Monday
Paraa-dise
Welcome to Paraa-dise, where you can get fear-smashing ferry rides from one river bank to another; fantastic tourist rides in motor boats while watching the beautiful expanse of the Victoria/ Kyoga Nile as it makes its celebrated journey to Lake Albert, Sudan, and finally the Mediteranean Sea in Egypt. Don’t you want to feel connected to the places where life began – Ethiopia and the Middle East? ; Paraa Safari Lodge (the mansions in Paraa-dise); hippopotamuses breathing out air and yawning wide; Murchison Falls; the game Park with elephants, antelopes, emblematic Uganda Kobs, and other attractive animals; the green forests; plateau land with scattered coco nut trees…
Is this Route 666?
The Bible calls the number six three-score the Mark of the Beast, but who is the Beast? Does he cruise among us? Some writings say that the next pope after Benedict the XVI will be the Anti-Christ. How about Osama Bin Laden? Can you kill innocent civilians in GOD’s name and claim to be for Christ…What kind of ear-slicing is that? Even when Peter did it in defence of his Lord on Holy Thursday, Jesus told him it wasn’t necessary. Many times while returning home from Nakawa via Ntinda Stretcher, I see vehicles with 666 in their number plates. You wonder whether the owners are happy individuals or even Christian in the first place. I would never cherish anything with those digits together even if surrounded by other digits; they spell disaster. No street in the whole of Uganda has as many cars, not the same ones by the way, with that number on their plates than Stretcher. Amazingly not many accidents occur here and the only ominous things I have seen are dead cats or dogs on the road. Otherwise, Route 666 from Spear [or the Mango Boulevard] to Ntinda stage is not so dangerous…I just hope it is not a route to hell.
Tribute to my Art Teachers
I might be naturally talented but sometimes I believe all my Art teachers since nursery helped me polish my skills to some level...Below is a tribute to them:
Mrs Achere, R.I.P. (Primary One 1990): fat; caring; met me again in 1991 while visiting my eldest sister Gladys alongside my family at Tororo Girls School. She also had a daughter there. Taught simple drawings plus English Language… I was Third Overall in Second Term and First Overall among 2 other male classmates before joining Primary Two; I heard that she died of cancer, GOD bless her soul…
Miss Nabirye (Primary Three 1992): a Musoga with Somali features; brown; tall; quite slender but looked very strong… Was the Class Teacher and once asked the class why my grades were deteriorating. Classmates for whom I used to draw pictures confessed openly that it was because I spent more time on Art than reading…That was the beginning of my aggressive focus on books…
Miss Ganda (Primary Four 1993): Very sexy Science teacher, a hottie like Emily – my Number One Campus Galfi and Mariam Were – the classmate who was the Beauty of my Dreams at that time; Miss Ganda liked my style; I remember drawing a skeleton and other images with all my heart during science class-work and subconsciously cementing my reputation as a promising artist…
(My Primary Five Art teacher was arguably the Most Beautiful I have ever had 1994): brown, fleshy and wonderfully good-looking… I loved doing her English tests too. She would borrow an Indian named Raju’s metallic ruler and hit the heads of noisy pupils or those who failed her home work. Didn’t involve us so much in Art but had a good taste for artistic things…
Pajero (My Primary Six Class Teacher before I left Victoria Nile Primary School 1995) was a very entertaining fellow; Used to call his ‘Hero’ bicycle a Pajero and also taught Science like Mr. Bamwamye. Science tests in the mid 90s used to amuse me because if they asked a question whose answer I did not know, I would just answer with any powerful idea or name I had read in any American Science encyclopedia or text book thinking the teacher would bow down for me and mark it correct; talk of Albert Einstein discovering the vaccine for small pox. You are wrong, Edward. Those were the days… Pajero would just give us an Art topic to work on and go away…
Miss Kibone (Primary Six Class Teacher 1995): she taught craft making and English; I was kind of her pet according to classmates - As class monitor at Kalinabiri Primary School [I wonder why they chose me so fast even when I had not completed a term there], I did so many things to make sure the class was running smoothly… I did not do any Art in Primary Seven because it was not examined during PLE. Meanwhile, Miss Kibone assured the pupils after us that I would write like a computer…
Mr. Godfrey Lutaaya (Senior One – Four 1997-2000): I think this was the best and realest Art Teacher in my life (You know what ‘am sayin’?) because he specialised in teaching the Profession unlike the ladies and gentlemen before him; He not only exposed us to masterpieces by old students before us but also took us on Art Tours to Grand Imperial Hotel and Michaelangelo School of Creative Arts just nearby in Kisubi…Taught me how not to fear painting and so many other professional Art techniques besides supplying powder paints, art pencils and brushes to my exclusive Art Class after Senior Three at SMACK. No wonder while at Macos, I often saw him at Makerere University probably for more Art or Education studies…
Mr. Kikolokomba (Senior Five 2001): My very last Art teacher before campus; I studied in his class for the first 3 weeks when I was a day scholar at Macos and struck out because my academic marks where too low considering the effort and spirit I put into my work. To continue building on my Art Dreams though, I willingly took on projects commissioned by students and teachers…Later after campus, I met Mr. Kiko at the National theatre while starting a backdrop painting for KADS and he gave me tips on what to do. Actually encouraged me that I could make it…
Mrs Achere, R.I.P. (Primary One 1990): fat; caring; met me again in 1991 while visiting my eldest sister Gladys alongside my family at Tororo Girls School. She also had a daughter there. Taught simple drawings plus English Language… I was Third Overall in Second Term and First Overall among 2 other male classmates before joining Primary Two; I heard that she died of cancer, GOD bless her soul…
Miss Nabirye (Primary Three 1992): a Musoga with Somali features; brown; tall; quite slender but looked very strong… Was the Class Teacher and once asked the class why my grades were deteriorating. Classmates for whom I used to draw pictures confessed openly that it was because I spent more time on Art than reading…That was the beginning of my aggressive focus on books…
Miss Ganda (Primary Four 1993): Very sexy Science teacher, a hottie like Emily – my Number One Campus Galfi and Mariam Were – the classmate who was the Beauty of my Dreams at that time; Miss Ganda liked my style; I remember drawing a skeleton and other images with all my heart during science class-work and subconsciously cementing my reputation as a promising artist…
(My Primary Five Art teacher was arguably the Most Beautiful I have ever had 1994): brown, fleshy and wonderfully good-looking… I loved doing her English tests too. She would borrow an Indian named Raju’s metallic ruler and hit the heads of noisy pupils or those who failed her home work. Didn’t involve us so much in Art but had a good taste for artistic things…
Pajero (My Primary Six Class Teacher before I left Victoria Nile Primary School 1995) was a very entertaining fellow; Used to call his ‘Hero’ bicycle a Pajero and also taught Science like Mr. Bamwamye. Science tests in the mid 90s used to amuse me because if they asked a question whose answer I did not know, I would just answer with any powerful idea or name I had read in any American Science encyclopedia or text book thinking the teacher would bow down for me and mark it correct; talk of Albert Einstein discovering the vaccine for small pox. You are wrong, Edward. Those were the days… Pajero would just give us an Art topic to work on and go away…
Miss Kibone (Primary Six Class Teacher 1995): she taught craft making and English; I was kind of her pet according to classmates - As class monitor at Kalinabiri Primary School [I wonder why they chose me so fast even when I had not completed a term there], I did so many things to make sure the class was running smoothly… I did not do any Art in Primary Seven because it was not examined during PLE. Meanwhile, Miss Kibone assured the pupils after us that I would write like a computer…
Mr. Godfrey Lutaaya (Senior One – Four 1997-2000): I think this was the best and realest Art Teacher in my life (You know what ‘am sayin’?) because he specialised in teaching the Profession unlike the ladies and gentlemen before him; He not only exposed us to masterpieces by old students before us but also took us on Art Tours to Grand Imperial Hotel and Michaelangelo School of Creative Arts just nearby in Kisubi…Taught me how not to fear painting and so many other professional Art techniques besides supplying powder paints, art pencils and brushes to my exclusive Art Class after Senior Three at SMACK. No wonder while at Macos, I often saw him at Makerere University probably for more Art or Education studies…
Mr. Kikolokomba (Senior Five 2001): My very last Art teacher before campus; I studied in his class for the first 3 weeks when I was a day scholar at Macos and struck out because my academic marks where too low considering the effort and spirit I put into my work. To continue building on my Art Dreams though, I willingly took on projects commissioned by students and teachers…Later after campus, I met Mr. Kiko at the National theatre while starting a backdrop painting for KADS and he gave me tips on what to do. Actually encouraged me that I could make it…
Money is not everything!
During the 5th annual Amakula Kampala Film Festival in May 2008, Black South African Vincent Moloi made a film about Leonard Johnson, a white homeless drug addict begging on the street in post-Apartheid Johannesburg. Leonard (not real name as Moloi later found out) had an ancestry of famous high class relatives from Europe. However, after ‘uneducated Blacks’ took over in 1994 as he complained, everything went down hill for him. The laid back white said his begging is not while sitted but just above the pavement while standing so he was not doing badly. Sometimes Leonard and his homeless friend would try to sell jewelry. Actually, he had a bed to sleep on and some of the gifts from generous passers-by he would use to pay rent. One day, a young woman who worked in a bank ran up to him and gave him some money because she had just been paid. How uplifting is that? His wise words are, “A man may have everything and still commit suicide…Why? It is because of his way of thinking.” Everybody came into this world to endure pain. If you want to live in it, you have to smile no matter your status. That is one thing I learnt from the meaning of my own Lugbara surname “Ayiko bua”; ‘true joy or happiness can only be found in heaven’…Here it is just “kiwani” (unreal or fake), but it has to be there for us to survive for a moment… That is why some people create their own dreamlands and others enjoy them as paintings or movies which relieve them from depression.
Sports TV
Thank GOD Ugandans will cease to feel bored after the English Premiership hibernates every May to August. For 24 hours and 7 days a week, we will be able to watch live and recorded classic sports events from seasons gone by. Affiliated to Setanta Network from the UK for the next 10 years, the Sports TV broadcaster will surely take me down memory lane to the times during my childhood when watching telly was better than eating food. No wonder I became a skinny idiot but I don’t give a damn. It’s in the Game!
