theme expressed). However when my brother phoned me on Saturday night to ask me if I knew about it [The Pre Party was going on], I made up my mind to check it out on Sunday afternoon. Left home at around 2 PM, three hours late but got into the colourful vibe. In the First Year, I attended the Pre-party (though I walked out early with my soda coupon to catch a Real Madrid match at Shiners’ Pub near home) and missed the festival. The game was just enough to make my weekend though I got a terrible headache due to the high-pitched music blasting in the pub. This year, I missed the party but enjoyed the Festival. The first stall I sighted on the Southern side of Bukoto Street had shoes (bought from Owino) with soil and plants in them. They were sold between 1000 and 3000 UgX as a fundraising drive by UGCS (Uganda German Cultural Society)for the next Street Art Festival within the year. The first guy I could recognise was seated under the tent on the opposite side of the shoe gallery. Denis Kato is a guy I had met just a few days before at Bahai painting. Man, his neighbour Allan in shades on the left had a wonderful piece of a gorilla on cloth. Another artist sat on his other side, my right. I walked to the middle of the street to watch musicians perform, couldn't buy anything, neither sofa covers nor designer shirts but they looked okay though. After music by the 2008 Bell PAM (Pearl of Africa Music) Awards PRO singing to a clown in the middle of the road (This guy actually drew the kids around most), I headed to the other end of the street (It had what I wanted to see) near Record TV and the old UGCS offices before returning for more musical entertainment.

Present on the street were the usual suspects: Tina Wamala, one of the MCs (If you don't know her face, you must be from Mars or Venus) alongside her workmate, a very knowledgeable lady in matters of Sports (Record TV's 'Half Time Show' co-host, that is); Roberta (UGCS Director); Xenson; Ras Jjingo (holding a camera and clad in the First Bayimba Festival's promotional T-Shirt; Peter Otim; plus two of my musical old boys form Macos. Other beautiful people included models showing off comfy Stella Atal, outrageous Xenson and artistic Latif's designs plus another guy who had only one design, tie and die with a big ganja desin on the back.

The musicians stage was mounted on the pavement in front of purple QC Saatchi & Saatchi block. Sarah Ndagire clad in black pants and a pink Indian style dress ( with dark pink and black block designs at the front like those by Peter Otim) stole the show with 3 or more songs from Bunyoro with background Afro beat music performed by 'Soul Beat Africa?' that included my two OBs. Other performances were the crazy "Aka hee? Aka Hee ho!" band of musicians. One 'Kanyama-man' dressed in a devilish mask and trousers with the word 'Jaguar' repeated all over first danced before jumping through a bicycle wheel with a friend and then showing off his tough body by lying on nails while his colleague stood on him. The Fattest Lady in the crowd who was called to do the standing gave up because she thought he would die. Maybe she had accepted the call thinking that she was only going to be carried.

Teenagers who had traveled in many towns of Uganda to spread the message of peace through Break Dance lightened up the faces of 'bazungu' with their street hugging club house dances. Background music included American hit songs like "Promiscuous Boy" by Nelly Furtado; A song by Lil' Kim, Method Man and "Touch my Body" by Mariah...Every body seemed to be moved.

Sponsors of the 2008 'La Ba' Street Art Festival included Goethe Institut, UGCS, iguana Bar & Lounge, Freedum, Sadolin Paints, Alliance Francaise plus the German and Dutch Embassies.

There were public art mounts of mechanical wheels pivoted together to make a majestic tower. Another blocked the road. One of Xenson's crazy fashion designs had Coca Cola cans on a wobbly dress and another had a wierd mixture of cloth from different attires for a lady's trousers. My best revelation for the day though was the new Casalina Art Gallery and Casalina K. Fashion. When I asked the beautiful lady at the tent how long it had been around, I was shocked to learn that it was only "three months old". If that was not newsy enough, then how about the location: somewhere in Kisementi where I pass every month...Plot 3, Cooper Road behind Aisha Salon. They showcase pieces from various artists including Jjuko, my best for the event.

An Alur singer called Suzan? spiced up the evening with two or three songs in her mother tongue mixed with English perhaps for translation. One rhymed, "I'm just a child, without a dime...". The other had, "My wealth is in my soul...". These were fantastic jams though I couldn'yt decipher the Alur but I think it is a good idea when West Nilers combine their lingual with ESL (English as a Second Language).

Mukiza and his troupe also performed skits. Two white babes and a black one danced ballet before the latter joined Mukiza and another black man to produce a tri-logue about 'Committment'. The woman defined it as a man-friend listening to her while the men considerd committment to be the fact that I can have my woman's body, that way you will be committing to her and her great sex antics. Mukiza reasoned that, "GOD intentionally made men few so that they could have more than one woman." I wonder why some chick suddenly came from no where and caressed my left arm from behind. I looked behind and we were both shocked to see that we did not know each other. I was tight lipped and she apologised immediately. You see what committment can do...I'm committed to Art.