If you don’t know the directions, ask and you won’t get lost…Ask me why I say so! I had always seen an overhead sign reading ‘Sabrinas’ opposite Kampala Pentecostal Church but never bothered to find out if that was the hyped red light pub (among my peers) second to the media hyped ‘Capital Pub’ in Kabalagala. It just did not look like a pub to me. So when the inter-school hip hop competition was slated for some laid back Saturday in 2007, I boarded a taxi heading to Bwaise and Kawempe since I knew that was where Bombo Road extended not knowing that this other Sabrinas I used to look down on was actually at the point Bombo Road joins Kampala Road or Ben Kiwanuka, whatever. Hoping to find Sabrinas Pub in Bwaise, I asked the conductor to alert me when we reached but got shocked to hear from his dazed countenance that I had left it in the city. In order not to appear lost, I just took the ride beyond the Northern By-Pass and disembarked near a Kawempe Market. Of course, I had to spend double coming back to the city but I took it as a lesson learned. Ask when you don’t know; the same applies in academics and spiritual matters…
If you don’t know the directions, ask and you won’t get lost…Ask me why I say so! I had always seen an overhead sign reading ‘Sabrinas’ opposite Kampala Pentecostal Church but never bothered to find out if that was the hyped red light pub (among my peers) second to the media hyped ‘Capital Pub’ in Kabalagala. It just did not look like a pub to me. So when the inter-school hip hop competition was slated for some laid back Saturday in 2007, I boarded a taxi heading to Bwaise and Kawempe since I knew that was where Bombo Road extended not knowing that this other Sabrinas I used to look down on was actually at the point Bombo Road joins Kampala Road or Ben Kiwanuka, whatever. Hoping to find Sabrinas Pub in Bwaise, I asked the conductor to alert me when we reached but got shocked to hear from his dazed countenance that I had left it in the city. In order not to appear lost, I just took the ride beyond the Northern By-Pass and disembarked near a Kawempe Market. Of course, I had to spend double coming back to the city but I took it as a lesson learned. Ask when you don’t know; the same applies in academics and spiritual matters…
Tina Davis’ Workshop (& the Last ‘Queen’ of Scotland)
I love pleasant surprises. Sometime in April 2008, I saw a banner advertising iVad Productions outside the National Theatre’s Green Room. I had always fancied their film productions so I walked in. Curiosity killed the cat (but revived the dog). I’m not a cat, for heaven’s sake, so as a good dog I got the bone I deserved. The Uganda Arts and Media Academy (UAMA) were organizing a Documentary Workshop during the Europe-Uganda fortnight to develop skills among Ugandan or East African filmmakers. Present were various dudes and some Swahili-mumbling babes like Zippy the first I uttered a word to [who probably came from the Coast of East Africa]. At the start of the workshop, Sade, a Nigerian who works for iVAD alongside the big Caroline Kamya (Everybody loves Carol) taught the gathered pack a discipline game whereby the members of the circle would throw balls at another person straight in front of them while mentioning the name of the recipient and looking into their eyes. After the introductions, everybody was expected to remember several names for a target pitch in order not to look a bum. Luckily for me, I could remember Sara, diagonally on my right. We had been told not to throw on the side but I had no other option. She even asked me later during the tea break if I am related to the famous Akii Bua. Does that mean I have to change the Aiko? No way or let me say Norway where Tina comes from (Pun intended)! Tina was the main speaker at the workshop. I wonder whether this ball-throwing game has some kind of social magic in it because the person whose name you call somehow becomes more interested in you most especially when you have never met before. I told Sara ‘No’ about my relationship to the Olympic Star but added to her fulfilled amazement that Ceasar Okhuti, the Uganda Cranes footballer is my brother…We are both Lugbara so that makes him my brother-by-tribe. See, Kiwani with truth in it…!
[Anyway, the truth is that the one Ugandan Sports personality I’m related to, without a doubt, is neither David nor Denis Obua but former Cranes Coach Leo Adraa. My dad is his uncle because he got married to ‘Dede’, my dad’s niece, also Tom W.’s sister. My dad even used to work with Tom at Nile Bank, my personal bank, in the 90s before leaving at the turn of the new millennium and star Leo Adraa is the only link I’m sure about]
Earlier I had mentioned my name and introduced myself as a cartoonist and writer who wanted to develop a few skills in documentary making so as to make a film about my ancestral culture which did not feature much in the mainstream media. Thinking that no one would probably remember my name, I was stunned when Peggy dressed in gorgeous hip-hugging blue jeans threw the ball at me and beautifully called out “Edward”. I concentrated and later tried to converse with her by asking if Dan Brown was her Favourite Author (She was holding the ‘Angels and Demons’ novel) and she replied that she reads anyone. So I suggested she read my blogsite. I shared the Norwegian Chocolate (Tina brought for different random pairs) and later honored her request by picking a mineral water bottle for her from the table behind. She probably felt I was itching to impress her; just maybe. Nevertheless overall, she was not the best person I could shoot a breeze with because she showed a glimpse of a certain attitude I do not fancy in human beings (I won’t mention it or else I will be arrested by the police in the spiritual realm). Anyway, after Tina Davis the Norwegian speaker at the workshop, Barbra came top among my conversation interests. She introduced herself as the girl who played the role of a prostitute or whore (She ain’t a bitch, haters) in the Oscar-Award winning movie “The Last King of Scotland”. She was to me the Last ‘Queen’ of Scotland. It’s not that I got attracted to her face or anything (Of course she looked a’ight), but I liked the composed and suave way she approached me in her green blouse and khaki pants while I prepared to serve myself some milk tea, gonja, sumbusa and sausage. We shook hands that stayed locked for a few minutes and talked about ourselves, movies and things like that. She had enchanted me somehow, probably skills she was taught in the build up to her role in the Hollywood movie. We went for breakfast together and later talked during lunch before I disappeared when a male friend of hers showed up. I didn’t return for the final afternoon session that featured Tina’s second production but watched other movies in the auditorium (organized by the Uganda German Cultural Society who had alerted me about the multi-cultural festival in an email. I had missed their morning workshop but no regrets whatsoever)
“Bringing Excellence to creativity” – iVAD Motto
Tina Davis, from Norway is hugely talented. Where she comes from, “the land of the Midnight Sun only gets dark for ten minutes in Tromso, Norway”…I’m glad that I once studied in a Norwegian founded school (Kalinabiri Primary School, Ntinda 1995-6 and was in the pink-red Norwegian House). Tina took Media Education in London and graduated in 1996, the same year I did my PLE (Primary Leaving Examinations) at Kalinabiri [Luganda for “He who has two eyes must see beyond”]. She has been working on documentaries and taught a little bit in a Cuban Film School.
Basic theory: the Definition of a Documentary has stretched with time. Central spirit is exploration of actual people and situations. Actors can be used to recreate past and present events. It is Created Treatment of Actuality: Travel, Nature, Science, Industrial, Educational, Promotional e.g. a docu’ in a Soap-Making industry. Socially Critical, uncovers dimensions. It goes more into moral and ethical dimensions. Go into a familiar place to reveal the unfamiliar…Tell stories about anything but take it and tell what’s not known. Look at it from different angles e.g. boda boda cyclists being harassed by women. Prostitutes exchange sex for free rides. Corner of reality seen through human temperament, convictions, conscience and ideology guide you. Persuade viewers into your world. It’s an organized story, narrative tension and integrated point of view”.
[“Artists write; it is the function of all art to give us perception of an order in life by imposing an order on it.” –T.S. Eliot]
Order gives us a perception of life. Controlled, Obstentious, Speechless, Lyrical [no limits to possibilities], profound fascination/ Passion and General Interest
Actuality [Objective, measurable and can be agreed] vs. Realism
TV networks want docu’s about what is seen and proved, afraid of lawsuits/ corporate journalism
Takes you beyond objective notions… Try to present the inner lives of those we film, internal dimensions-dreams, nightmares part of actuality. If you are a writer, sometimes you include yourself. Factual TV balances out opposing views. Unbiasesd views on events, journalism. “I showed all three sides so I’m not responsible for social criticism.”
Subjectivity shows effective use. Art for representation of your subject
Realism is the way you bring actuality to another level. Motivation for producing a docu-drama will impact the people e.g. a docu-drama of the horrible Hiroshima event (bombing). Makes it powerful…Do you shoot a documentary and leave room for viewers to interpret? Sometimes people do not need spoon feeding, you can have sub themes.
Six Basic points during Tina’s Workshop
1. Instinct/ Attraction (Greatest Personal Tool. Unfortunately we sometimes make our Intellect come in the way. Face the opinions, Trust your instincts, Instinct guides you through the process)
2. Aim of the documentary (Why do you want to make this film?) Write; record your thoughts and ideas. Push yourself to be able to achieve the aim…
3. Structure the story (Shooting Script, How you organize your material. If you sit down and create awareness within you, it moves you closer to the core of your film…makes it clear to you. Director’s Notes, Synopsis for the funders…Make choices. Home Videos and Professionals are different
4. Style (Observational)
5. Techniques can be still photos, private material, Montash, Goes hand in hand with style. You can use imagery
6. Character (Identify a strong character as a subject to tell a story; reveal info about your interest). Must be sb who is not an exhibitionist (A show off becomes annoying in the process). Someone who wants to be portrayed…Build trust and get to know your subjects
Fall in love with your character, Connect your audience to your characters. Superficial truths separate us but fundamentals or universal elements can be reflected by others. The better you know a person, the deeper you can portray her Quirks. The more you know about your character, the better access…to all the secrets. We had breakfast and then watched Tina’s documentary.
“BIGGER Than Barbie”
A documentary about a project for women in RSA (Republic of South Africa) where they make beaded dolls. Tina Davis was in Norway visiting a friend when she got mesmerized by colourful quirky dolls. Three months later, Tina saw these dolls in a London shop. She got a number of dolls and went to teach in Cuba. Tina was called back to pay because her credit card didn’t go through. The shop owner told her the story of the dolls: It was an Empowerment Project for women started by 3 artists to create income…The film shows different stories in Africa.
“Make films for educating the TV networks here…I like the choice of music, a Reggae classic by Bob Marley ‘Waste of Time’; it highlights the fundamental truth that the world or life is a beautiful struggle…,”said Tina (This is exactly what I have been trying to preach through my ‘Arua Boys’ stories)
“Live with your heart & appreciation,” this line was spoken at the Monkeybiz HIV Clinic. Mankozi was an invaluable member of the bead community and went to New York where their dolls were selling well at the ABC Store.
Film REVIEW (from the lecture by Tina Davis)
1. Impressed by the community; Humbled/ Learnt the township philosophy in action: Create work that suits the delights of the women not take them to a factory. They should work whenever they want and could. Tina wanted to make an inspiring story for people to follow their dreams
2. The Aim was to make a positive documentary: “Wherever there are people, there is hope. Everybody has potential. Sometimes you need help but it is a matter of getting that potential out…” –Tina
3. This film happened as a result of so many uncontrollable elements…Fragmented funding system (Government body gives a sum, One Big Lesson: “I will never again start until I have a film about a subject on the other side of the world. 90 hours of footage, 4 months…It’s difficult to convey your vision to the subjects in the documentary who may get tired because it may not mean much…”I Could have made many stories from this film…Could have told the story through Mankozi, the lady in Monkeybiz who had HIV…” The film is a portrait of Monkeybiz and all their aspects. If you choose a closed off environment, you do yourself a big favour. If you are not flexible, you will feel your plans are going down the drain…
4. Wanted to make an observational film but because of the language and camera pointing at other places, it was heart-wreaking for Tina. Wanted the subject to come out through the scenes and not Voice Overs. Make sure you have intos to back up your story even if you never intend to use them. Writing edits are very important, rather than polishing each scene before you move to the next
5. Using the reportage at the start from ABC TV was not my plan. A news-crew turned up to do the story. The doll shots were also a technique. Wanted to use animation to show that the dolls are moving or expanding. This would highlight the essence of Monkeybiz. It was meant to be playful and hearty, an interesting touch…A couple of montage sequences in the film (a lot of women making those dolls in their homes). The music too! It creates moods and atmosphere. Finding a rhythm is important. People should not be hang up by the information that is less… [Spent one year getting a license for the soundtrack from Damian Marley… “Make sure you have contracts when dealing with music…Another thing I had to license is the concert and Live Mandela feed…”
6. You can organize but not stage a documentary. “I like to work more spontaneously; that’s more interesting…” Tina revealed…
[Anyway, the truth is that the one Ugandan Sports personality I’m related to, without a doubt, is neither David nor Denis Obua but former Cranes Coach Leo Adraa. My dad is his uncle because he got married to ‘Dede’, my dad’s niece, also Tom W.’s sister. My dad even used to work with Tom at Nile Bank, my personal bank, in the 90s before leaving at the turn of the new millennium and star Leo Adraa is the only link I’m sure about]
Earlier I had mentioned my name and introduced myself as a cartoonist and writer who wanted to develop a few skills in documentary making so as to make a film about my ancestral culture which did not feature much in the mainstream media. Thinking that no one would probably remember my name, I was stunned when Peggy dressed in gorgeous hip-hugging blue jeans threw the ball at me and beautifully called out “Edward”. I concentrated and later tried to converse with her by asking if Dan Brown was her Favourite Author (She was holding the ‘Angels and Demons’ novel) and she replied that she reads anyone. So I suggested she read my blogsite. I shared the Norwegian Chocolate (Tina brought for different random pairs) and later honored her request by picking a mineral water bottle for her from the table behind. She probably felt I was itching to impress her; just maybe. Nevertheless overall, she was not the best person I could shoot a breeze with because she showed a glimpse of a certain attitude I do not fancy in human beings (I won’t mention it or else I will be arrested by the police in the spiritual realm). Anyway, after Tina Davis the Norwegian speaker at the workshop, Barbra came top among my conversation interests. She introduced herself as the girl who played the role of a prostitute or whore (She ain’t a bitch, haters) in the Oscar-Award winning movie “The Last King of Scotland”. She was to me the Last ‘Queen’ of Scotland. It’s not that I got attracted to her face or anything (Of course she looked a’ight), but I liked the composed and suave way she approached me in her green blouse and khaki pants while I prepared to serve myself some milk tea, gonja, sumbusa and sausage. We shook hands that stayed locked for a few minutes and talked about ourselves, movies and things like that. She had enchanted me somehow, probably skills she was taught in the build up to her role in the Hollywood movie. We went for breakfast together and later talked during lunch before I disappeared when a male friend of hers showed up. I didn’t return for the final afternoon session that featured Tina’s second production but watched other movies in the auditorium (organized by the Uganda German Cultural Society who had alerted me about the multi-cultural festival in an email. I had missed their morning workshop but no regrets whatsoever)
“Bringing Excellence to creativity” – iVAD Motto
Tina Davis, from Norway is hugely talented. Where she comes from, “the land of the Midnight Sun only gets dark for ten minutes in Tromso, Norway”…I’m glad that I once studied in a Norwegian founded school (Kalinabiri Primary School, Ntinda 1995-6 and was in the pink-red Norwegian House). Tina took Media Education in London and graduated in 1996, the same year I did my PLE (Primary Leaving Examinations) at Kalinabiri [Luganda for “He who has two eyes must see beyond”]. She has been working on documentaries and taught a little bit in a Cuban Film School.
Basic theory: the Definition of a Documentary has stretched with time. Central spirit is exploration of actual people and situations. Actors can be used to recreate past and present events. It is Created Treatment of Actuality: Travel, Nature, Science, Industrial, Educational, Promotional e.g. a docu’ in a Soap-Making industry. Socially Critical, uncovers dimensions. It goes more into moral and ethical dimensions. Go into a familiar place to reveal the unfamiliar…Tell stories about anything but take it and tell what’s not known. Look at it from different angles e.g. boda boda cyclists being harassed by women. Prostitutes exchange sex for free rides. Corner of reality seen through human temperament, convictions, conscience and ideology guide you. Persuade viewers into your world. It’s an organized story, narrative tension and integrated point of view”.
[“Artists write; it is the function of all art to give us perception of an order in life by imposing an order on it.” –T.S. Eliot]
Order gives us a perception of life. Controlled, Obstentious, Speechless, Lyrical [no limits to possibilities], profound fascination/ Passion and General Interest
Actuality [Objective, measurable and can be agreed] vs. Realism
TV networks want docu’s about what is seen and proved, afraid of lawsuits/ corporate journalism
Takes you beyond objective notions… Try to present the inner lives of those we film, internal dimensions-dreams, nightmares part of actuality. If you are a writer, sometimes you include yourself. Factual TV balances out opposing views. Unbiasesd views on events, journalism. “I showed all three sides so I’m not responsible for social criticism.”
Subjectivity shows effective use. Art for representation of your subject
Realism is the way you bring actuality to another level. Motivation for producing a docu-drama will impact the people e.g. a docu-drama of the horrible Hiroshima event (bombing). Makes it powerful…Do you shoot a documentary and leave room for viewers to interpret? Sometimes people do not need spoon feeding, you can have sub themes.
Six Basic points during Tina’s Workshop
1. Instinct/ Attraction (Greatest Personal Tool. Unfortunately we sometimes make our Intellect come in the way. Face the opinions, Trust your instincts, Instinct guides you through the process)
2. Aim of the documentary (Why do you want to make this film?) Write; record your thoughts and ideas. Push yourself to be able to achieve the aim…
3. Structure the story (Shooting Script, How you organize your material. If you sit down and create awareness within you, it moves you closer to the core of your film…makes it clear to you. Director’s Notes, Synopsis for the funders…Make choices. Home Videos and Professionals are different
4. Style (Observational)
5. Techniques can be still photos, private material, Montash, Goes hand in hand with style. You can use imagery
6. Character (Identify a strong character as a subject to tell a story; reveal info about your interest). Must be sb who is not an exhibitionist (A show off becomes annoying in the process). Someone who wants to be portrayed…Build trust and get to know your subjects
Fall in love with your character, Connect your audience to your characters. Superficial truths separate us but fundamentals or universal elements can be reflected by others. The better you know a person, the deeper you can portray her Quirks. The more you know about your character, the better access…to all the secrets. We had breakfast and then watched Tina’s documentary.
“BIGGER Than Barbie”
A documentary about a project for women in RSA (Republic of South Africa) where they make beaded dolls. Tina Davis was in Norway visiting a friend when she got mesmerized by colourful quirky dolls. Three months later, Tina saw these dolls in a London shop. She got a number of dolls and went to teach in Cuba. Tina was called back to pay because her credit card didn’t go through. The shop owner told her the story of the dolls: It was an Empowerment Project for women started by 3 artists to create income…The film shows different stories in Africa.
“Make films for educating the TV networks here…I like the choice of music, a Reggae classic by Bob Marley ‘Waste of Time’; it highlights the fundamental truth that the world or life is a beautiful struggle…,”said Tina (This is exactly what I have been trying to preach through my ‘Arua Boys’ stories)
“Live with your heart & appreciation,” this line was spoken at the Monkeybiz HIV Clinic. Mankozi was an invaluable member of the bead community and went to New York where their dolls were selling well at the ABC Store.
Film REVIEW (from the lecture by Tina Davis)
1. Impressed by the community; Humbled/ Learnt the township philosophy in action: Create work that suits the delights of the women not take them to a factory. They should work whenever they want and could. Tina wanted to make an inspiring story for people to follow their dreams
2. The Aim was to make a positive documentary: “Wherever there are people, there is hope. Everybody has potential. Sometimes you need help but it is a matter of getting that potential out…” –Tina
3. This film happened as a result of so many uncontrollable elements…Fragmented funding system (Government body gives a sum, One Big Lesson: “I will never again start until I have a film about a subject on the other side of the world. 90 hours of footage, 4 months…It’s difficult to convey your vision to the subjects in the documentary who may get tired because it may not mean much…”I Could have made many stories from this film…Could have told the story through Mankozi, the lady in Monkeybiz who had HIV…” The film is a portrait of Monkeybiz and all their aspects. If you choose a closed off environment, you do yourself a big favour. If you are not flexible, you will feel your plans are going down the drain…
4. Wanted to make an observational film but because of the language and camera pointing at other places, it was heart-wreaking for Tina. Wanted the subject to come out through the scenes and not Voice Overs. Make sure you have intos to back up your story even if you never intend to use them. Writing edits are very important, rather than polishing each scene before you move to the next
5. Using the reportage at the start from ABC TV was not my plan. A news-crew turned up to do the story. The doll shots were also a technique. Wanted to use animation to show that the dolls are moving or expanding. This would highlight the essence of Monkeybiz. It was meant to be playful and hearty, an interesting touch…A couple of montage sequences in the film (a lot of women making those dolls in their homes). The music too! It creates moods and atmosphere. Finding a rhythm is important. People should not be hang up by the information that is less… [Spent one year getting a license for the soundtrack from Damian Marley… “Make sure you have contracts when dealing with music…Another thing I had to license is the concert and Live Mandela feed…”
6. You can organize but not stage a documentary. “I like to work more spontaneously; that’s more interesting…” Tina revealed…
From Father to Son...
Below are some of my Dad’s thoughts he wanted shared in the newspaper media. He sent them to Crusader and New Vision in 1998 but said they were probably never published. Ask Capital FM’s Saturday Night Fever Deejay Alex Ndawula about his book “Talking about Talking” and he might tell you more exhilarating stuff about the wit of the man who used to stay near his wife Drucilla (Magezi)’s crib in the late 1980s (Jinja).
“Many Ugandans do not care for each other”
Why is there poverty among the people when Uganda has plenty of riches? Why are there street children and beggars? Why are the towns dirty? The answers to these and other bad situations lie in the lack of care for each other. Our leaders in government and other bodies start it all with corruption and embezzlements. Where services would be provided to improve on the conditions for the population, funds are stolen. The people working in such places go without pay or are retrenched without adequate package.
These stolen funds are used to acquire houses, wives, cars, etc. It is not surprising to see a family of four having six cars, not even business vehicles that could employ some other people. Ministers, Managing Directors, Permanent Secretaries and other big men and women employ fellow Ugandans as electricians, masons, carpenters, painters etc to do work for them while putting up mansions with the stolen money but they do not pay such. They bully them and the small men coil away in their poverty. The big men prefer to go to relax in hotels within and without the country instead of paying the poor workers who would help other dependants. First of all, they have deprived people of salary in one organisation and they do it again in their own set-up. This is malicious. Businessmen are deprived of payment for services and goods supplied to government in good time and this slows down business. Other parastatal bodies providing services to government are also not paid, thus resulting in poor services to the public, delay in salary payments, retrenchments and other evils which perpetuate the vicious circle.
Our leaders live in mansions on two acre lands maintained on public funds, which are obtained by taxing poor workers all their small earnings. If we really cared for each other, we would not need to beg from abroad through organizations like Africa Foundation, Save the Children, Feed the Children, Uganda Forster Parent Plan, Children Welfare Mission, etc to provide these services. The likes of Sanyu Babies Home, UWESO etc would be financed by citizens who have. Have we ever known how these funds which come from abroad are obtained? Some of these are individual savings donated for a cause for humanity all over the world. Ugandans would prefer to burn old clothes instead of donating to a charitable organisation like UWESO. They prefer to sit at joints draining half a million shillings every evening or acquiring more women to have more children some of whom end up in the streets causing more problems. Food is poured into pits and bins instead of being given to the destitute.
Some people own chunks of land but would not allow people to cultivate it for food badly needed by many. [Bringing that idea forward to 10 years later from when this article was written by my father: On Monday 19th May 2008 while being interviewed by WBS TV’s Daniel Arap Moi (Face to Face: “Say it as it is”), Issa Sekitto, the Spokesperson of KACITA said in order for government to solve Uganda’s problem of rising food prices, each household should have a farm where they cultivate…]
People instead crowd in town shacks on metre pieces of land. When a good planner suggests a document to allow many people own land, landlords go mourning. They incite non suspecting oppressed occupants into believing that the law is bad. Who do you think benefits from the 9000 square miles of land? Is it not the ministers who would be allocated that land and continue to oppress the occupants for whom they do not care?
The small people have also got their share of not caring for each other. They throw rubbish anywhere anytime claiming that someone is earning by cleaning. Why don’t you use the rubbish bins and save someone time to do other things? People even throw rubbish on staircases, on some people’s compounds and on public paths. What do you think of others who use these areas? Just walk into flats like Bugolobi, Buganda Road and others and find what I mean. Places like Universal House on Luwum Street, City House and others should not even hold offices, as they are smelly with urine and faeces on the corridors. Ugandans are careless. Do we need experts to advise on hygiene? If we say Kisenyi, and Kamwokya lack facilities to collect rubbish, how about the other places mentioned above. You just see a well dressed person walking across the street eating sweets or biscuits; or smoking and all of a sudden he throws down the wrapper when a well painted city council bin is in front of him. In the villages, it is even a crime to keep the surroundings of your home clean. All plastic bags will be thrown under your fence or on your path. You either continue to pick them up or get annoyed or leave them but then cholera will not spare you. People do not need your music so why blast it out? Fellow Ugandans, who read these comments, please change for the better.
(The manuscript from which I copied this data was produced by John Galia, a friend to my dad from Tara, Maracha? on 29th September 1998)
“Christianity and the Changing World”
In the early times when Christianity was introduced in this country, the leaders were mostly whites from various European countries.
One was taught to read, write and accept the teachings to become a Christian. It was a conversion from old beliefs to new ones. Once a Christian, one was a new person but equal to his teachers apart from the teachers being more learned. Everyone was a Christian, full stop. There were no issues of some being more Christian than others and the teachers showed no sign of that.
Those of us who accepted Christianity then knew that certain behaviours were to be avoided and once one did that one was a good Christian. All sorts of dancing were not acceptable nor were some instruments allowed. Shouting and yelling was un-Christian.
As time passed by, things did not remain as before. Many indigenous people became learned and read so many books. More foreigners came into the country with their different cultures. These cultures have taken root in Christianity. The same Bible is still being read and the same hymns being sung with modifications to suit the situation. The Bible tells us that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and does not change. That being the case, why the changes in the way we praise him? The very items refused in the past like dancing, shouting and yelling are now acceptable by various groups. Youth can no longer go to ‘dull’ churches because they enjoy music more than anything else. And the dancing! Is there a difference between such dancing and that of Pepe Kale, Lucky Dube and others? Even when the word GOD is used in hymns, so it is in the other songs.
Are we on the right track in our religion? In the past, religion united people as one family. In one church, there were no divisions between family members, couples and all the Christians. Nowadays you will hear such things like saved people, converts, and people with or without the Holy Spirit in them. I was in my local church one time for a meeting and there was so much division there that attendance in the church was dwindling. The reason was that some people considered without Holy Spirit in them were not allowed to participate in leading service. The qualification to have the Holy Spirit was to declare that one was saved. You can hear children talking of daddy or mummy’s church. They do not pray together with their parents except at nursery age. They do exactly opposite of what the parents do or teach.
If we are following the unchanging GOD and our beliefs are based on the Bible which is what was left by eyewitnesses of GOD’s work on earth in the past as we believe, how come we change the teachings of the Bible by change of terminologies, phrases, and our own judgement? Are we saying that the early teachers of the Bible were not knowledgeable about the Bible? We nevere refused preachers, lay readers to have Holy Communion even when they were not wedded in church. In 1950s and 60s, most of those leading in church were not church wedded. Does this mean that the teaching then was fake? It was a necessity for one to accept Christianity on his own accord but babies are now made Christians and many of these divert after coming of age.
We have seen that the way people tend to conduct Christianity has made Christianity a dividing doctrine rather than what the teachings were meant to do. Christianity is one, that is the doctrine concerning Christ. The way the world is changing has made people also change methods of worship. People’s behaviours have changed and Christianity teachers are bending to those changes also. They consider the old methods archaic. But is that correct?
Saved people believe that there is no better Christian than one who has declared that he/she is saved. The Bible teaches us that no one is saved except by the Grace of GOD. So how can one really say or know one has a place in heaven? Is it the public announcement declaring your sins or is it what you do in your life according to the teaching of the Bible which saves you? GOD sees in secret so must we open to anybody other than GOD? How sinless are the people one declares to? These issues are really controversial and when one brings them up like this, it is considered as devil’s work.
There have been so many reasons why people have done things in their lives including having church affairs. One may want to achieve something by being in a certain group and if the best way is by doing something acceptable to that group, one will do it without believing in it. I mean here for example, I may declare that I am saved because I want the favour of a priest or some other person for a scholarship, job, etc. you will notice that the moment one achieves the goal, he or she may drop the belief. Many ‘missionaries’ have come for other purposes but under the guise of strong Christian beliefs or being born again. As the world has become so diverse with issues, being a member of a certain group may give one a consolation from world’s problems and Christianity is good at achieving that.
Some Christian groups think theirs is the best belief. Someone told me recently that if I want to get the true GOD, I should join Pentecostal Churches. Isn’t this a division in Christianity? Others believe in healing power without medicine and have caused deaths by denying people medical attention. Are these any different from traditional healers who consult spirits? Even the traditional healers are wiser in that they still give herbs which cure and not the spirit power alone. I think GOD has given us the world and all the good things to use and one good gift is to sustain life with the help of medicine. All the faculties of seeing, thinking, deciding are given to us to help ourselves. The saying is that GOD helps those who help themselves. You are given eyes to see both good and bad things and on seeing danger, other faculties allow you to escape. Teachers of some Christian groups will feel they have succeeded in preaching if they convert people. They do not realize that by so doing they are bringing divisions. As I mentioned at the beginning, becoming a Christian is a conversion already and the constant teachings delivered should make one judge oneself and inwardly change for better. What use is it to declare your sins and out of church, you commit the same again: Backbiting, anger, quarrelling, jealousy, name it and you have not changed?
Can a Christian really overcome the problems of life in this changing world and particularly in urban areas? To me the answer is “No”. This is a sincere and life experience answer. Take your family which should be your first contact. You cannot convince all your children to follow your beliefs. If you fail that, can you convert all the others? You will always face resistance in your attempt to reach others. Come to money problems. Much as you would not like to be indebted, you will be forced to. You even become selfish. Just imagine, the only way you can have food is with money and you only have enough to care for your immediate family. I do not think you will give it away to feed someone else. You become unsociable because you do not have the money to travel or contribute for functions. Segregation is common, either due to differences in beliefs, clans, education, marital status, etc. you even notice at functions where Christian equality fails.
By James Dramani (1998)
“Many Ugandans do not care for each other”
Why is there poverty among the people when Uganda has plenty of riches? Why are there street children and beggars? Why are the towns dirty? The answers to these and other bad situations lie in the lack of care for each other. Our leaders in government and other bodies start it all with corruption and embezzlements. Where services would be provided to improve on the conditions for the population, funds are stolen. The people working in such places go without pay or are retrenched without adequate package.
These stolen funds are used to acquire houses, wives, cars, etc. It is not surprising to see a family of four having six cars, not even business vehicles that could employ some other people. Ministers, Managing Directors, Permanent Secretaries and other big men and women employ fellow Ugandans as electricians, masons, carpenters, painters etc to do work for them while putting up mansions with the stolen money but they do not pay such. They bully them and the small men coil away in their poverty. The big men prefer to go to relax in hotels within and without the country instead of paying the poor workers who would help other dependants. First of all, they have deprived people of salary in one organisation and they do it again in their own set-up. This is malicious. Businessmen are deprived of payment for services and goods supplied to government in good time and this slows down business. Other parastatal bodies providing services to government are also not paid, thus resulting in poor services to the public, delay in salary payments, retrenchments and other evils which perpetuate the vicious circle.
Our leaders live in mansions on two acre lands maintained on public funds, which are obtained by taxing poor workers all their small earnings. If we really cared for each other, we would not need to beg from abroad through organizations like Africa Foundation, Save the Children, Feed the Children, Uganda Forster Parent Plan, Children Welfare Mission, etc to provide these services. The likes of Sanyu Babies Home, UWESO etc would be financed by citizens who have. Have we ever known how these funds which come from abroad are obtained? Some of these are individual savings donated for a cause for humanity all over the world. Ugandans would prefer to burn old clothes instead of donating to a charitable organisation like UWESO. They prefer to sit at joints draining half a million shillings every evening or acquiring more women to have more children some of whom end up in the streets causing more problems. Food is poured into pits and bins instead of being given to the destitute.
Some people own chunks of land but would not allow people to cultivate it for food badly needed by many. [Bringing that idea forward to 10 years later from when this article was written by my father: On Monday 19th May 2008 while being interviewed by WBS TV’s Daniel Arap Moi (Face to Face: “Say it as it is”), Issa Sekitto, the Spokesperson of KACITA said in order for government to solve Uganda’s problem of rising food prices, each household should have a farm where they cultivate…]
People instead crowd in town shacks on metre pieces of land. When a good planner suggests a document to allow many people own land, landlords go mourning. They incite non suspecting oppressed occupants into believing that the law is bad. Who do you think benefits from the 9000 square miles of land? Is it not the ministers who would be allocated that land and continue to oppress the occupants for whom they do not care?
The small people have also got their share of not caring for each other. They throw rubbish anywhere anytime claiming that someone is earning by cleaning. Why don’t you use the rubbish bins and save someone time to do other things? People even throw rubbish on staircases, on some people’s compounds and on public paths. What do you think of others who use these areas? Just walk into flats like Bugolobi, Buganda Road and others and find what I mean. Places like Universal House on Luwum Street, City House and others should not even hold offices, as they are smelly with urine and faeces on the corridors. Ugandans are careless. Do we need experts to advise on hygiene? If we say Kisenyi, and Kamwokya lack facilities to collect rubbish, how about the other places mentioned above. You just see a well dressed person walking across the street eating sweets or biscuits; or smoking and all of a sudden he throws down the wrapper when a well painted city council bin is in front of him. In the villages, it is even a crime to keep the surroundings of your home clean. All plastic bags will be thrown under your fence or on your path. You either continue to pick them up or get annoyed or leave them but then cholera will not spare you. People do not need your music so why blast it out? Fellow Ugandans, who read these comments, please change for the better.
(The manuscript from which I copied this data was produced by John Galia, a friend to my dad from Tara, Maracha? on 29th September 1998)
“Christianity and the Changing World”
In the early times when Christianity was introduced in this country, the leaders were mostly whites from various European countries.
One was taught to read, write and accept the teachings to become a Christian. It was a conversion from old beliefs to new ones. Once a Christian, one was a new person but equal to his teachers apart from the teachers being more learned. Everyone was a Christian, full stop. There were no issues of some being more Christian than others and the teachers showed no sign of that.
Those of us who accepted Christianity then knew that certain behaviours were to be avoided and once one did that one was a good Christian. All sorts of dancing were not acceptable nor were some instruments allowed. Shouting and yelling was un-Christian.
As time passed by, things did not remain as before. Many indigenous people became learned and read so many books. More foreigners came into the country with their different cultures. These cultures have taken root in Christianity. The same Bible is still being read and the same hymns being sung with modifications to suit the situation. The Bible tells us that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and does not change. That being the case, why the changes in the way we praise him? The very items refused in the past like dancing, shouting and yelling are now acceptable by various groups. Youth can no longer go to ‘dull’ churches because they enjoy music more than anything else. And the dancing! Is there a difference between such dancing and that of Pepe Kale, Lucky Dube and others? Even when the word GOD is used in hymns, so it is in the other songs.
Are we on the right track in our religion? In the past, religion united people as one family. In one church, there were no divisions between family members, couples and all the Christians. Nowadays you will hear such things like saved people, converts, and people with or without the Holy Spirit in them. I was in my local church one time for a meeting and there was so much division there that attendance in the church was dwindling. The reason was that some people considered without Holy Spirit in them were not allowed to participate in leading service. The qualification to have the Holy Spirit was to declare that one was saved. You can hear children talking of daddy or mummy’s church. They do not pray together with their parents except at nursery age. They do exactly opposite of what the parents do or teach.
If we are following the unchanging GOD and our beliefs are based on the Bible which is what was left by eyewitnesses of GOD’s work on earth in the past as we believe, how come we change the teachings of the Bible by change of terminologies, phrases, and our own judgement? Are we saying that the early teachers of the Bible were not knowledgeable about the Bible? We nevere refused preachers, lay readers to have Holy Communion even when they were not wedded in church. In 1950s and 60s, most of those leading in church were not church wedded. Does this mean that the teaching then was fake? It was a necessity for one to accept Christianity on his own accord but babies are now made Christians and many of these divert after coming of age.
We have seen that the way people tend to conduct Christianity has made Christianity a dividing doctrine rather than what the teachings were meant to do. Christianity is one, that is the doctrine concerning Christ. The way the world is changing has made people also change methods of worship. People’s behaviours have changed and Christianity teachers are bending to those changes also. They consider the old methods archaic. But is that correct?
Saved people believe that there is no better Christian than one who has declared that he/she is saved. The Bible teaches us that no one is saved except by the Grace of GOD. So how can one really say or know one has a place in heaven? Is it the public announcement declaring your sins or is it what you do in your life according to the teaching of the Bible which saves you? GOD sees in secret so must we open to anybody other than GOD? How sinless are the people one declares to? These issues are really controversial and when one brings them up like this, it is considered as devil’s work.
There have been so many reasons why people have done things in their lives including having church affairs. One may want to achieve something by being in a certain group and if the best way is by doing something acceptable to that group, one will do it without believing in it. I mean here for example, I may declare that I am saved because I want the favour of a priest or some other person for a scholarship, job, etc. you will notice that the moment one achieves the goal, he or she may drop the belief. Many ‘missionaries’ have come for other purposes but under the guise of strong Christian beliefs or being born again. As the world has become so diverse with issues, being a member of a certain group may give one a consolation from world’s problems and Christianity is good at achieving that.
Some Christian groups think theirs is the best belief. Someone told me recently that if I want to get the true GOD, I should join Pentecostal Churches. Isn’t this a division in Christianity? Others believe in healing power without medicine and have caused deaths by denying people medical attention. Are these any different from traditional healers who consult spirits? Even the traditional healers are wiser in that they still give herbs which cure and not the spirit power alone. I think GOD has given us the world and all the good things to use and one good gift is to sustain life with the help of medicine. All the faculties of seeing, thinking, deciding are given to us to help ourselves. The saying is that GOD helps those who help themselves. You are given eyes to see both good and bad things and on seeing danger, other faculties allow you to escape. Teachers of some Christian groups will feel they have succeeded in preaching if they convert people. They do not realize that by so doing they are bringing divisions. As I mentioned at the beginning, becoming a Christian is a conversion already and the constant teachings delivered should make one judge oneself and inwardly change for better. What use is it to declare your sins and out of church, you commit the same again: Backbiting, anger, quarrelling, jealousy, name it and you have not changed?
Can a Christian really overcome the problems of life in this changing world and particularly in urban areas? To me the answer is “No”. This is a sincere and life experience answer. Take your family which should be your first contact. You cannot convince all your children to follow your beliefs. If you fail that, can you convert all the others? You will always face resistance in your attempt to reach others. Come to money problems. Much as you would not like to be indebted, you will be forced to. You even become selfish. Just imagine, the only way you can have food is with money and you only have enough to care for your immediate family. I do not think you will give it away to feed someone else. You become unsociable because you do not have the money to travel or contribute for functions. Segregation is common, either due to differences in beliefs, clans, education, marital status, etc. you even notice at functions where Christian equality fails.
By James Dramani (1998)
Tuesday
Valuable wisdom
“An artist must be a thoroughly educated analyst and researcher.” –Russian Painter Pavel Filonov
Wealth is given to a Muslim so that he may perform prayers perfectly and pay the annual charges known as Zakat in Islam. But the human being is so greedy that he knows no extent to his desires. He goes on collecting wealth until the last breath.
In the last third of every night, our LORD descends to the lower most heaven and says, “Who is calling Me, so that I may answer him? Who is asking Me so that I may grant him? Who is seeking forgiveness and I will pardon him?
Wealth is given to a Muslim so that he may perform prayers perfectly and pay the annual charges known as Zakat in Islam. But the human being is so greedy that he knows no extent to his desires. He goes on collecting wealth until the last breath.
In the last third of every night, our LORD descends to the lower most heaven and says, “Who is calling Me, so that I may answer him? Who is asking Me so that I may grant him? Who is seeking forgiveness and I will pardon him?
Can’t Be without Buvera
They have been demonized for causing drainage plus sewerage blockages; cancers in addition to other diseases in the digestive system and for failing to decompose quickly. However, even when the Minister of Finance and Economic Planning banned the use of ‘Buveera’ in Uganda while reading the budget for the new financial year 2007/8 on 1st July, few people followed the ruling. The problem was that ‘wanainchi’ were given only one month to stop the use and manufacture of these unwanted products. Instead, the importance of these bags was laid bare for all to see and no one dared to implement the ministry’s direction.
On Wednesday 30 April 2008 while returning to Nakawa from town around 9 AM, someone in the Ntinda bound taxi I was in suddenly mentioned something interesting, “There is tight security here.” I wondered where yet I had been in that area around 7 AM with my manager and saw nothing. It really takes a short time for things to happen. When I looked that way, I say a banner with Uganda Revenue Authority written on it campaigning against Buvera, “Keep the Pearl pure”. They were probably launching aggressive action against Buveera. Later on in the day while watching News on TV, I learnt that it was a joint initiative alongside other local organizations against polythene above 30 microns.
“I think they are going to pull this off,” one lady commented as I got ready to disembark. Come to think of it, they have enough resources to support a ‘kaveera-free environment’ but people somehow cannot do without these bags; the only other option could be to produce quicker decomposing (bio-degradable) polythene bags. Otherwise, we may just have to give the better solution as we eliminate Buveera.
On Wednesday 30 April 2008 while returning to Nakawa from town around 9 AM, someone in the Ntinda bound taxi I was in suddenly mentioned something interesting, “There is tight security here.” I wondered where yet I had been in that area around 7 AM with my manager and saw nothing. It really takes a short time for things to happen. When I looked that way, I say a banner with Uganda Revenue Authority written on it campaigning against Buvera, “Keep the Pearl pure”. They were probably launching aggressive action against Buveera. Later on in the day while watching News on TV, I learnt that it was a joint initiative alongside other local organizations against polythene above 30 microns.
“I think they are going to pull this off,” one lady commented as I got ready to disembark. Come to think of it, they have enough resources to support a ‘kaveera-free environment’ but people somehow cannot do without these bags; the only other option could be to produce quicker decomposing (bio-degradable) polythene bags. Otherwise, we may just have to give the better solution as we eliminate Buveera.
I prayed to the devil…GOD, forgive me!
One Thing I abhor in Life are People who think their Possessions, Privileges or Abilities (Whatever) give them a Right like "Bakopi" to despise others. Remind them that Everything comes from GOD as a Gift and can be taken away! Besides, everyone is given at least one. So if you have five, shut up and enjoy them! I'm not like everyone else, am me! I joined Makerere College School in 2001 with 15 points on 8 subjects (9 on 6) as probably the Best SMACK reject (Cut Off Points: 14 on 8 instead of promised 17 after Senior 4 UCE exams) and sat on the second last desk during Senior 5. Behind me was an irritatingly proud though seemingly shy guy who had studied at Macos since his first year in secondary. Did this Musoga (cum Afrikaner) want to bully me as a welcome gesture or was he just naturally patronising? I had seen worse bullies and scary people before at SMACK (including murderers, occultists, vandals plus homosexuals) and so there was no way this guy could intimidate me. Perhaps, he was a few months older than me but he really irked me by repeatedly calling me “fake and boring”. Of course I knew that I could not always be entertaining, absolutely no one is, but at least he should not have been unflinching in trying to crash my Spirit so that I obey his Wishes. Dude even said my legs were like a cassava stem. Personally, I thought he was a 'Borehole' (Compound Term I coined from the words 'Bore' and 'Asshole' though I never spat that out). He actually wrote for me three topics (on a small piece of paper) I had to discuss whenever I talked to him, how rude! I prayed to GOD about this but since nothing seemed to be happening, I decided to do the unthinkable. Ignoring the possible rejection by parents, siblings, relatives and friends, I spoke in his face that I was ‘going to bury’ him. My plan was to break his nose with a hard uppercut left punch and kick him even to death against the corner wall. To ensure this, I even invoked the devil to possess me so that I would not know what I was doing. GOD, forgive me! Thankfully, moments after my wicked prayer, I looked up and saw the heavens open. A voice from the sparkling white opening asked me to forgive if I did not want to miss the "glorious splendor of yonder". On second thought, I walked into the classroom at lunch time straight to this guy, shook his hand and said, “Thank the Holy Spirit that you are still alive!”
I couldn’t commit Suicide; it never crossed my Mind even once. He wasn’t my Coolest Classmate, so I didn’t need his Approval. Besides, all those who were cooler than him never treated me this Way, neither did they become his lieutenants. Those who knew him just advised me to see a Counselor but I wanted to stand up strong for myself. Ignoring the Slurs doesn’t help. Sometimes repeated Abuses can hurt like Curses; you have to shush the Bully's Mouth! Bullying in school is a Community Problem; everyone should be involved to stop it! Who do the Patronisers think they are, don't they value the Mental Health of their Victims? Psychologists recommend that bullied Victims tell their Offenders to stop, loudly, firmly and with a fearless Body Language. Targeted individuals must somehow demonstrate to the would-be bully that one will not allow one's self to be daunted, intimidated, or otherwise "cowed". Bullies don’t understand, they don’t feel a Victim's Pain but Elders and Bystanders should be able to change these Bullies and stick up for Victims. Positive Peer Pressure can change Lives and prevent Suicides or Mass Revenge Murders in Schools. Some Victims can fire back in hellish Ways: Rat Poison in Bread, hot Flat Iron on Skin, etc. Other Case Studies: The 1999 Columbine High School Massacre in the US and 2015 Umpqua Community (Oregon) Shooting singling out Christians. Sometimes I thought it was Mephistopheles talking through this Guy, trying to take my Soul and crown me with Thorns in a Crucible. He sounded like a Spokesperson for the Devil. A Chinese Proverb says that, "Hatred corrodes the Vessel in which it is stored..." Oppression is so harsh, unfair and unjust that it can make you feel imprisoned by despair and lead you to believe you are hopelessly and helplessly worthless. I didn’t kill this Guy because a Voice told me not to, but I almost. About a dozen Years later, I created a fictional Super-shero Character named Kubaku plus Oduo, her male Alter-ego (Best Friend) based on this Experience...
How can someone intimidate you simply because he wants you to talk to him about 1.Computers, 2.Women and 3.Arsenal? Talk is cheap, anyone can afford it! "Dude, Simon says, 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' Neither do you interest me! I have a Right to remain silent. Let a Brada live his Quiet Life! Besides, Computers are useful to everybody, but without Linux, they suck with their Trojan Horses, Worms and Viruses, am on my Mega-Super-Video-Smartphone Vibe! Only thing worth talking about is Women, but not as Porn Objects, Voyeur! They are lovely, exciting, beautiful and equal; Every Adam has an Eve, every Moses has his own Zipporah, every King has his own Queen, every Groom has his own Bride. I also support Arsenal like you though I've been a Gooner for only three painful years (since Saturday 16th May 1998): Sometimes you lose, other times you draw, the rest of the time you win, it's pre-destined, so excuse that topic or face whatever comes (Arsenal forever)... I'm just trying to hear what GOD is telling my deaf-mute Soul and see how to avoid Hell on Earth plus After Earth."
I couldn’t commit Suicide; it never crossed my Mind even once. He wasn’t my Coolest Classmate, so I didn’t need his Approval. Besides, all those who were cooler than him never treated me this Way, neither did they become his lieutenants. Those who knew him just advised me to see a Counselor but I wanted to stand up strong for myself. Ignoring the Slurs doesn’t help. Sometimes repeated Abuses can hurt like Curses; you have to shush the Bully's Mouth! Bullying in school is a Community Problem; everyone should be involved to stop it! Who do the Patronisers think they are, don't they value the Mental Health of their Victims? Psychologists recommend that bullied Victims tell their Offenders to stop, loudly, firmly and with a fearless Body Language. Targeted individuals must somehow demonstrate to the would-be bully that one will not allow one's self to be daunted, intimidated, or otherwise "cowed". Bullies don’t understand, they don’t feel a Victim's Pain but Elders and Bystanders should be able to change these Bullies and stick up for Victims. Positive Peer Pressure can change Lives and prevent Suicides or Mass Revenge Murders in Schools. Some Victims can fire back in hellish Ways: Rat Poison in Bread, hot Flat Iron on Skin, etc. Other Case Studies: The 1999 Columbine High School Massacre in the US and 2015 Umpqua Community (Oregon) Shooting singling out Christians. Sometimes I thought it was Mephistopheles talking through this Guy, trying to take my Soul and crown me with Thorns in a Crucible. He sounded like a Spokesperson for the Devil. A Chinese Proverb says that, "Hatred corrodes the Vessel in which it is stored..." Oppression is so harsh, unfair and unjust that it can make you feel imprisoned by despair and lead you to believe you are hopelessly and helplessly worthless. I didn’t kill this Guy because a Voice told me not to, but I almost. About a dozen Years later, I created a fictional Super-shero Character named Kubaku plus Oduo, her male Alter-ego (Best Friend) based on this Experience...
How can someone intimidate you simply because he wants you to talk to him about 1.Computers, 2.Women and 3.Arsenal? Talk is cheap, anyone can afford it! "Dude, Simon says, 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' Neither do you interest me! I have a Right to remain silent. Let a Brada live his Quiet Life! Besides, Computers are useful to everybody, but without Linux, they suck with their Trojan Horses, Worms and Viruses, am on my Mega-Super-Video-Smartphone Vibe! Only thing worth talking about is Women, but not as Porn Objects, Voyeur! They are lovely, exciting, beautiful and equal; Every Adam has an Eve, every Moses has his own Zipporah, every King has his own Queen, every Groom has his own Bride. I also support Arsenal like you though I've been a Gooner for only three painful years (since Saturday 16th May 1998): Sometimes you lose, other times you draw, the rest of the time you win, it's pre-destined, so excuse that topic or face whatever comes (Arsenal forever)... I'm just trying to hear what GOD is telling my deaf-mute Soul and see how to avoid Hell on Earth plus After Earth."
Friday
Prince Charming
Prynce Charming Joel Okuyo who featured with a white cutie named Sonya on East Africa TV’s Friday Night Live (18th April 2008) hosted by Ugandan presenter Ssebbo in Dar-es-Salaam, is a real movie buff. With (much more than) three movies on his portfolio (Two feature length films: ‘Battle of the Souls’about former devil worshipper Roger Mugisha directed by the tall Matt Bish who couldn’t believe I was around 60 kilos in weight; plus ‘From the Ashes of Hatred’, a Nollywood and UgaWood collaboration about a family which did not want their daughter to marry a Muganda; and a TV Documentary ‘Trouble in Paradise’ - about the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest Massacre. Lyhnnq-x acted as a rebel leader; by the time he went to the studio), his career is definitely taking off to the skies of international film. Having stayed with him during first year, first semester at Uganda Christian University’s affiliate hostel Bishop Kamanyire (since September 2003), I know how entertaining he naturally is. He was among my first real friends at UCU besides my Kenyan (Kikuyu-Luo) roommate Sidney Okumu (I left Kamanyire Hostel for St Michael Royale Hostel in Bugujju Village after May 2004). As tribemates, it was really easy to connect because of our ancestry but the love for music, almost similar taste for women and fantastic exploration of ideas strengthened our friendship. Some people say he talks too much but that is what makes people more interesting especially when they do it to thrill. Maybe one day he will be crowned the “King of Ugandan Cinema”.
AFTERMATH:
JOEL has won numerous international accolades in film including: Four time international award winning actor (2008), Best Supporting Actor (Balafon Film Festival, Italy 2009), Best Actor in Supporting Role Africa Movie Academy Awards, Nigeria 2010), Best performance by an Actor/actress (Uhuru Film Festival, Ubuntu Village, Colorado, USA), Best Actor (ZIFF) 2011.
AFTERMATH:
JOEL has won numerous international accolades in film including: Four time international award winning actor (2008), Best Supporting Actor (Balafon Film Festival, Italy 2009), Best Actor in Supporting Role Africa Movie Academy Awards, Nigeria 2010), Best performance by an Actor/actress (Uhuru Film Festival, Ubuntu Village, Colorado, USA), Best Actor (ZIFF) 2011.
Survival Football
Every civilization has found a way to pass time; At St. Mary’s College Kisubi (1997-2000), my classmates invented another. Arguably My Hottest Sport during school, ‘Survival Football’ (also known as “Bonna Bazanye” – Let everyone play) had no major guidelines. There were simply two teams - the West Side near SMACK Road and the East End. Changing sides and walking in or out of the game was allowed during the fast-paced match. As if that was not funny enough, one side was allowed to have as few as 13 players while the other over 22. Some final scores were as outrageous as 9 - 11. Everyone was a referee but the south side of the pitch had no throw-in line. If the ball crossed to the other two identical fields (where other classes were playing), it was the duty of some of the players to just chase it and kick it back. The Northern touchline near the teachers’ garden did not require neat restarts, one handed throw-ins were allowed. Otherwise the only exceptional rules were corner kicks, handballs plus maybe off-sides which were sometimes violated. Up to today, I still cannot understand how Ivan Mutebi (nicknamed Mutex) scored a hat-trick with only three touches, from neither penalties nor free kicks. His once-in-a-lifetime success was so unbelievable that no ‘survivor’ ever achieved it again.
‘Survival Football’ somehow bound our three streams with chords that could not be broken. While fundraising in 1999 for an unprecedented class jersey, students willingly contributed the minimum amount requested from each individual. We also rallied feverishly behind our boys‘The Block Owners’: Machuki, Lugemwa, Kitaka (3A); Haule [Steady Defender], Kiyinji [An amazing talent], Jacques (Not real name) (3B); Ddungu [My Personal Favourite, a true striking daredevil], Atuhura (3C); just to mention a few, who beat strong opposition including their seniors on their way to the finals of the Headmaster’s Cup which they lost unfairly to HSC (Higher School Certificate). A number of our classmates were regulars in the SMACK team and it was the first time Senior 3s almost won the annual inter-class tournament.
My childhood ambition (around 1992) was to become a soccer professional like the recently retired Brazilian ace Romario. However, due to injury worries and the nagging pressure to succeed in academics, I moderated my involvement in sport. Nevertheless at SMACK, ‘Survival Football’ loosened my inhibitions. I modeled my game for the West Side on Patrick Vieira’s majestic role for the Gunners and only managed a couple of goals in my final two years at SMACK. I had just fallen for Arsenal’s traditional ‘Retreating Defence’ technique in 1998 and therefore wanted to play like my heart. Overall, Communal Soccer at SMACK was so enticing that it brought together non-soccer fans, school team regulars, European Football enthusiasts and those not so talented but knew how to have fun. It was just a time to kick the ball around, show off any tricks you could summon and let off steam.
(Article published in Sunday Monitor [School Times] 11th May 2008, Page 20)
Here is the sequel to that “ballistic story”, Part 2 as Jimmo (Ocuku) called it… Nkosa was a solid player at the back; Tinyiro deputized as Ashley Cole, was a regular for West Side like me in the tough games and had the La Liga trophy (Block Owners League Cup) to show for his efforts (I was actually on the losing side, beaten 4-2 [We equalized twice only] while playing against his team that had the marauding Bushy (Katongole) as captain - It was a really Bad Mistake that I forgot to include him in the main article next to Ddungu - and Zagallo (Self appointed father of the league and coach). The following year I was bought by Zagallo’s team which included Kalinabiri old boy and maestro Lazarus Wazarahi but our games were stopped by the administration. We had become too ingenious for their own liking because the games involved money and trading players); Jimmo had fantastic ball control and other skills like angling the post and bar for a goal - unstoppable; Ogwal would not feature for long periods but always enjoyed the games; (Gerald) Okol was the genius who should have featured in the class team alongside his namesake also in the same stream C; Acanakwo said Part One of the article was a true representation of what happened and recommended that in future I ought to write about the “Idlers Arc” – Amazingly, he once knocked me down during the Block Owners League Cup; Yawe was like a Ghost on the brink of scoring every time we kicked the ball near Zone 14 in front of the goal area; Beehamya left SMACK early but even at Macos he displayed fantastic individual talent; Nabeta had the vigour of a charging goat; Mutuugu was short but lethal in halting air balls; Louis used his Basketball height and holding skills in goal like a pro - one day, my side tried hard to score past him, I also tried to chip him delicately, the ball went over his stretched arm, dipped but just hit the crossbar and returned to the goal area; every Block Owner has his own perspective...
[To be continued]
‘Survival Football’ somehow bound our three streams with chords that could not be broken. While fundraising in 1999 for an unprecedented class jersey, students willingly contributed the minimum amount requested from each individual. We also rallied feverishly behind our boys‘The Block Owners’: Machuki, Lugemwa, Kitaka (3A); Haule [Steady Defender], Kiyinji [An amazing talent], Jacques (Not real name) (3B); Ddungu [My Personal Favourite, a true striking daredevil], Atuhura (3C); just to mention a few, who beat strong opposition including their seniors on their way to the finals of the Headmaster’s Cup which they lost unfairly to HSC (Higher School Certificate). A number of our classmates were regulars in the SMACK team and it was the first time Senior 3s almost won the annual inter-class tournament.
My childhood ambition (around 1992) was to become a soccer professional like the recently retired Brazilian ace Romario. However, due to injury worries and the nagging pressure to succeed in academics, I moderated my involvement in sport. Nevertheless at SMACK, ‘Survival Football’ loosened my inhibitions. I modeled my game for the West Side on Patrick Vieira’s majestic role for the Gunners and only managed a couple of goals in my final two years at SMACK. I had just fallen for Arsenal’s traditional ‘Retreating Defence’ technique in 1998 and therefore wanted to play like my heart. Overall, Communal Soccer at SMACK was so enticing that it brought together non-soccer fans, school team regulars, European Football enthusiasts and those not so talented but knew how to have fun. It was just a time to kick the ball around, show off any tricks you could summon and let off steam.
(Article published in Sunday Monitor [School Times] 11th May 2008, Page 20)
Here is the sequel to that “ballistic story”, Part 2 as Jimmo (Ocuku) called it… Nkosa was a solid player at the back; Tinyiro deputized as Ashley Cole, was a regular for West Side like me in the tough games and had the La Liga trophy (Block Owners League Cup) to show for his efforts (I was actually on the losing side, beaten 4-2 [We equalized twice only] while playing against his team that had the marauding Bushy (Katongole) as captain - It was a really Bad Mistake that I forgot to include him in the main article next to Ddungu - and Zagallo (Self appointed father of the league and coach). The following year I was bought by Zagallo’s team which included Kalinabiri old boy and maestro Lazarus Wazarahi but our games were stopped by the administration. We had become too ingenious for their own liking because the games involved money and trading players); Jimmo had fantastic ball control and other skills like angling the post and bar for a goal - unstoppable; Ogwal would not feature for long periods but always enjoyed the games; (Gerald) Okol was the genius who should have featured in the class team alongside his namesake also in the same stream C; Acanakwo said Part One of the article was a true representation of what happened and recommended that in future I ought to write about the “Idlers Arc” – Amazingly, he once knocked me down during the Block Owners League Cup; Yawe was like a Ghost on the brink of scoring every time we kicked the ball near Zone 14 in front of the goal area; Beehamya left SMACK early but even at Macos he displayed fantastic individual talent; Nabeta had the vigour of a charging goat; Mutuugu was short but lethal in halting air balls; Louis used his Basketball height and holding skills in goal like a pro - one day, my side tried hard to score past him, I also tried to chip him delicately, the ball went over his stretched arm, dipped but just hit the crossbar and returned to the goal area; every Block Owner has his own perspective...
[To be continued]
Block Owners (2024 Book)
I was admitted Number 31 by SMACK on Monday 3rd June 1997; Senior 1A was my designated class on the eastside of the campus. Older students carried my belongings to the dorm after dad dropped me in Mpigi. I wasn't bullied coz the mature Senior 6s protected us. However, after they left months later, we helplessly became prey and had to look out for each other against older SMACKists. That is where the unbreakable Block Owners solidarity was birthed...
In S1 after reading the World Book Encyclopedia, I wanted to become a firefighter. My dream careers during Primary School were footballer like Romario, trucker so that I could meet many women on the road or doctor because of several class friends with the same plan. On leaving SMACK, I turned to self-taught Art...
After one year at SMACK, I turned over a new leaf and stopped being irritable (easily agitated); felt like it might bring me angina (heart disease)...
On the eve of Independence Day 1997, the guy sitted next to me borrowed my English Dictionary. His desk had no padlock unlike mine, so he was robbed along with many other students that night. In the morning, everyone in the school was ordered to put their books on the ground outside each classroom so that those with complaints can search. I didn't see my dictionary but later found it on display for sale at Nasser Road in Kampala, several kilometers north. I just looked at it and laughed, then walked away coz I felt noone would believe me. In fact, I might have been beaten unless I alerted Police first...
Flu tormented me at SMACK every year but was happy to stay alive (I would sniff crushed eucalyptus leaves in my hands and eat green pep sweets for relief); Kerere with handkerchief all the time and Kakembo had permanent sinuses but probably healed later in life...
I didn't hate anyone at SMACK; I would get angry but never allowed my fury to grow into toxic negativity. Although we had beef with S4s during S2, I still forgave the guy who attacked me on behalf of his blackboard-mocked classmate one night after Night Prep. We were about five or six guys in class and the elders were three; I stood up and faced off with him until he relented...
Another guy in S4 ordered me to get sugar and soap for him; I lied that I didn't have. He then told me to ask my dormmates. So I walked back to my section, told the guys I was in a situation, walked back and lied again that my yearmates also do not have. He directed me to pick a hanger on the clothing line so that he can smack my cheeks, but I just grinned and walked out of the quadrangle without worrying that he would run out of his dorm and attack me from behind...
I spent Senior 1 singing in the chapel choir's alto voice with many dedicated rehearsals when Night Prep ended plus learnt musical notations, but after that I quit without apologies because I didn't want to pray to dead saints or Mary even though I respect her highly. Nevertheless, I did not leave the Wildlife (Planted a tree behind Kakooza House dormitories) nor German Club (We watched extra movies from the common Friday nightshows)...
Nicholas Mwanja was a gifted pianoman; never met anyone better after him...
My first headmaster at SMACK left the Brotherhood of Christian Instruction and later got married, halleluJAH! He was a tough guy but very protective of us from bullies and I never got in his bad books, so I missed him a bit when he was replaced. The 2nd headmaster was not bad but some students didn't fancy him much. He was said to be fond of one of the teachers; love is not a bad thing. He flogged me in Senior 4 for delaying in the quadrangle during Morning Prep (5:30 to 6:45am); two stickmarks remained on my cold bums for some time. Our class representatives asked the administration to allow us forfeit Morning Prep coz some people revised through Winter [Period after Night Prep which ends at 10pm until 5:30am wakeup bell]...
I had a bedwetting problem and since my mattress placed outside did not dry up in time sometimes due to water thrown on it while people bathed or if it fell in runoff water, I'd sleep on a blanket placed on my springbed. One Saturday in S2, a yearmate who was rumoured to be a homo (won't mention his name but he was expelled in our S4 while he peeped at a Senior 1 in the latrine) came to tell me that I can share his bed with him. He tried to grab my willy but I chased him away. That same year, about 20 students two years ahead were expelled for homosexuality. I've never had any desire to be gay though I have met suspected homos since Primary School in Jinja, during A-Level at Macos plus campus...
Storm nights proved to me the destructive power of heavy rain on a lake or sea; glasses would break. One day, hailstones covered the grass like snow...
Saturday morning cleaning was fun and many times, my Lourdel House won the contest. I was happy that my yearmate Ivan Earl Agaba's mother was in charge of our cluster; she handled us kindly like a good mama (not overbearingly harsh)...
Every Evening Prep from 6:30 to 7:15pm except weekends, one of the classes spent a corresponding day in the chapel eg Senior 1s on Monday up to Senior 5s and 6s on Friday. Sunday Mass at 9am was compulsory for all...
There were three shifts for meals: S1 and 6 first, 2 and 4 next (where we were clobbered at the exits during load shedding nights) plus 3 and 5 last...
Obsessions Music and Dance group came to perform but I didn't attend their show... I enjoyed Coca-Cola promos more; even won prizes... One of the new foreign Uganda Cranes coaches (probably German) jetted into the country and the first game he watched was at our pitch...
Playing basketball with the towering Shaq-like Wilbrod Oketcho was frightening; he would slam in our faces and made me quit. I last saw him at Sheraton Hotel Kampala. Hardluck that he was gunned down by thugs but the game runs in the family's blood; his cousin Flavia became arguably Uganda's greatest basketballer...
One Visitation Day, I walked to the main pitch and found Mr. John Katuramu with his daughters (my yearmate Job's sisters); they looked really beautiful as they played and jumped around. That's when I accepted that Princess Bagaya's Toro Kingdom is indeed blessed too (like Bateso, Ethiopians and Banyarwanda Cushites); it was before JK was arrested for the murder of King Oyo's father...
S3 was for being Timekeeper to honour a random request from my streammonitor Semaks though after being Headboy in P7, I had made a private vow never to become a prefect again. I was the last on the Prefects List and never policed anyone; all I did was ring the bell like a diligent slave and unpaid servant: I did it for GOD and my schoolmates...
I had to take my old red macintosh mat to school for my final two years at SMACK and end the shame of taking my mattress out to dry after bedwetting because the distance had increased. I'd pray to GOD to help me stop but instead wake up in a bigger pool of liquid. Why me, LORD? Mum told me not to drink a lot before nighttime plus wake up in the night to ease myself. That's where my 2am moments originated from but by 5am, I'd still wet my bed (shaking my head)...
After his S4 UCE German exam, one brownskinned dude in my Lourdel dorm kindly left me with his small black German Dictionary. The gesture was so sacrificial that after I finished mine the following year, I also left the same dictionary with my 2nd cousin two years behind me...
Some Champions League and Euro nights were really amazing; classmates betted with money (about 200 UGX) and the ones with the correct score recorded on the front blackboard shared the collected jackpot. For me, I only reported the news and drew goal graphics on the east blackboard. Nyanzi used the west blackboard...
Brother Martin once amused us during the daily Morning Assembly (7:30 to 8am) when after Real Madrid won 2-3 at Old Trafford the preceding night, he said he "was there" and warned us to be careful about our future. I wondered how fast he flew from UK to Entebbe; anyway, we were also there via TV waves...
Simon Kasyate would read news for us infront of the assembly; when he eventually became a journalist despite studying Law at campus, I wasn't surprised. I enjoyed his Capital FM Desert Island Discs tenure...
SMACK jabber was a great and very lively dance; yearmate Mali had great moves...
I did not attend the S4 social but actively helped prepare the main hall for my classmates and their Saturday female visitors. Shamelessly, I sat in the dining hall alone to take breakfast; didn't care what other schoolmates would gossip while my classmates had fun because I had like 18 reasons why. I also drew a chart hanged on the rafts of the chapel roof for our farewell mass...
One night, a schoolmate who used to steal people's property and sell was chased through the school campus. The commotion was just hilarious coz we thought it was an outsider only to learn that it was a SMACKist...
Women of SMACK: There was a teacher who was very darkskinned but yearmates satirically nicknamed her "Snow White"; her English accent was also quite foreign. Another was called "Dairy" due to her big bust. Our Geography teacher was really tall while her colleague who taught the other two streams once showed up to dictate notes to us in a very provocatively pleasant attire while our own was absent. The Literature teacher was nicknamed Muthoni like a character in one of the books she taught us and married a soldier at our school chapel; I think I sang in the choir at her wedding. Mrs. Katimbo (aka Nabisene, wife to my namesake Edward) was the one who taught me English longest in my entire school time (4 years); my favourite lesson was Summarisation in S4. One of the secretaries was a stunner; librarian too. The canteen ladies were kind; wish I had memorised the name of the taller one. I'll never forget the nurse (Musimenta's mum) who gave me orange Magnesium tablets while I experienced a nefarious stomachache in S2; it's like somebody had bewitched me to die and she lifted the curse. There was a sister who studied with the HSC (Higher School Certificate) boys; she left the school by evening though. Another served as a student teacher and called a tooth "a teeth" during a Biology lesson; we laughed...
One of the male teachers always wore a Kaunda suit; he had a huge collection. Another was called "Inspector"; as the Deputy Headmaster, he usually probed on indisciplined students...
I was whipped for allegedly copying my neighbour in a Mathematics test and a threat was made to expel both of us yet he probably copied me or we wrote the same answer from our classwork books...
Nabinoonya Beach on Lake Victoria's shore hosted bullroasting for champion houses and spiritual retreats for all classes. It's where I spotted a Catholic Bible with the 2nd Commandment (Do not bow down to idols) removed...
During S4, most of the movies shown on Fridays I had already watched at home during the holidays simply because the Entertainment Prefect picked them from the same video library in Bukoto I went to. That freed me to attend prayers with bornagains behind the Memorial Library (in a lush-green lawn field called California)...
Some weekends, I'd pray alone infront of the Physics Lab, behind the Agriculture Lab or at the site for the proposed swimming pool. One morning, I smelt the presence of a goat and told one of my fellowship brothers. He told another brother named Raymond who fasted and saw a vision of me being pushed from behind by an ancestral dragon. Suddenly, JESUS appeared and the dragon flew away, then He hugged me. Some nights later, the fellowship cast a spirit of "pretended holiness" out of me...
After End of Term exams, I always wished the feeling would remain the same forever coz we had a full week for lounging. The Block Owners (BO) Liga was a great arrangement where yearmates traded players like European clubs...
SMACK 100 during 2006 was a great reunion where I met so many OBs and people I didn't even know before. Others had sons at SMACK like my campus lecturer Okoku Obomba and it was fun to see him there. While lining up for lunch, I stood behind WBS TV's livewire Emily Kikazi and was awestricken but refused to let her know that I like her. Couldn't believe how short she was in height compared to me...
There was a lot that happened in my four years instead of six at the Best Secondary School in Africa, but I'll leave the rest for others to tell.
THE END
Thursday
Plants Every Day Keep Diseases Away
(Below is a List of MEDICINAL PLANTS [Non English names in Lugbara] given to me by my Dad. If you find any prescription helpful, better use it and enjoy your life because sometimes, we ignore the usefulness of certain plants around us yet they might just be the bridge between ourselves and good health. If you cannot afford expensive supplements like from GNLD, try one of these natural products from GOD, and join the President’s Team)
1. Onion (Fungal Infection)
2. Garlic – Basalasumu (Scabies)
3. Aloe Vera (Closed abscess, Swelling on skin)
4. Pineapple (Herpes)
5. Peanuts – Funo (Insecticide)
6. Neem (Haemorrhoids, piles)
7. Cabbage (Wounds)
8. Pigeon peas – Burusu (Venomous Stings)
9. Chillies (Cough)
10. Paw Paw (Bacillary Dysentery)
11. Cassia (Fever)
12. Lemon (Sore Throat)
13. Orange (Intestinal Worms)
14. Coffee (Amoebiasis)
15. Colanut (Malaria)
16. Gourd (Asthma)
17. Tumeric – Binzari (Bronchitis)
18. Lemon Grass – Kurikuchai (Otitis, to do with ears)
19. Stranomium weed – Scratcher fruited (Consti[ation)
20. Euchalyptus (Diarrhoea)
21. Sunflower (Dizziness)
22. African Malve – Purple plant (Diabetes)
23. Sweet Potato (conjunctivitis, red eyes)
24. Mango (Prostatitis, to do with Sperm Production)
25. Melia – lira (Gastritis, burning stomach pain)
26. Moringa (Sprain)
27. Mulberry (Rheumatism)
28. Tobacco (Lactation problem)
29. Rice (Sedation)
30. Avocado (Irregular Menstruation)
31. Guava (Hypertension)
32. HIguereta – Olu (Sterility)
33. Sesame – Anu (Labour Pains)
34. Tamarind – Iti (Loss of Appetite)
35. Vinca Rose – Roselike Flower (Cancers)
36. Maize (AIDS Support)
37. Ginger – Tangauzi (Anti-erosive hedges)
38. Asthmaweed (Flatulence, gas in stomach)
39. D-Haronga (Indigestion)
“From my experience, European medicine can’t cure diseases such as High Blood Pressure, Sugar, Asthma, Ulcers, inherited Syphilis, and other diseases, but herbs work.” – Father ANATOLI WASSWA didn’t train in medical school but set up a clinic in Kibuye, Kampala.
1. Onion (Fungal Infection)
2. Garlic – Basalasumu (Scabies)
3. Aloe Vera (Closed abscess, Swelling on skin)
4. Pineapple (Herpes)
5. Peanuts – Funo (Insecticide)
6. Neem (Haemorrhoids, piles)
7. Cabbage (Wounds)
8. Pigeon peas – Burusu (Venomous Stings)
9. Chillies (Cough)
10. Paw Paw (Bacillary Dysentery)
11. Cassia (Fever)
12. Lemon (Sore Throat)
13. Orange (Intestinal Worms)
14. Coffee (Amoebiasis)
15. Colanut (Malaria)
16. Gourd (Asthma)
17. Tumeric – Binzari (Bronchitis)
18. Lemon Grass – Kurikuchai (Otitis, to do with ears)
19. Stranomium weed – Scratcher fruited (Consti[ation)
20. Euchalyptus (Diarrhoea)
21. Sunflower (Dizziness)
22. African Malve – Purple plant (Diabetes)
23. Sweet Potato (conjunctivitis, red eyes)
24. Mango (Prostatitis, to do with Sperm Production)
25. Melia – lira (Gastritis, burning stomach pain)
26. Moringa (Sprain)
27. Mulberry (Rheumatism)
28. Tobacco (Lactation problem)
29. Rice (Sedation)
30. Avocado (Irregular Menstruation)
31. Guava (Hypertension)
32. HIguereta – Olu (Sterility)
33. Sesame – Anu (Labour Pains)
34. Tamarind – Iti (Loss of Appetite)
35. Vinca Rose – Roselike Flower (Cancers)
36. Maize (AIDS Support)
37. Ginger – Tangauzi (Anti-erosive hedges)
38. Asthmaweed (Flatulence, gas in stomach)
39. D-Haronga (Indigestion)
“From my experience, European medicine can’t cure diseases such as High Blood Pressure, Sugar, Asthma, Ulcers, inherited Syphilis, and other diseases, but herbs work.” – Father ANATOLI WASSWA didn’t train in medical school but set up a clinic in Kibuye, Kampala.
TheBestWebsiteinUganda
Allow me to introduce “the Best Website in Uganda”, at least according to AikoGraphics. I actually saw it in 2007 before it was published on the internet because it was designed by a former schoolmate of mine (at Makerere College School 2001-2) while he worked for Ses Jolies Pieces (a Multimedia company 2 floors above Kenjoy supermarket in Bukoto). Simon Wamahe was not so hysterical or vocal at Macos but seemed to have an intelligent aura around him. He focused on his Science subject combination without showing off but deep inside him was brewing a shining creative genius. At Kyambogo University 2003-6, he studied alongside other Information Technology mavericks namely Joseph Mutuugu (my SMACK Old Boy who now runs his own internet café) and Kasasa (also from Macos and working on big I.T projects in the city). Check out www.ntvuganda.co.ug and tell me what you think. It is too good to be Ugandan, someone may say but Simon says, “All you need is creativity…” Now with his new personal company in Nakulabye called “Creations Ltd” (I actually recommended that he plays with the name Kr8tions Ltd), Uganda should brace itself for High Definition stuff like the Fox Network’s website. Before this, there was a website you couldn’t believe, probably made to book the URL but nonetheless it did not have a bad home page. Its replacement though his several light years ahead.
Tuesday
Gaddafi’s Remarks in Uganda
During the Afro-Arab conference in Kampala, Uganda (March 2008), my Muslim brother Muammar Gaddafi, the great African leader from Libya had the boldness and controversial audacity to claim that the Bible is a hoax. Come to think of it, Christians say that the Quran is a rip-off from the Bible, so doesn’t that mean that the score of this eye-opening debate is tied at 2-2 after extra time for neutrals? We will henceforth go for the penultimate stage: the penalty shootout in my own words, so to say, because GOD will have the final word on Judgement day.
I grew up in an Anglican Christian family and went through most of the sacraments of faith so I will not distance myself from the Bible promoters. It’s the Bible that introduced me to the wonderful idea of fearing GOD but I felt far from him nonetheless. Even accepting Jesus into my rotten heart changed things for a while but I started slipping back to the past. Sin is a daily temptation. As a saved individual I always remembered that. However, there was no way the Bible could control my weaknesses yet its primary message is that our sins are forgiven through the cross. Someone may manipulate this privilege and crucify the Christ several times. The struggle can also be felt by those converting from Islam to Christianity. We all seek forgiveness and righteousness, not just salvation. Jesus actually warned that, “Not all who call me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
Meanwhile, I reasoned that since Islam is very strict on following GOD’s law, it would be wise to borrow the good teachings that help you do away with this tendency. Isn’t the Holy Spirit supposed to help us in this fight? Why do Muslims say that Jesus preached about the coming of Prophet Muhammad as the helper of the brethren but bible compilers blotted out that story? Couldn’t that have been the basis of Gaddafi’s remarks?
To some extent, I know that the bible was tampered with though I believe it is inspired scripture also. I became a Muslim on Sunday 1 September 2002 in the presence of my initiator, a staunch Pakistani believer, and a Ugandan Catholic who did not believe my decision simply because I was tired of living a hypocritical life of “sinning no more” as the Good Book proclaims. I had accepted Christ into my heart on Tuesday 2 December 1997 but sin was still in my veins. Jesus is Lord, every sheik and imam should believe that, but it takes your effort plus the work of GOD’s spirit to make you a new creature. Whether the Bible is a hoax or not must be determined by whether GOD will accept you into Heaven for following its teachings or just Christian traditions mixed with a compromising lifestyle.
I grew up in an Anglican Christian family and went through most of the sacraments of faith so I will not distance myself from the Bible promoters. It’s the Bible that introduced me to the wonderful idea of fearing GOD but I felt far from him nonetheless. Even accepting Jesus into my rotten heart changed things for a while but I started slipping back to the past. Sin is a daily temptation. As a saved individual I always remembered that. However, there was no way the Bible could control my weaknesses yet its primary message is that our sins are forgiven through the cross. Someone may manipulate this privilege and crucify the Christ several times. The struggle can also be felt by those converting from Islam to Christianity. We all seek forgiveness and righteousness, not just salvation. Jesus actually warned that, “Not all who call me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”
Meanwhile, I reasoned that since Islam is very strict on following GOD’s law, it would be wise to borrow the good teachings that help you do away with this tendency. Isn’t the Holy Spirit supposed to help us in this fight? Why do Muslims say that Jesus preached about the coming of Prophet Muhammad as the helper of the brethren but bible compilers blotted out that story? Couldn’t that have been the basis of Gaddafi’s remarks?
To some extent, I know that the bible was tampered with though I believe it is inspired scripture also. I became a Muslim on Sunday 1 September 2002 in the presence of my initiator, a staunch Pakistani believer, and a Ugandan Catholic who did not believe my decision simply because I was tired of living a hypocritical life of “sinning no more” as the Good Book proclaims. I had accepted Christ into my heart on Tuesday 2 December 1997 but sin was still in my veins. Jesus is Lord, every sheik and imam should believe that, but it takes your effort plus the work of GOD’s spirit to make you a new creature. Whether the Bible is a hoax or not must be determined by whether GOD will accept you into Heaven for following its teachings or just Christian traditions mixed with a compromising lifestyle.
Monday
Fools’ Paradise
April 1st, is like a birthday to me because sometimes I consider myself a fool for failing to achieve certain things in the time GOD has granted me on earth. Fools imagine that they can live long. Luckily I’m still alive, thank GOD! We are all the same people, right? So why can’t I do what you do? Why is success hard to come by at an early age? Easy, ask Aaliyah, Fabregas and other young stars…During the midnight hour on Fool's Day, I was watchin’ The Last Days of Lisa Lopes (TLC’s Left Eye) on MTV Base and was really hit by her down-to-earth soulfulness depicted in her final documentary where she was holidaying in Honduras, “Everyone [including supernova-like human stars] has their problems.” It’s amazing how she could sense that the Spirit of Death was chasing her…but she chose to move forward. That’s what probably killed her though it was also a very great attitude. I’m not saying that her unexpected accident was totally avoidable if she had listened to me but that we all have premonitions; paying keen attention to them can save your life.
I almost died twice on campus (2003-6). Focusing my attention to eluding death somehow saved me. I took time out to stop doing what I wanted and rested under GOD’s wings. We cannot keep moving forward all the time, we need to stop at the traffic lights and stop signs. As the saying goes, too much of anything can be bad…think twice, we need to bow down and ask the Creator for direction.
“Tonight rich man, your soul will be called up for Judgement.” According to one hadith in Islam, everybody’s life on earth is numbered between their eyes. Adam had 1000 but because he wanted his descendant David to live longer than 40 years, Adam’s death was brought forward by about 30 years. If you knew how long you would live like Idi Amin Dada, you would probably try to act reckless but GOD hides those truths from us. So live your life like a wise coward who ironically doesn’t fear death but doesn’t want to die young either, because some malicious angel is watching…
I almost died twice on campus (2003-6). Focusing my attention to eluding death somehow saved me. I took time out to stop doing what I wanted and rested under GOD’s wings. We cannot keep moving forward all the time, we need to stop at the traffic lights and stop signs. As the saying goes, too much of anything can be bad…think twice, we need to bow down and ask the Creator for direction.
“Tonight rich man, your soul will be called up for Judgement.” According to one hadith in Islam, everybody’s life on earth is numbered between their eyes. Adam had 1000 but because he wanted his descendant David to live longer than 40 years, Adam’s death was brought forward by about 30 years. If you knew how long you would live like Idi Amin Dada, you would probably try to act reckless but GOD hides those truths from us. So live your life like a wise coward who ironically doesn’t fear death but doesn’t want to die young either, because some malicious angel is watching…
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